|Reviews for Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Silver Resistance|
| Zion of Arcadia chapter 6 . 11h
So, in a continuing list of errors on my part, I used right instead of write on my part last review. Boo.
There were actually a surprising number of simple typos in this chapter. By your standards, anyway. During the section with Domo, when he transforms into a Venusaur, you refer to Char as a Charmadner, for example. Not that I mind, that typo is hilarious. He's a maaaaaniac. And you can't pull an 'it was intentional' this time, I read ALL the commentaries! Ha! I win. -dances-
Speaking of exclamation marks (like my segue?) I noticed you used at least one in the actual prose. Not a fan, personally, although I suppose it can be considered stylistic.
Moving along. I was kind of right about the Domo thing. Personally I think he's a mistake because his powers can easily be broken, i.e. too OP. As in banned on Smogon. You do a good job downplaying Domo's abilities, but given the Resistance is meant to be a plucky underdog type situation, he feels somewhat out of place. Of course, the actual reason is far more simplistic, but in line with what I was thinking. I want to scoff and say people dropping out due to the introduction of a Pokemon is ridiculous, but for a long time I was the same way about Lucario. God I hated that Pokemon. Still not a huge fan (his stupid yellow chest... and random spikes... and... dumb face!), but I'm proud to say I've begun to look past my prejudices. I never realized people felt that way about Mew, though - I would not consider him more overused than Eevee/Pikachu, ha. When I first read the story I thought it was a delightful little twist and was eager to find out what happened next, personally.
The other thing I wanted to talk about was when Char is thinking about Mew. In great detail. I just found it interesting, because it reminded me how fast and loose we often play with amnesia. So Char can't remember his name, but he can remember extensive backstory about Mew? It also made me think about psych class, where we has an in-depth discussion about amnesia. Selective amnesia, or something like that. I don't know where I'm going with this, I don't really have anything to say, it's just a random observation.
We get a reminder about Saura's unwillingness to evolve. Apparently he thinks he's as cool as Ash's Pikachu. I like it though, it helps further distinguish him from Char - and most other Pokemon in the Silver universe (like that? I made it up five seconds ago), for that matter. It'd be interesting to get the opinion of evolution from a Pokemon that can't evolve, like Girafarig, for example. And I'm rambling again.
So Char and Saura get lost and wind up in some giant meeting hall. This is another scene I like a lot. The way the flames all burst to life is vivid, effective imagery. Which reminds me, I wanted to mention how much I like your prose. It's fairly simple and easy to follow, which some might frown upon, but I personally really like. It makes it easy to draw people of all reading levels in, and then you can get them thinking with advanced themes. Especially since FFnet tends to skew younger.
The chapter ends with Char having a vision of Dialga. BTW, your love of Dialga and Gen IV shows your excellent taste. -waves Sinnoh banner-
It's an interesting development and yet another good hook. Gets the people GOING! You talk about your propensity for cliffhangers, but I think it makes sense given FFnet's format, and especially when your story is brand new and your trying to get more readers.
On the other hand, I'm considering making an ellipses counter. But after realizing you've acknowledged this tendency, that would probably come off as dickish, haha. Regardless, this was a nice little chapter. Oh, and thanks for the spoilers, ya big Miltank. :P
| darkkodemaster chapter 85 . 11/30
dude awesome chapter, cant wait for the next keep it up!
| Zion of Arcadia chapter 5 . 11/30
So I glanced over my previous reviews, which was a mistake. If I never use the word 'also' again, it will be too soon. Blergh.
I did as you suggested and pulled up the Deviantart version of the story. I scanned through the commentary of chapters I'd already read, and man, did that Farla blast remind me of when I was super active on this site. It was a big deal at the time for my group of friends, some weird little nerd war in the Pokemon community (in-depth dissecting of copyright laws may or may not have occurred). Ah, memories. I wonder if she's still around? But that would imply something other than indifference, so I retract my former question.
But I digress. Back to the story. Char and Saura discuss forming a Resistance Team once more, and once again something about the conversation bothers me. Then it hits me - Char has seen zero first hand signs of the Master's cruelty. Really, Scythe and Shander have been more ominous than any of the Master's absent soldiers. I suppose the argument could be made that this is a sign of Char's trust in Saura, but the audience also has never seen any sign of cruelty on the Master's part. Where is the destruction of Alderaan? Where are the Ra'Zac? We see this resistance but we still have seen nothing of the Master outside of Saura and Scythe talking about him. It's not good enough. We need to see something, to enforce his status as EVIL. Show me the money! At this point I'm beating a dead horse, but I really do think it's a flaw this early in the story, unless some insane plot twist is in the works. I also acknowledge that your commentary notes a basic outline in the beginning of the story that you flesh out as chapters progress. Therefore, I'm dropping it and moving on.
By the way, I was going to ding you for excessive exclamation points, and then realized you edited it in the FFnet version but not the DA version. Cheeky, boyo, very cheeky.
Next up we have a tour of the Gold Division. I find your comments about how making Scythe the leader of Team Remorse changed the course of the story to be fascinating. Scythe as a leader/mentor type figure is something I've basically ingrained into my subconscious, so trying to envision him a Grovyle-type rogue is almost beyond comprehension. That being said, I can definitely see roots of Grovyle in him. But I feel like beleaguered warrior types are always extremely popular for being both competent and sympathetic.
Can I mention I find your distaste of some the team names rather amusing, in light of your own brilliant naming conventions? Heh, I'm just teasing, I actually like the idea of simplistic nicknames - it showcases Pokemon mimicking human trends, but most not having the same sophisticated grasp due to their animal-like natures. I feel like I worded that wrong, but I think you get my point. I know you change this up later on (and your reasoning mainly has to do with calling the MC Char), but in my head, that's because those Pokemon better understand the idea behind a name.
So we get a tour of the Base. Let's see, we visit the infirmary, Kecleon's market, the kitchen/cafeteria, and end on the Dojo. We also need to have a talk about you continuously ending chapters on cliffhangers, because it means I have to read more and that is unacceptable. I need time to right my own stuff, you know!
Anyway, I really like Dr. Orde (does this mean Pokemon college exists?). This might also be influenced by the fact that I work in the medical field. I don't really remember him factoring into the story that much, something you confirm in your commentary. A crying shame, because Slowking also happens to be one of my favorite Pokemon. Although part of me feels like quirky medical person is almost becoming cliche at this point, if it isn't already. You're handling my health, please instill a little more confidence by acting competent.
We get a brief mention of Persian and the bank he/she runs. But the real star of the show is Kecleon, who runs a BLACK MARKET. Awesome. Pure awesomeness. I have no criticisms about this, it is perfection. We also get a cafeteria scene, which reminds me of Sky. Man, the repetition of eating every night should've frustrated me, but instead it builds this amazing camaraderie with the rest of the Guild members. One of my favorite things about Explorers, and something none of the other PMD games managed to invoke. I really miss the guild concept and wish they hadn't scrapped it (although going to 'school' in the new game is a similar idea).
And finally the dojo. I know what, exactly, Domo is, and I have a pretty good idea as to why you consider the end to be a mistake. But I'll sit tight until the next chapter to see if I'm right or not.
| Zion of Arcadia chapter 4 . 11/29
And thus the truth finally comes out. I still think Scythe could've handled it better. But no matter.
So we reach the main premise of Silver Resistance. A plucky rebellion facing a corrupt dictator. I've always thought of the Master as human. Or a human turned into a Pokemon, at the very least. Who can say?
This is another chapter heavy on exposition. I love the description of Gate and the base. It just makes the world building lover in me happy. Char's reaction was also a highlight of the chapter. It made me think of European dragons and their vast treasure hoards.
Oh yeah Char and Saura want to join and form a Resistance Team. The reasoning seems a little off, what with Saura enthusiastically enslaving himself to a cause. But the story needs to progress and there can be only be so much dithering before it begins to feel dragged out.
Aye, not a whole lot to say with this chapter. I think I'll take a break and continue in a day or so. I'm losing steam a bit.
| Zion of Arcadia chapter 3 . 11/29
So I've come to the conclusion that Char is male Bella. Nah just kidding. That face plant made me smile, though.
This was a very exposition heavy chapter. It helped me appreciate the usefulness of a protagonist with amnesia. Makes it a lot easier to world build and deftly avoids the "as you know" trope. So we delve into Saura's backstory, Char adjusting to life as a Pokemon, the mechanics of mystery dungeons, and the Master. Ah, the Master. More on him later.
Anyway, let's start off with Saura. Despite my somewhat negative impression of him at the start, in a short period of time he has quickly become a character I quite like. I feel like passionate is the best way to describe him. Although calling someone who possibly has a concussion a coward is a little unfair. Also, Charmander are great fighters? -adjusts nerd glasses- A BST of 309 suggests otherwise!
He also divulges information on humans, who apparently live far away from Ambera. How they know so much about humans, then, is somewhat unclear. Do humans visit from time to time? Are we going to meet other humans at some point? No matter, these are questions likely to be answered in time.
We see Char adjusting to his body. Instincts are a big theme in this story, as well as following them. Personally it's not a theme I like too much. We're rational human beings for a reason. Instinct isn't bad but it's also often wrong. But given how Pokemon trend toward being more animal-like, I can understand why it's a major emphasis. Char also strikes a deal with Saura, which is a nice little contrast between the two. Saura is all heart while Char appears to be more cerebral.
We also get a lot of PMD references as you explore some of the rogue-like mechanics. Glossing over the staircase the way you did - it's there, why not use it? - made me laugh. Such a weird little thing to keep in. Also the dizzy from hunger line gave me a rush of nostalgia. Char bopping that Spearow with an ember is something I vividly remember reading when I was younger. It's one of those moments that really stood out to me for some reason. The whole Spearow encounter, for that matter, is concise, clear, funny, and memorable. Just a well written action scene on the whole.
We get a brief explanation about the Master on top of everything else. Ugh, the Master. I'm going to be brutally honest, he is my least favorite part of this story. There's just so much nuance and then, behind it all, someone who is PURE EVIL. Even when I was younger he gave me pause. Just this generic bad guy that you know nothing about, and who you learn about second hand. His motivations often seem rooted in being EVIL for the sake of it, and that's the type of villain I've never really enjoyed. The Empire and Galbatorix all rolled up into one big bad. But then again, I'm interested to learn if there's more to him that you plan on exploring. Even just a little shade of grey would go a long way toward making him interesting. We shall see.
Meh, I'll get off my high horse. We end with Saura and Char meeting Scythe. Who, again, harbors hostility that can probably be explained away with exhaustion, but still just seems to be going about everything in ENTIRELY the wrong way. Again, it feels like artificial suspense for the sake of ending the chapter on a cliff hanger. To be fair, I am excited to keep reading, so in that respect you've succeeded.
| Zion of Arcadia chapter 2 . 11/29
Hey, it's chapter one. And thus we meet our protagonists.
So. We start off with a mysterious Sandslash and his partner, a Scyther named Scythe. We also learn about something called the Call. It appears to be this world's equivalent of the dimensional scream. The name isn't quite as epic, but it's certainly intriguing.
The concept of Watchers are also introduced. I remember being confused for a long time, as to whether or not they were feral Ghost Types, or ghost-like monsters. Re-reading this chapter, it seems far more clear to me now that they're Ghost Types. But maybe foresight is helping me out in that department. Regardless, it's an addition to the world that I quite like. Everything feels more dangerous, especially for weaker Pokemon.
Anyway. Onto Saura. I go back and forth on my opinion of his introduction. On the one hand, I understand what you're going for. A desperately emotional Bulbasaur who feels as though his life is about to go through a horrible change. On the other hand, Saura comes off as something of a little bitch. It's just so melodramatic (some of the words, like scream, just do not evoke the right emotions for me), I have a hard time taking it seriously. If I'm honest, this also ties into my feelings about the Master, which are very strong feelings. It seems so childish, when in reality Saura is faced with a grave choice. Maybe that's what you were going for, though, I dunno. I could never really place an age on Saura.
Next up, the first meeting between Saura and Char. This is something I clearly remember, even seven years later. The way Saura struggles to wake him up, the way Char reacts to his change and his amnesia, the bond that quickly forms between the two... you just, you got it. I was sucked in, further excited by the idea that humans and Pokemon do actually coexist in this world. Just a lovely little segment and my favorite part of the chapter.
Then some strange, menacing Pokemon show up and our heroes are forced to flee. Now it's a good cliffhanger and the closing dialogue is great, but I'm going to cheat a little. I already know Scythe and Sandslash are the ones following them (which I'll pretend I inferred from the opening bit), and their dialogue strikes me as intentionally manipulative. We're meant to see them as a threat, so you write them that way, but Scythe and Sandslash come off sounding so hostile. It just doesn't seem smart on Scythe's part. He's breaking into someone's place and talking about how they can't escape. I don't know, I just think it feels a little engineered. The only excuse is that they don't know how close they are to Char and are under a great deal of stress to find him. But that seems flimsy to me.
From a technical standpoint, I don't like the copious use of ellipses and capitalized words. I prefer the strength of the dialogue to convey emotions, and now I'm getting Order of the Phoenix flashbacks. Of course that's a stylistic preference and also very nitpicky. Also you confused Saura's gender pronouns once or twice, referring to him as an it after his gender if clarified. There was one other blatant grammar error that stuck out to me but honestly who gives a shit? It's a typo from a chapter written years and you clearly understand the basic rules of grammar. If you ever go back and edit the chapter those are a couple of things to look out for, but in the grand scheme of things it matters very little.
Onward we go. I'm quite enjoying writing these reviews, it's quite relaxing. Hope they help in some small way.
| Flyg0n chapter 12 . 11/29
This is hands down one of my favorite pieces of pokemon mystery dungeon on the site. I am only on chapter 12 but I am blown away.
I truly enjoy how despite this being in a sense, darker, since it deals with a war and all, it captures the essence and feel of a mystery dungeon game. This story brings back memories of my childhood, since I grew up on mystery dungeon games. I truly feel like another wonderful chapter has been added that both follows the original stories in a way, while still maintaining originality.
The characters are compelling and well written, and I already feel connected.
This chapter is my favorite I think, next to 'The Fire Within'. The Resistance Creed is amazing and beautiful and sad, and I love it. I have a thing for rhyming verse. :). I already feel mystified and sad reading it.
I cannot wait to read more.
| Zion of Arcadia chapter 1 . 11/29
So before I write anything, I figure I should make a couple things clear.
I've been around FFnet for a long time. I also took a pretty long break from the place. Now I'm back again. Meandering through the muck that is 80 percent of fanfiction (although I haven't lost my condescending nature, it appears) and I come across Silver Resistance. A story that captivated me when I was younger, helped me appreciate the games all the more, and made me dream of writing my own grand epic. And now here we are, a little over 7 years following the initial publication.
So I suppose this is my way of saying thank you. I'm going to go over each chapter and give my thoughts. Of course, a story so long in the work is obviously going to have discrepancies (I'm not sure if you've gone back and edited things, and how extensive it is if you have). I understand that, but I'm going to treat each chapter individually for the most part, because, if I'm honest and selfish, this is as much about me getting back into the swing of things as it is about contributing to your work.
Okay. The prologue. If I'm completely honest I'm not a fan. It's a callback to one of my least favorite parts of the game (interesting in theory but ultimately frustrating... I just want to pick my own pokemon) and blatantly flouts the show don't tell rule. Also, "choosing" your partner is a very gamey concept, and just seems odd in terms of narrative. The tendency to blend game mechanics into the narrative and lore is one I like, but I feel this is something that should've been scrapped.
My other issue is that we get a very detailed description of the MC's personality, but considering he has amnesia, how much is really going to shine through? It reminds me of the PMD games, where a large chunk of the player character's personality is him/her simply reacting to things or making observations. Good for explaining the world and dissecting the partner character, but it leaves you feeling flat... a blank slate. Which has become something of a negative term what with the rise of Bella Swan, but it isn't necessarily a bad thing. I guess my point is that the questions ultimately feel like they don't matter, although I suppose the hints about MC's past will come to light down the road.
Also, his soul is silver. Hey, that's in the title! It's extremely on the nose. But you know what? I loved it when I was younger and I love it now. It's awesome and my favorite part of the prologue. I can't even articulate why, exactly, something about it just gives me that feeling some of the heartwarming moments of Explorers managed to hit. Right in the feels, as the kids say. When you first began, this was meant to be an homage to the games. And this prologue manages to nail that feeling perfectly, so despite my nitpicking of a seven year old prologue, I'd say it's successful. It's a good hook that gets readers, especially PMD fans, eager to keep going.
Long Winded Reviews :P
P.S. Just to reiterate, thank you for pouring so much soul and effort into this story. It's very clearly a labor of love and I can't explain my level of appreciation for that fact. Thank you.
| luisgerardogarzaacosta chapter 1 . 11/27
this is the end scytherider?
| YuukixMitsuru chapter 85 . 11/19
A talonflame with that frozen flame would be nice and powerful, forget about stealth rocks.
| nightdragon0 chapter 85 . 11/17
Well it seems as though the full extent of Scythe's plan isn't out yet.
Besides that, seems like a lot of setting up for a new arc!
| AriSai chapter 85 . 11/12
It has been a ride, but sadly I've caught up with all of the chapters. D:
This is by far one of my favorite fanfics that I've read. It's extremely well written, the characters are all unique and interesting, the plot is complex to the point that its still comprehensible, and the story itself is just overall a great, great read.
It's unfortunate that I won't be able to pound out chapter after chapter anymore, but I will definitely be keeping an eye out for future updates of yours, ScytheRider. Really well done, I'm glad some of the guys at /r/MysteryDungeon told me about your story. Keep up the good work!
| Pockits chapter 85 . 11/10
Is this story... dead? I've been reading this for a while... and I hope it wasn't for nothing!
| Jaegothis chapter 85 . 11/5
I've read the entire story so far, and it's one of my favorites. I have a question, though. Do normal exploration teams exist withing the Master's control, and the resistance teams simply disguise themselves as those normal teams, or do the civilians support the resistance?
| Guest chapter 85 . 11/2
Recruit the thief, please? Isn't it standard requirement method? Defeat means friendship.
Also Saura. Dammit, I can't see this goes well.
I still can't see how Char was ever going to learn to read.