Reviews for In His Shoes
B00kFan chapter 19 . 3/1
Wow, this was great. I wad kind of going Zuko would end up with Toph though. But you did a great job, and I really enjoyed reading this. It cracked me up, and made me grown with second hand embarrassment. I've never seen a story like this before. I hope you're proud.

P.S. Thanks so much for only four hours of sleep I'm getting tonight. I need that. (Note sarcasm.)
Guest chapter 19 . 2/18
The bomb diggity yo!
Good job
lizyeh2000 chapter 19 . 2/7
Loved your story , now favourited!
Tonsoffandoms chapter 19 . 12/19/2016
Where do I even start? The plot? Well, the plot was genius. The whole Freaky Friday idea was fun, but this took on a much serious tone. It kinda reminds me of a folktale. Hmm, what next? The characters? Well, I love how you showed how similar Sokka and Zuko were. I didn't even know that they were that similar! The characters blossomed beautifully in a patch of character development, and I was excited to see how much both of them had matured. Not to mention the boys' interactions with other characters. Sokka and Mai? Never would've guessed. And I think you did the right thing in showing how Zuko reacted to having a good sister instead of a psychopath. Toph and Iroh were, in my opinion, spot on, and the characteristics that Zuko noticed about Aang when he first started living with the Gaang, I think, really spurred their inevitable friendship. I have so many choppy thoughts that I can't seem to make them connect into a coherent paragraph, but just know that, as an avid fanfiction-reader, I found your idea and all of it's combined elements ( ;-) ) to be truly unique.
Ganheim chapter 2 . 12/6/2016
Chapter 10
about why your ship is better than others?
[Of course. Mine is clearly the best because it has missile launchers]

thought he would never see his sister again
[I’d think he’d be okay with that]

How did you—"

in an abject sort
[abstract. I don’t think despair entered that line of thought]

World." he said

so many thing

General Iroh; Azula

ice; she would

on her waterskin
[They should’ve taken that away. He could look at a swirl of water she absently bends back and forth in the air or on the floor]

Women like scars
[This is a true to Sokka joke, but it isn’t true to Zuko and I’m surprised she doesn’t point out how like Sokka it is]

full body shutter

I will never join you
[Search your feelings, Sokka, you know it to be true!]

fine features; something

Sokka becomes the straight-man
[Even Abbot and Costello had to switch off every once in a while]

Chapter 11
hands out; pointed

Sokka's decisive fire blast
[All the setup seemed to pit everything against Azula. And here I was waiting for her to whip out more dangerous tricks as a result of more odds against her]

efficient arcs; slapping
like that; if he
[, if]
fire met; two

she had caught him in his arms
[her? Or did Sokka in Zuko’s body reach Aang?]

it did: King

opulent chair; a
[, a]

chair that seemed to big
[1: too. 2: this made me think of the scene in Dynasty Warriors 6 when Sima Yi sits down on the emperor’s throne, his son asks him what he thinks, and Yi’s response is “It’s a bit stiff”]

Chapter 12
[One thing I want to mention is that you’ve been using “had” a lot when it’s not needed, especially in action sequences. The verb is already past tense, you don’t need had. There’s a lot in this chapter too, but I’m not going to point them all out. Same with the semicolons – I’ve pointed out a lot, but gave my stance by now]

… tryin to

started for them a fire
[started a fire for them]

tiny concussive circles

rejection, buthe
[but he]

revealing a emerald

That's what the

poking at his food
[their – since you refer to he AND Mai]

hill much less

he had seen a wide-scale navel disaster before
[Another collection of horrifying events Zuko lived through]

what he would do the Dai
[do to]

Chapter 13
years before married
[before he]

games and pretend

He wasn't going to become a master in a few days, but having Zuko's muscle memory and Sokka's own innate talent went a long way
[Nice acknowledgement of both muscle memory (again) and the fact that Sokka lacks the direct knowledge]

Mai's eyebrow itched up higher

They would rest for half-an-hour and then begin again
[From hiking in Boy Scouts I remember that breaks were timed for less than 5 minutes (too short a time for the body’s metabolism and therefore energy to shift) or more than 30 minutes - often nearly an hour, long enough for bruises from missed steps to form into diagnosable forms, and muscle fibers to release lactic acid and that to break down so it wouldn’t cause injury]

imperceptible shake
[Not so imperceptible if Hakoda can see it]

Chapter 14
shadow felt like it was lurking Dai Li agent
[like a lurking]

Something quality in

on him.
Monkey feathers
[What a strange and world-appropriate curse]

The muscle's in

be a plum-apple
[It was an apple-plum before]

Chapter 15
after Zuko's had

he was... well.
[Was another ellipsis supposed to follow? Otherwise, ‘well’ doesn’t seem to fit]

"You aren't asking

as Hakoda did
[Another ellipsis, or was there supposed to be more sentence?]

Chapter 16
seemed like ever

everyone thinksI
[That irritating spacing problem is still here. Does checking it in QuickEdit before final posting help? Maybe copying the document into a previously uploaded document and then posting from that? I’m never entirely sure how FFnet’s screwy system works]

the ex0firebender

Normal boyfriend's

You didn't."
[If this is a statement I’d expect a deadpan description, but I sense from the context it should be a question]

Chapter 17
Zuko eyes widened

back by sunup
[sun up]

bonfire would have been visible
[I thought it was embers]

commented off handily

pressing in vein against

Chapter 18
shrugged an answer
[in answer?]

glance at at Sokka

I wasn't really even angry at him this time
[Seemed like one of those ‘angry at myself’ battles]

we sorta died twice
[Once, I would say. Just…delayed a couple months]

Maybe for Sokka and Zuko, it didn't matter anymore
[Interesting point]

Chapter 19
both come and done

it's walls had

two come in."

A little bit of passive sentence construction in the end, and more semicolons than needed, but the characterization, banter, and plot were excellent. Your use of concrete descriptions and showing was pretty good (a little lighter near the end, but still good).
Ganheim chapter 1 . 12/6/2016
artic rose-thorn brew
[Rose tea uses petals (maybe leaves if this world is particularly exotic) to make teas]

then scooped up the dropped sword
[You never mention him dropping the crowbar, and it becomes important later]

Suddenly, they were on equal footing
[I’d think Sokka, having half-disarmed Zuko, would have the advantage]

down their weapon

only had his snowy wastelands to hack at
[And possibly years traveling with the Avatar to learn evasion and various martial schools of armed attack and defense. And that crowbar]

"Hey!" Sokka pointed at the still bowing prince, "he started it!"
[This fits _so_ well with the series]

one who have ignored
[Normally I ignore small weaknesses in phrasing in dialog (rules are more fuzzy there), but here I think the avoid “had/has/were/have verb” rule muddles the sentence]

directing the apology at (just
[at her?]

watched his nephew died a murderer
[die…though I think ‘murderer’ is a little harsh. Homicide without Prejudice, surely]

Chapter 2
Zuko looked tanned
[at? over?]

getting to his feet, leant
[lending, to maintain verb tense]

"You shouldn't be
[Who said this? Even the musings later aren’t clear attributions. Is this “sokka” or Toph?]

hole out his back
[Normally stomach motions when hungry are upwards or forwards]

their kids; just

It was would be

He had exercise
[had to]

this once before after
[I understand, but the phrasing is confusing. Just ‘once after’ would work]

letting anyone help
[someone help]

different then the

ever took; laying
[. Laying]

The shutters were thrown open
[The passive makes me cringe. “He threw open the shutters” looks so much better to me]

He wanted this body
[his body]

They had too

Chapter 3
were no mans land; except
[1: man’s 2: that semicolon doesn’t look right there]

had restraining hand on

for a weakspot
[weak spot]

in the enemies' body

loaf of breed

began to straiten

they had been respect

and fittling with

you gotta take a look at this!"
"I can't
[Your character interaction is hilarious. I’m flashing back to “The poster’s upside down, isn’t it?”]

sheath covered in so much dust that his fingerprints left vivid marks in the cracked leather
[Excellent use of concrete details. This is the show, don’t tell I keep telling other writers about]

the stiff upright way in which he stood, told her that he wouldn't welcome it
[Great way of depicting emotions with observable details]


reminded the hard General
[of the?]

Was firebending!Sokka win or fail
[I normally associate magic with the soul than body, but Avatar mussed all that up for me and you worked it well. The only mix that would be weirder would be Quantum Leap (which has far fewer crossovers than I’d figure)]

Chapter 4
but Sokka's was

curves in jut the

not as one as hard
[not one as]

around, for emphasize

Chapter 5
Was he let out
[Obviously, but I think you mean WHY]

stand together; brother and sister
[I recommend avoiding semicolons even in technical writing. In narrative they’re never necessary (here the following segment is a fragment, so it needs a comma)]

and horrible; he had
[. He]

a master lair

before rediscovering the Avatar
[I would think ‘discovering’, as for him it was the first time the avatar was seen since the previous one died]

survival instant, Zuko

It had every bit
[It took]

themselves; Sokka could
[, Sokka]

The Dai Li agent looked out
[He’s cautious? At first I thought you meant he woke and returned to wariness and Sokka knew it, but by the context I think you meant ‘out of it’ or something more explicitly unconscious]

he himself being lifted
[felt himself]

returned the flame to the torch
[Subtle but interesting character development here]

Smellerbee wanted to Jet back
[to get? Otherwise I think you miscapitalized a word that shouldn’t be used in a preindustrial world]

Katara coxed Jet

in him; disgust
[Either use a full colon or separate the sentences]

Zuko thought he had done it
[Zuko or Sokka? You gave a physical description of Zuko and a mannerism of Sokka, which in this story indicates Sokka. If it’s supposed to be Zuko with the others, that’s unclear and we get no mention of them]

Sokka's muscles and tendons didn't have the experience
[I like how you make use of muscle memory theory]

it out; that he

did not; one palm

General Iroh was standing
[Interesting, but ‘stood’ would be more active and concise]

bison? it locked
[Keep it]

apartment?I go
[Shall I]

he risked a chance behind

called him; Long

The gang were running

Chapter 6
sort of Palace
[if it’s “some sort of”, it’s not a proper noun]

Eyes staring straight ahead, Zuko stepped onto the dark marble palace floor
[I know you’re already working on a divergence, but the implication of a dream and marble floor – the same way persona 3 and 4 kinda started – made me laugh. An eerie laugh]

so much that was in balance
[so much hung in the balance]

and if he okay
[he was]

Sokka also of a mustache
[also had a]

But when he punched
[You use ‘but’ later and it fits better there, so I’d start “He punched”]

Sokka stood up
[Zuko, though it is in Sokka’s body, you’ve been consistent about that and that’s done a lot to maintain clarity so far]

doubt about it; he
[, he]

reminding him of something happy and painful

inked drawing scattered

Chapter 7
arm did ach

she was lost to him as well
[Don’t know why, the implication I got was Zuko took off after Aang ASAP so she might not have an accurate memory of ‘him’ as anything other than a firebender]

all good places
[all the]

this was a girl — for whatever reason — also thought he could juggle
[this girl? I’m a little confused about the intended implication]

stripped purple and

for many centenaries
[centuries? Unless it’s only for the really old folks]

sense of pride; something

that again." said Zuko
[When transitioning to a speech tag, the period is replaced by a comma]

Besides, didn't have
[he didn’t]

did nothing at all for him now
[Meditative practices might work differently in a different body, but they’d still have a controlling effect]

by a open

"I know." He couldn't look at her. "I'm sorry."
"Maybe if I
[Was there supposed to be a scene separator here?]

explosion would very well injure as well
[Repetition. “explosion would injure as well” sounds like the same idea]

it was not imperious demand of Zuko
[not an]

in the process; I
[, I]

everything; his throne
[. His]

in; and sealing

Chapter 8
Zombie's are bodies

out, a almost comical blank
[I was about to say ‘an’, but I think the almost detracts from the concise humour]

his memory; her
[, her]

sharp, medicinal smell
[Many tellings I’ll let go, but ‘medicinal’ varies so much it makes me more instead of less confused. Bitter? Astringent? Sweet? Flowery?]

cloying lamp; they
[. They]

He was telling the truth
[Toph can’t be the ONLY person to practice lie detection, and if anybody would have taken that skill and started to turn it into a science it would be the Dai Lee. The even breathing, steady heartbeat, or regular perspiration would all be a sign of truthfulness]

front of him; tired
[. She was tired]

know if you truly
[, if]

being lied too.

"Your right, Aang

It took a force of willpower
[This works, but I expected “took every ounce of”]

this side of conscientious
[I think he’s already a moral person. “conscious”]

sit and thing in

with the back of his head

He, would only
[Comma interrupts a contiguous thought]

Chapter 9
much more; his heartbeat
[While I recommend minimizing colons, I think one fits here]

and, now you're
[comma interrupts contiguous thought]

Toph jaw clenched

and Toph bend down

He didn't think that he would ever have anything in common with the Avatar's friends, much less a blind earthbender
[This is a comparison I drew early on (and was disappointed they didn’t touch on in his episode with Toph), but you handled it great]

to the fire; drawing

what to expect; chastisement

It has been a long time since you last burned your bed
[Wait, is this now the equivalent of wetting the bed? That makes sense on a few levels]

he had the feeling that Zuko wouldn't either
[He’s probably got a reflex of shrinking away from physical contact]

Sokka's eyes needing no adjustment
[little, I think. There’s a reason marines wore eyepatches in the age of sail]

at the main palace room
[Wouldn’t she be able to report to somebody sooner, now that they’re higher-ranking in terms of cooperation they can expect?]

she called Kata that
[I don’t think it’s capitalized]

used to do; the graceful
[The transition here seems weird, and the semicolon is only part of it]

a bored expression on
[bored disapproval, I think. She doesn’t emote much, but it’s there. Granted, Sokka might not be perceptive enough to pick it all up]

aside from his confident step
[And the slightly more ornate armour he noticed at first glance]

he gestured towards the other man then turned to face Zuko directly
[man who turned? I’m not sure who’s doing what here]

or given away too much emotion
[The rest is good, but you’re head-jumping and giving us her thoughts here]

made to look
[look at]

do this; if he was
[, if]

She smiled to self
Wahboop chapter 19 . 11/16/2016
That was really well written. I really like how you handled all the different events and described how different each boys' reactions would be to them. Really, a job well done!
Anonymous chapter 8 . 11/13/2016
Aw... I was hoping Zuko would either lose his memory or think he was really Soka after being brainwashed. Would have been a really interesting turn of events.
Fireshared chapter 19 . 10/19/2016
Well damn, that was a really good read! Thank you :D
Invader Cole chapter 19 . 10/16/2016
I loved reading this.
Invader Cole chapter 13 . 10/16/2016
It's getting a little hard to tell who's supposed to be Zuko and who's supposed to be Sokka. Not saying it like that's a bad thing. It's a compliment.
Ruby of Raven chapter 19 . 10/7/2016
Yes! XD This was the best body switching doc I've read! Good job with it!
hoshi26 chapter 19 . 9/18/2016
I just adored this. A year or two back someone on tumblr rec'ed this and it's been sitting in my "to read" folder ever since. I'm so glad I finally got around to reading it. It's extra exciting because even though I was in the fandom back when the show first started this is the first proper fic I've read start to end. I'm so glad it was this one, it was so good.
Eaglet98 chapter 13 . 8/5/2016
Guest chapter 19 . 7/28/2016
I honestly love you as an author, and adore your avatar fics. You are bringing the darker side to the series that was unable to be expressed in the TV show. Your analysis of zuko and sokka in this fic is incredible and the idea orignal. I love your another brother au, and how it looked at what may of happened if zuko mother hadn't left. It gave me a need to read more hurt! zuko adopted by the water tribe fics but could find none that didn't make me cringe within the first paragraph. I beg you to write more avatar fics, and although theses were written in 2010ish and its is currently 2016 I will hold hope.
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