|Reviews for Matriarch The Tales Of Piper Halliwell|
| wiccawhitewitchsmalltownguy chapter 8 . 7/17/2012
oh please oh please uplode some more chapters i love reading this fanfic about piper being the next matriarch of the warren line it a great story line too read about my faveorite chapters were here now the words of the witches and cruel possession those are my favoerite chapter will u please please uplode another chapter for us charmed fans thank u
| thefanfictioner21 chapter 1 . 7/17/2012
That's great! I'm in love with this fic.
| Starscape91 chapter 8 . 12/15/2011
Great story! I can't wait to read more!
| Polgara218 chapter 8 . 9/12/2010
Your story is really well written. You've done an amazing job with it and I hope you continue. Update soon!
| BubblyAmi ships DoctorRiver chapter 4 . 7/27/2010
I love this story!
| TVCrazed chapter 8 . 3/14/2010
Okay. I don't even know what to say except I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS. I LOVED PIPER so this was like the best thing ever. Its really well written and everything. I can definitely visualize everything that is happening and I think that all of the characters are written very well.
Oh and also I got into this story but searching around on youtube for something to watch and I stumbled upon the matriarch videos. I LOVE the vids too. I really look forward to them and I really like them. I love that they give a lil preview to whats coming up.
KEEP IT UP.
REALLY CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER.
PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ UPDATE SOON.
| CharmedPhoenix chapter 8 . 3/11/2010
Hi, I noticed I've been writing this for a long time.. and it's really great, so I wonder how many chapters will you write in total?
| sunsetdreamer chapter 6 . 2/23/2010
On the last (and only) forum I was a part of, the site was really only used to upload the stories… all the comments and reviews and such tended to go on pretty much solely on the forum between the members, so I wasn’t sure whether that was the case here, or if you/everyone else preferred to be reviewed on both. With that in mind, I figured I would leave a review for my favourite chapter, and kind of dapple in both worlds :).
It takes a bit of getting used to, adjusting to the alternate world Piper finds herself in, and it’s a kind of cool thing, because your own hesitation and slight confusion (as the reader) as you struggle to come to terms with all the differences in both character behaviour and development, mirrors Piper’s own struggle within the story. Fun times.
The scene between Phoebe and Cole was another one of my favourites. In his initial seasons, Cole was smart, and conflicted, and complicated, and a lot of the fifth season saddened me, because he really kind of lost it. I love that here, you created a sane version of Cole, but in his slight hesitations you still see glimpses of this demon/human who continues to struggle with keeping a balance. And the line, “I’d do anything for you; I thought you’d know that by now.” combined with the way it was delivered was lovely. It was “Seven Year Witch” Cole; the demon helping Good, while resigned to the knowledge that he’s probably never going to find redemption.
Going back to the altar in order to receive their powers was a nice touch, and really served to bring home the image of the girls returning to their magical roots. And then, of course, there’s the classic vanquish, and Piper’s return to her own life. The image of Piper, breaking down in the middle of the foyer on the floor, and Leo trying to console her, was so sad and so beautiful. I’m so pumped for Chapter 9!
| AstralEmpathy chapter 2 . 2/10/2010
This Chapter was Well planned out. I love the begining you had a big storm, and also how the storm planned out with billie and piper and piper not wanting to talk to billie, this reminds me of the begining of charmed the very first eppy where prue was mad at phoebe for leaving to new york, just the situtation between billie and piper
I also enjoyed how you made it seem their lives to be normal but yet piper was paranoid when she really wasnt:) Great Job!
I have not read the witchlighter series yet and i plan on to and i wonder if paige moving to boston is an lead off to the witchlighter?
I really enjoyed it, it gave me a warm feeling like when i was little when i first started watching charmed
I wonder what the demon is going to be planning on threw out the series and what he is?
Once i finish this series i plan on reading witchlighter next:) you guys have me hooked!
| Keldarus chapter 8 . 1/31/2010
Hey wown this is an amazing story. Piper is my favorite character and I think you have done a fantastic job! I was "Zach" that reviewed you Charmed Trinity story recently. You are one of my fav authors on here :)
You inspired me to write a fanfiction of my own, about the life of Grams and Patty, if you get a chance let me know what you think :)
Cant wait for more!
| Guest chapter 8 . 1/23/2010
Matriarch Chapter 8 Review.
Rory, I am truly sorry it took this long to get a review out of me. I have been so busy lately and I haven't been as good of a Shadow taler as I'd like to be.
Anyway, here's my review. I know I said I'd give a general opinion on the chapter, but whatever. I'll review regularly
- The first part of the chapter was good. Nicely written, a general nice introduction. I like how Piper feels like she has to prove herself to the elders.
- Piper finding the body was a pretty strange scene; strange in a good way though. It was nicely written and I like this bit: [i]his bright green eyes frozen open, exhibiting the terror he must have felt at the moment of his untimely demise[/i]
- "I don't want my children coming home as little grease monkeys." Lmao. :P
- Ah. Billie returns, I was expecting this after the thread you started.
- "before grabbing hold of his brother and calling upon his orbing ability" Yeah, it's good that you expressed how Wyatt was feeling as well. I mean, Billie hurt him too.
- The conversation between Billie and Piper was very moving. Nice job.
- I can't even begin to explain how much I love Dylan! And picturing her as Bush makes her seem even darker and being informed of her having a dark past makes me love her even more. I can't wait to learn more.
- [quote]"You mean that stuff that tastes like ass and in return makes me feel like ass?" Dylan asked in a mock tone. "Yes, unfortunately."[/quote] Lmao.
- Ah, so Spirit killers can infect whitelighters too? That's new, and interesting.
- I actually really liked Aubrey's exit from the bridge. It was... awesome! How she jumped off and was surrounded in orbs. It's just so epic! :) Good job.
- Christy's return was a well described, dramatic scene. I applaud you on that.
- One thing that's annoying me is how everyone seems to be running their hands through their hair. Constantly.
- Wow. Aubrey actually accepted being a darklighter, I can just imagine how hot Bell would look with black hair and leather. And the description of her changing was great, kinda reminded me of Willow in Buffy.
- "He seemed familiar to her, almost like she had seen him before, maybe in a dream or..." Ah yes. I forgot that she tecnically never met him.
- I thought that Leo had died! That would have made things WAY more intense, but a bit less family-ish. So yeah, she is the Matriarch of her FAMILY, so good call.
- ""I'm not sure," Piper replied. "But I'm sure as hell going to find out." Oh. The plot thickens.
Okay, overall it was a great chapter. My favourite so far, it was original, fresh and damn well written. I still think of the Jumping-off-bridge scene and the becoming-evil one. :P Really great job, I will stay tuned for chapter 9. :)
| atlan2007 chapter 8 . 10/25/2009
LOL at Wyatt's reaction to Billy.
Dylan's sordid past, hm.
A Spirit Killer is back good.
Christie the bad seed, heh!
"Only a truly evil person would kill their own sister." Barbas should sue Bacarra for stealing his lines! LOL
| Nerf chapter 8 . 10/18/2009
It's good to see Piper at P3. I can't remember right now how much you have had her be there, but I think you have actually had her there quite a bit. It's good to see you keeping a focus on that, allowing us to remember that she does have another job other than just the witch one (and being a mom). The show kind of frequently forgot about the club in the later years, which is understandable. It's hard to keep coming up with things to do with it, have it be necessary to the plot, and in was usually cast aside as they needed to focus on the rest of the plot. I myself have been having this problem, realizing that I haven't dealt with the club at all in my episodes and even tried to force it into the 4th episode, but realized it was wrong to force it in and took away from the story. My point is that you have successfully kept the club as part of her life and it doesn't seem forced at all, especially with the addition of Charlie.
About Charlie, she doesn't contribute much here, but that's my fault. ;) As you know, my opinion of Charlie has been... almost non-existent, as she has not done much of an impression on me as a character. But with the cut scenes from this chapter, she really started to show me what she could do and who she was. I'll add more to that when the time comes, but I'm really excited for her story that was cut from this chapter to appear later.
I find it slightly odd for an Elder to just orb down and say "Yo! I gots a mission for you, girl!" Not that he said it like that. :) And of course that's how it was done during the later years of the show, and I don't know how one would get around it, as Leo isn't a WL that can bring news and Paige... ah, who knows what she is. One day she's a WL, the next day she's not. Whatever. Although, Noah did say Paige has more important things to do. Hmm. What's going on with her? Wonder if we'll find out later and if it will come into play in the story. Maybe it would have made more sense for a Whitelighter to bring the news. A messenger chosen by the Elders, as it doesn't seem important enough for an Elder to make the trip. But maybe it is. Maybe Aubrey and her downfall is much more important than it seems. Maybe Noah also came himself because it deals with Piper's destiny as the Matriarch. One quick question: I don't believe so, but have we met Noah before? Meaning, did we see him on the show before?
I love the scene at the apartment. I don't think I made any modifications during my edit. It was just very well written, especially when she finds the body. I know this takes place during the day, but I imagine this scene happening at night in my head. It just seems like a night time scene. Which I'm just saying, no point intended. Anyway, I wonder who killed him. He was a witch, so it could have been any random demon. But I wonder if there is something more to his death. I don't think I read anything in the chapter about Bacarra having anything to do with it. Especially since he didn't found out about Aubrey until later. So neither did the Spirit Killer, so he couldn't have done it. Plus it was done with an energy ball, so it couldn't have been him. Again, wonder if the killer will be brought up later. We'll be seeing Aubrey again, I'm sure, so maybe it will come up. One note, Piper reported the murder, but she also touched the body. Hope she didn't leave any skin cells. :)
Again, I like how you write Leo. He doesn't annoy the crap out of me when you write him like he did on the show. Good work. :) And dang Rhod! I read his review and he mentioned Trisha might be a demon. I didn't even think of that before. Now I'm wondering. Did you mention her casually here so that later when she turns out to be an evil hag that wants to cook Piper's kids and eat them we'll be all "GASPO!" and "We should have known!" Or is it just an addition to the story, their world, having it seem more real? Or was that your original intent, but now we have put the demon hag idea in your head and you are now cackling with glee at the prospect of doing such a story? ... Either way, tis cool. :)
The Billie and Piper talk. I had a lot of trouble with this scene when I first read it, but I didn't really mention it to you because I thought it might just be me and I didn't have any suggestions of how to make it better. On one hand I think that it drags and is just way too much, "Im sorry" "No, I'm sorry." But I understand how hard it is to write a scene like that, as I have and I didn't like what I wrote. Really, you just want to get through with it so you can move on to more important matters. But still, as a scene it's just kind of... blah blah blah. But you know, looking at the chapter as a whole, I think it might work. Because that's what the characters wanted at the time. They just wanted to get through it, get it done. Apologize and start to move on. So as for what comes later, maybe the scene works better now. I'll also discuss them rushing things more later in this review.
I do have to say, I think you used the term "admitted" way too much. I forgot to mention to you before, but when writing, yes of course you want to use more than "Blah blah," Piper said, as for the writer that gets way too redundant. I certainly know that. But as a reader, one tends to skip over the "said" part. I know that most of the time when I'm reading a book, my eyes and mind just kind of skip over that word. I don't really see it. But when you use other words in place of that, like "Billie admitted" that draws the eye. It's not a bad thing at all, as it gives variety and can get across different intonations and such depending on the word. However, when you use one word like that too much in one scene, or too many words other than "said" in one scene, it draws the eye too much and actually becomes distracting. This is what happened in your scene. I kept seeing the word "admitted" and it distracted me and broke up the flow of the scene. So this is just a note to keep an eye on things like that.
Grr... even with us both going over this there are still a couple typos. I hate typos and I'm mad at myself that I missed them.
Anyway. I like the introduction of Suriod. Word is getting around that Bacarra is becoming the big bad around town, so I guess Suriod wants an ally instead of an enemy. I think that neither of them actually trusts one another and that each of them might have something up their sleeve... but that makes it fun. :) I think I have said before, but you write Bacarra very well. He's very suave and cunning, which you portray perfectly. Such a good choice for a big bad.
Dylan, Dylan, Dylan. Such an interesting and intriguing character she has come to be. When you first introduced her... I didn't like her. Random demon, kind of stupid, bad dialogue, quick vanquish. But since then you have played her as a much more interesting character. We still don't know what she is all about, why Davon brought her back, why Bacarra needs her and has been hiding her. Bit by bit you reveal a little more, but still everything is shrouded in mystery. This chapter, even though she only had one scene, revealed a lot. A last name, which not many demons have, some kind of incident in her past. Something about her powers that Bacarra needs. I can't wait to find out what it's all about. ;D
The Spirit Killer. I'm so happy that you had one in this chapter. Charmed had introduced the idea that there are several different kinds of dark lighters, but after while they were all the same. I think the last one that was different was in "Sam I Am." But it's nice to see you remember and bring in that different type again. I find it very interesting that Bacarra can absorb the DL's powers, but only for a limited time. Why is that? Warlocks have absorbed powers from demons before (as we saw in "Muse to My Ears" along with the warlock like athames in "Witch Wars."). Or is it that DLs are different? I don't think a Warlock has ever stolen a DL's powers before. Eames got a DL's crossbow, but just the crossbow, not the powers. But he did absorb a WL's powers and it seems like he would have kept those. Is there more to this, or is it just something fun you wanted to do, but also keep from Bacarra having that power full time, as that would be a problem for later stories, I think. Just wondering, as my mind runs rampant with theories with the tiniest things. :)
Next up, a hugely interesting thing you had Leo mention. WLs can fall off the path and become DLs, as we know. But DLs can also become WLs? Now that is a cool idea. Sure, we've had demons that turn to the side of good, but a Darklighter... the thought had never even occurred to me. I've always thought they were just... more inherently evil. But it's such a cool thought that there are some WLs that were previously DLs. I hope this comes up again in your series, as I would like to see that.
I think I told you this before, but Leo is just as he should be. He plays quite the part in this chapter, having important info that works perfectly with who he used to be. But his most important role is one of support. Being there for Piper and letting her know she has the ability to do this. That's the Leo we all loved, before he was the guy that just took care of the boys and went and got the milk. You have written him into this series seamlessly. The show didn't seem to know what to do with him as a mortal, but you are doing great. He has a job, he's a good father, and he's there for support and any help he can provide with the magical stuff. As for myself, I have found it hard to include Leo in stories without pushing him out of scenes and just have him be off taking care of the kids. You don't force him in, and he's not "just there", he has an important role, even if it's not a big role. Just... good job, Rory. :)
Okay, that's all I could fit on here, the rest is at Shadow Tales. Heh.
| TheFifthCharmedOne chapter 8 . 10/17/2009
I really can't wait to read more, so please update as soon as possible!
| lizardmomma chapter 8 . 10/13/2009
Welcome back, Ihope you are healing from hte operation. I wonder if Piper will relaize that warlock is the one that almost succeeded at killing the charmed ones...can't wait to see. Great job.