Reviews for Nel'Zya Falling in Time
keisan chapter 1 . 9/14/2014
I loved this. Mirai Trunks/Goten fics are indeed rare. I would have liked to see a present time Trunks showing more outrage when Goten kissed Goten... He's never liked sharing.
Kitsune1818 chapter 1 . 4/12/2012
Have an interesting plot, but its hard to read, make space between paragraphs
JuMiKu chapter 1 . 12/22/2010
A great story, but to be perfectly honest the ending is unintentionally hilarious.

I cannot help but imagine the look on everybody's faces and what would happen a few moments later.
DevilsNvrCry chapter 1 . 12/15/2010
It is a shame that and Goten pair is so rare, and this story is one that I simply enjoyed alot. It's quite a shame that this story only has 9 reviews since it's written so well. And with a good pairing...Thank you for posting it
dragonfly91 chapter 1 . 10/21/2009
this was good i liked it.
OhMyGodWhyDidIWriteThis chapter 1 . 10/6/2009
Utterly fantastic. You totally nailed the fairy-tale setting and the way you described everything was beautiful.
chibikuro rose-sama chapter 1 . 9/8/2008
while i do like it, i think it would be a bit better if there were more spaces. that way it would be easier to read. i really like it.
Jack V. Briefs chapter 1 . 8/2/2008
What a fantastic story. This was truly a pleasure to read. I am a fan of the antiquated tone - it really sweeps the reader away and allows them the chance to experience along with the characters whatever it is that they are going through. There are a few errors within the story, but those are a quick fix. On the whole, the story is interesting, attention-grabbing, well written, and very enjoyable. It reminded me a bit of the Time Traveler's daughter - ever read? Some of your descriptions are incredible; I like the paragraph where Torankusu is thinking about how it is his own doing that Goten came to be. I hadn't considered that consciously prior to now. I applaud your writing and look forward to reading more! _
El chapter 1 . 7/28/2008
I think it's nice, sweet and a bit fluffy. I like it.
Crecy chapter 1 . 7/15/2008
Wow. I really enjoyed this story! It was so cute. Poor Trunks. A little jealous, huh? But Torankusu truly deserves some love. .
niiro-yuuyake chapter 1 . 6/21/2008
Very nice, very nice. As you said, the pairing is so rarely done, it's SO sad. They are one of the best around. But I think you've caught them well. Great work.

I enjoyed that very much. Do think of writing more of the coupling. They don't get enough love, they really don't.

On a different note, how did you manage to get Hiragana in there? Whenever I post anything, FF takes out even asterisks! And a question, if you don't mind, what's it say? I know the first two hiragana are 'O' and 'Wa', but 'ri' doesn't look like that, does it? Owari is end, right?

Anyhow that was off topic(and I mean no offense by it), but great fic. I would like more of the pairing as well. You should check out the fic "More Than One", I forgot the author(ess)'s name. But it is MiraiGoten, I think. It's very nicely written. You have your jealous Trunks, your understanding Mirai, and of course, the very wonderful innocent stuck-in-the-middle Goten.

Again, I really enjoyed this! Great work!
fullwingedpen chapter 1 . 6/13/2008
Lovely fic, I'll be reading whatever you write next, specially Goten-Trunks get togethers. Mirai makes a better couple with Goten. I wasn't sure about Goten's age in one of the early paragraphs, but the rest where great.
Oriminally chapter 1 . 6/9/2008
Wonderful and flawless as usual~

I loved how you added Mirai into the mix!

I personally like Mirai better than his alternate,

anyway to answer your question... I think you should do it in a different POV, you often write in Goten's POV and I'd like to hear it from ALL sides of those story.

Not saying that it would work well in this case...

*hm*, this is tough, I'm not sure...

I'll ponder some more!