Reviews for Jacob's Lament
karlee chapter 1 . 3/22/2013
Damm bella is a bitch, she should see this so easily :(
Alexa Skywalker chapter 1 . 12/22/2012
Aw, I love this! Poor jakey!
angel lee wolf chapter 1 . 7/10/2012
i love this right on with the story and all.
angel lee wolf
RainOnMyParadeBitch chapter 1 . 8/15/2011
Oh my god.

An invitation sent by mail,

In my coffin, the last nail.

Marry me?
BakerStreetIsLastRefugeOfHope chapter 1 . 6/3/2011
A great poem fic. Very well written.
Solemn Vocation chapter 1 . 4/24/2010
This is amazing. You voice my opinions on all of it, and I love the language you use. 10 of 10.
Lady Skyra chapter 1 . 4/5/2010

Weekends chapter 1 . 12/28/2009
Aw this is really cute :)

Keep up the good work. I want to read more of your work.
ilovetwilight1997 chapter 1 . 12/10/2009
cool i love jacob
bunbun454 chapter 1 . 12/5/2009
that was kool loved it! GO TEAM JACOB!
Mrs Black 84 chapter 1 . 12/1/2009
OMG this totally sounded like it came from Jacobs heart. I absolutely loved this poem it made me tear up a bit because I felt the pain Jacob felt. Thanks for such a beautiful heartfelt poem
Gibbersnap chapter 1 . 11/28/2009
As one who decidedly dislikes Twilight in most of its forms, I have a hard time liking its fanfiction. However, I'd say this poem was well thought-out, and a clear summary of the relationship between Bella and Jacob (at the very least, of his infatuation). The rhymes were clever and the general flow made sense.

For a bit of criticism, though, I'd say you could improve by checking the syllable count of some lines. _ Since this is poetry, I'll be a lot pickier than I would over a normal story- most lines here are perfect or very close, but there are a handful that are one or two syllables off.

e.g. : "He hurt you, and broke you, saying all the right lines" is one syllable more than its couple. This one in particular stuck out to me because "saying" implies present tense where the rest of that line is past tense. I'd suggest changing "saying" to "said"- in following with both the syllable count and the issue of tenses.

I wish you good luck with future writing. Your style is really something.

xXRockPinkHeartzXx chapter 1 . 10/27/2009
OMG! That was awesome. You are an amazing writer. I wish I could write a poem as good as yours. I love Jacob and I truley understand this magnificent poem. Keep writing, your wonderful.
IttyBittyTinyKitty chapter 1 . 10/2/2009
wow nice. that basically captures jacob, its so sad. you should do another poem, a happy one were he is with remessmee.

(ps did i tell u i love it?)
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