|Reviews for New Girl: PoT Style|
| Bianca chapter 1 . 6/20/2011
Mwahahahaha. This is a serious story, but why am I laughing 0.0. Strange things are happening...
| rini anointed436 chapter 3 . 6/10/2009
After reading this chapter, I can see that this storyline will turn into one puzzling mystery. Reading the prologue did make me curious that whole ordeal's about (the supposed murder). :D Aww! It must be love at first sight for Eiji. So...There really is more to Ann than it meets the eye. I'm interested in reading more of this fic if you'll ever find the time to continue writing it. It does have the potential to develop into an actual storyline full of mystery and suspense (and also maybe something supernatural). Hope to read more!
It's best to proofread your work before submitting it. I found two grammarical errors when reading through this chapter. Here they are:
1) They continued on walking passed Park Drive, a walk they have done a thousand times. It felt different with him. He assumed that he was just in a bad mood.
- Correction: She assumed that he was just in a bad mood.
When I read this paragraph, it seems like Miharu is the one thinking that. Eiji's mind seems to be someplace else at the time.
2) She shoved him again, nearly knowing him off the sidewalk.
- Correction: She shoved him again, nearly pushing him off the sidewalk.
"Pushing" is related to the action of "shoving".
| rini anointed436 chapter 2 . 6/10/2009
LOL! xD That was quite a scene that Eiji caused in front of everybody in the cafeteria (started by Momo). He's acting as cute and a tad silly as he usually does...just like his true character in PoT. You have everyone pretty much written IC (in character), especially in this AU (alternate universe) setting. Hmm...There is something of a mystery about the new girl that Eiji saw, and it makes me wonder that something might've happened to her in the past that keeps her from getting close to anybody (boys in particular?).
| rini anointed436 chapter 1 . 6/10/2009
Hmm...The mysteriousness in this fic is piquing my interest. Someone (as it's obviously written) must've been overly jealous of Ann to go that far in getting rid of her because of her own selfishness. Well, this doesn't seem to be much of a mystery since the culprit is already revealed, so it'd probably fit more into the "drama" or maybe "tragedy" or possibly "angst" genre depending on how you have the situation set up. A mystery's more fun to read when you keep the culprit's identity a secret throughout the story until the end. That's what makes the story a "mystery."
| Mizazu chapter 2 . 6/30/2008
8D Eiji is so cute in your story, haha. Update soon, I love your writing style!
(This is Michelle lolwut)