|Reviews for Tales of the Cosmic Wars Vol 2: A Star's Twilight|
| Sovereign64 chapter 8 . 11/30/2022
Thanks for explaining how the Koopalings exist despite Bowser not having...you know. XD
Anyways, that was a really good fight between the heroes and Bowser. Just when I thought Bowser got the upper hand after becoming Giga Bowser, Peach is able to boost the heroes' powers and defeat the king of Koopas for good.
Although Mario's world has been saved, the fight against the Zannacross Empire is far from over. Great chapter!
| Sovereign64 chapter 7 . 11/25/2022
Lots of action as always. Fawful may be a fool, but he still manages to be a threat to our heroes. Thankfully, our heroes manage to defeat him despite having extra pairs of arms to fight them.
Also, I did get a chuckle when Bowser tries to crush Ben and Mario...and fail miserably. XD But of course, the big baddie can't stay down forever as he manages to come back...with a clown car. Huh.
Anyways, Janus is really quite a threat when he manages to take down the Master Chief of all people. Thankfully, the spartan is saved by Cloud and hopefully, our spiky blonde hero have what it takes to defeat this dangerous bounty hunter. Also, I love the cameo from Cortana.
Let's see if Ben can manage to overcome Nightmare and Mario overcoming a now fully energized Bowser in the next chapter.
| Sovereign64 chapter 6 . 11/24/2022
Very nice to see Geno, Mallow and Rosalina in this story. And the fight scenes are fun and intense as always. And let's hope Ben and Mario can rescue Peach from Bowser (For the umpteenth time).
| Sovereign64 chapter 5 . 11/23/2022
It seems Ben is getting over the whole Lisa/Larxene fiasco and that's good. No one should feel demoralized forever.
Also, side note, I find it funny seeing Cloud, Aeris and Master Chief together in the same room because I once read a Cartoon X-Overs story which is a fanmake of the Halo games where Cloud and Aerith play as the Master Chief and Cortana respectively. XD
Anyways, they arrived at Toad Town, and it's nice to see Mario and Ben doing some action together. But Bowser is also here, hellbent on revenge alongside his Koopalings. It's time to teach them a lesson.
| Sovereign64 chapter 4 . 11/23/2022
Man, reading this chapter helped remind me how annoying Larxene was, so I'm glad Ben and Lacus were able to defeat her, though Marluxia shows up in time to save her.
I really love the conversation between Ben and Lacus after the fight, and I understand more why Ben is so desperate to become a better person and sees Lacus as his driving force to become one. Sadly, the moment between them is interrupted by Brad, whom Ben is really growing to be annoyed with even more. I really hope he doesn't go full blown Anakin Skywalker by consuming himself into his rage too much. That would be a really dangerous path for him.
| Sovereign64 chapter 3 . 11/6/2022
Well, unfortunately Ben's date didn't go well as planned, as it turns out Lisa is...Larxene all along! Dun dun dun! Well, I never like how Lisa acted through volume 1, but man, even I still feel shocked that Lisa was the spy Larxene all along, and the one who helped Xehamaru cause the invasion in the first place.
Hopefully, Ben and Lacus can work together to defeat Larxene, even despite Ben's disapproval of Lacus's relationship with Brad.
| Sovereign64 chapter 2 . 10/31/2022
It looks like Ben has become faster, stronger and more intelligent since the last time we saw him. Good on him. :)
Unfortunately, he had to deal with the pain of loss as his grandmother has passed away. And just when his day can't get any worse, he had a realistic nightmare of fighting against Xehamaru and the other villains again, as well as coming face to face with the wrath of Chaos Zannacross Necron himself!
Thankfully, the time hasn't come for him to face the big bad villain yet. But unfortunately, he and the other Enji Knights lay their eyes for the first time ever on seemingly the newest antagonist they have to face, Darth Damonus. So far, I can say that he is quite the menacing villain, and even more dangerous than Xehamaru as he manages to destroy an entire planet!
I hope Ben and the heroes can face this latest threat. Great chapter!
| Sovereign64 chapter 1 . 10/31/2022
Thanks for the recap of the first volume. Onto the next chapter!
| Ganheim chapter 2 . 6/18/2021
I can see the fort! Oh? Looks like someone is trying to get hurt."
What Ben is referring to is
[If you’re going to introduce a new element, it’s best to describe it as they enter the scene. A new actor is a distinct new thing and forcing your audience to backpedal disrupts the flow of the narrative]
From this look back I can see the improvement in your writing, especially the weird formatting where you separate dialog from its sources and have the quote marks in the wrong places, making it very hard to read.
due to her detached eyes being glued to the floor
[If her eyes are detached they’re not in her head. An unfocused gaze might be staring down, but that’s not detached. This story might not be Cyberpunk setting, but it still includes cybertech and magic so your descriptions need to be clear and careful because in a mega-mashup a lot of things are possible]
will history just remember another kind person? I, I don't want to be just, someone that no one will remember
[This is a very impersonal, possibly vain take. A very human direction to take an ambitious, morally grey character. Reminds me of Bakugo from My Hero Academy]
Xehamaru made the mistake of underestimating me, and that was his final mistake
[Jumping right to threatening death? Interesting take that’s in perfect line with his personal ambition to be the number one hero above. A hero who has darkness inside to fight against is an excellent archetype because it reflects all of humanity: everybody has internal conflict about something, and a hero fighting through that gives the audience a commonality to latch onto. A hero lacking that can work too, but those archetypes usually show up as what Joseph Campbell called The Mentor who is a static character who brings change in others and is rarely the focal character]
Your spelling could use some work but shows noticeable improvement from the first volume so it's clearly a style in progress. The only issue I have is that the "power level" and therefore conflict swiftly leaves the human realm and that takes away from the human conflict and humanity of the characters. Even though he's not fighting anything on equal terms here yet, Ben's still clearly human and therefore has personal stakes and very real risks by getting involved in the conflict.
| Ganheim chapter 1 . 6/18/2021
To Ben's horror the girl he always had strong feelings for is in love with the biggest jerk of all
[There are two ways I’ve seen this idea work: the first is Galavant where her priorities changed and she rejected the protag in order to pursue a rich jerk. The other is the viewpoint being an unreliable narrative that isn’t (initially) capable of recognizing the qualities the ex-girl would’ve sought (sometimes the same as the protag). The other possibilities aren’t internally consistent (why would a good person seek out a bad one?). This is complicated by the fact that Ben already has a girlfriend in someone else, which makes some great conflict but requires resolution and introspection]
I don't normally like prologues, but this does a good job of being very concise and swiftly wrapping up the "need to know" before moving into the next chapters. That's especially helpful for as long as your stories are (in the millions of words). The other characters aren't described very thoroughly, but that's generally better done as they are (re)introduced to the story and this gives the gist of who they are in relation to Ben. Even better is that the narrative is delivered in a slight tone as if from Ben himself.
| Allfather-Ford chapter 10 . 6/12/2020
And oh boy, we get to see the in-depths of Ben's hellish training.
First we got to see Ben standing around spikes for hours that gives immense pains. Then with the insults and criticism of being the chosen wielder of the Star Sword.
Ben is angry at Kira being too hard on him without a shed of remorse, though there's one thing that Ben's power aura escalates from Ben's anger, which makes Kira realizes that he underestimates him and decides he'll give the proper in-depth training he deserves.
| Allfather-Ford chapter 9 . 6/12/2020
Oh shit. Kira's training with Ben is clearly hard as fuck. He is not fucking around of showing Ben the harsh truths and realities of being a protagonist. This personal training is hell without breaks enough to push the limits. This is the burden of seeing Ben's training.
| Allfather-Ford chapter 8 . 6/12/2020
Giga Bowser and Night-Terror appear in raising the stakes for the heroes battle against the two villains. Of course that Giga Bowser is still defeated, just like we remember beating his ass back in Smash Brothers and can even use him as a playable character in Final Smash.
Oh, Ben is going to have some training time with Kira.
| Allfather-Ford chapter 7 . 6/12/2020
Bowser likes to boast himself that he's the iconic villain who likes to take over the world. Oh yes, next chapter will show our Koopa king becoming Giga Bowser.
| Allfather-Ford chapter 6 . 6/12/2020
Oh, so I see that the Koopalings are taking notes from Power Rangers in using Zords and even a Megazord to fight out heroes. Bowser and his forces have their fight with Mario and the heroes.