No, you're so evil who is he? Stella has too be alive she has to be. I still love your story and I love how detialed your writting is. I loved the Mac hide and seek thing. This story Rocks! :D

I'm not sure I can take the tension! I'm getting more and more worried about Stella, I really want her to be ok, then for her and Mac to get together! You wite suspense so well, that little twist at the end was great but I think they are going to crack soon, especially Mac.

x

This is so tense. You captured the emotions of all of them so well. The little bit with Adam was sweet and it's a shame how Flack has to tell Mac what might be, I hope Mac is right though.

You know I love this and I'm pleased as I have another chapter to read!

x

I had a feeling the writer of the letters had something to do with this. Hm. Loved the final line from Danny's mom's POV "And all she could see now was the dark, heaving depths of the river, and her son’s laughing face; heedless of any danger." You gave an unknown character real depth in few lines - well done! I also loved how you protrayed Flack as he kept his cool, as well as having Angell as his anchor - "Flack took off again with Angell’s eyes keeping him alight." A great line. It manages to understate their relationship while bringing it to the forefront of the reader's attention.

I actually feel worried for Rich. Some part of me feels sorry for him - this is why I teach naughty boys, there is always aback story. I want him to be the letter writer's brother or cousin and to be more weaved into the motivation behind the crime and not just a doer of it.

I'm very curious about the end. I assume this is the same man we've had glances of before.

A really good chapter.

I'd like to see some interviewing and a little of Sid. The body from the beginning hasn't been identified yet? Or have I forgotten?

Why of course I enjoyed it! I do wish you wouldn't have such amazing cliff-hangers...meanie!

The suspense is (to be very cliche) killing me! Mac has to find Stella soon (I'm sure I've said this before!) The descriptions of poor Mac's hope were so powerful and I loved how you compared it to him playing hide and seek in Chicago.

And good old Flack is keeping it together :D

Will we be seeing Joshua the cat soon? :D He has rather grown on me whilst re-reading this fic and at the same time wishing that my mum would let me get a kitten...-sighs-

Anyway I need to get to bed -yawns- I'm down on the farm early tomorrow x

I've been really busy, so a bit behind with reviewing, so this one goes for the last two chapters. I loved the scene with Sid, Adam and Hawkes, especially Sid encouraging Adam! Getting very worried about Stella now, but your portrayal of Mac is practically perfect, his distress at being unable to find her. Again I am astounded by the characterisation in this - sometimes you almost forget you're reading a fanfic, not watching an episode. I've got everything crossed for Danny, too.

Well done again,

x

Great update! I hope that they can find Stella and sioon. If not they'll all go out of there minds, especially Mac. I'm looking forward to reading more!

Wow, I loved reading this chapter!

The extract from the letter was interesting and made me really curious, considering that TJ's the name of Rich's "boss"!

And it was lovely to know something more about Danny's situation, the scene with his parents was heartbreaking and your descriptions were, as usual, really great! Danny's mother's memory was sweet and very realistic, just like Mac's meomories of his chilhood, it's nice to think about the characters' happy past!

Then the descriptions of Flack, he's so worried about Stella, I feel sorry for him! But it's good to see him focused on the case, he's great at coordinating his men, although his concentration hides the attempt to repress his feelings. I loved, as usual, his interaction with Mac; the two are very in-character, and they work perfectly as a team because they are both aware of their priorities.

Rich and TJ's meeting was really intense, and I kind of felt a sense of revenge when I read how Rich, the bad guy, was desperate and totally subdued! TJ is a very interesting character, his description was great, he's really creepy and mysterious!

Then the final scene... I'm so glad Mac found the earring, what he needs now is hope, we know how determined he is, but he needs new evidence to keep being optimistic!

And the part where the team searchs the containers was full of suspense, I loved it! Lindsay's reaction to the rats offered a sort of comic relief that was just perfect in the situation, and kept her in character, showing her 'human' side, in opposition with her being a cold minded detective.

And... you left us with another cliffhanger, and a really important one!

I can't wait for the next chapter, and of course I hope it'll be as involving and action packed as this one! Congrats!

-Francesca

Terrific chapter!

Sorry, I know the emails not working but thanks for noticing the review!

Another fantastic chapter! Thanks for the update on Danny, glad to know he's hanging on. I really enjoyed the search for Stella, I found myself holding my breath with every check of the containers. Again, the descriptions were stellar, right down the "rodent prints" *gives a little shudder*.

Excellent work, Lily, keep it up!

Really want to know more about Stellas situation and is she still unconscious. But the blood of hers what the detectives observed.. It does not sound good at all:( I would enjoy reading more about Stella's point of view (if she is still alive). Hope she is! I love the part where Danny is in a hospital with his parents. And the way his mother is feeling, so heartbreaking. But again well written chapter.

Oh my goodness I see some connections being made here as the young woman met Joe at the pond. A young man who'd been too busy with TJ and the latest job which they didn't want her involved with. It all sounds very sinister indeed. And then TJ meeting Rich, such fine details in the peaked baseball cap and Rich sandwiching himself into the corner of the booth, buying a bit of a time because a bit of time is all he needs until he is no longer 'Rich'. Excellent scene

The description of Danny in a hospital bed no different from any other hospital bed in the building only reinforces the fact that Danny has become yet another patient but it's the detailing of his parents at his bedside that brings him back to us as an individual. I love the memory you draw of him on the Staten Island ferry, his mother's worry and her inability to contain his delight with the danger. An early reckoning of the predictment he finds himself in now.

I love take charge Flack, getting Hawkes, his best man, down to process the crime scene. And the image of Mac, flanked by Lindsay and Angell as they canvas the perimeter. And they found the earring - I knew they would. But my heart was in my throat the entire time they were searching the containers for Stella, every one they encountered was so exquistively detailed but not overdone. And the eyes, watching them from the doorway of the warehous, makes me very anxious for the next chapter. Do not leave it too long!

wow...great ending! I know that I've said it before, but I love all of the detail that you include. The earring was a great clue, also! I sure hope that they find Stella soon. This is a great story!

As for my story (Too Close), I just wanted to let you know that it may be a few more days until the next chapter is up. My laptop crashed on Friday night, and it needs a new hard drive, so I lost all of the chapters that I had written. I was working on chapter 10, so I need to rewrite about five chapters. Sorry to make you wait!

I suggest you come back to CLA meetings. We've missed you. I know I won't be at the next few, but I'm there in spirit just like I will be reviewing the next ones in spirit. Spooky!

I first of all loved 'For only a second, he allowed some of the rage and frustration that he was containing using every fibre of his self-control, fracture out of him. Then he heaved a breath in, then another and sealed the crack. Focus. Lindsay was watching him warily, Angell’s expression was carefully calm.' I loved the insight into Mac. How he lets himself go for only a moment. And then he seals himself up. Just like that.

Oh do please let them find her! I know you said that you will try not to damage Mac, but please let Stella live even if death brings out feelings that are suppressed *coughMaccough*. There's not much more you can do to her *hopes that she hasn't challenged you to writing something terrible.* I am so sad that I shall miss what happens. Maybe my guesses will be right. I can only hope.

I loved the insight into Danny's condition. 'With every visible beat of his heart on the monitor above him, his mother squeezed his fingers; feeling them cold in hers and suddenly as small and vulnerable as they had been when he was a child running beside her along the deck of the Staten Island ferry, and she had hollered at him to keep the hell away from those damn railings in case he fell overboard. She had clutched him then, and pulled him back; scolding and threatening. And he had grinned at her, and rushed right back over to dangle his heels above the water.' I cursed. Normally I skip those words, but I was just quoting. Don't tell my mom. I can see Danny doing that as a child. It's very like him to do that. I don't know it just is. XD

I definately loved this. 'How could Stella be dead? Mac had to be right; she got out. She had too much life in her not to have done. And he had to believe the same for Danny, who had life boiling over, and enough to spare for all those who knew him; he had to believe that he would recover; that he would be laughing again with him soon, drinking beers with him, ribbing him. All the things he would say to him when, when he woke up were stored ready.' I think that it is very important to say when instead of if. If you say if, it's saying that you don't believe it yourself. I loved though the image of Flack and Danny hanging out and him 'ribbing' Flack. I do love those two. Very fun characters. You wouldn't kill Danny?

I'll go back in time and say that I loved this 'The man unknown to himself as Detective Messer, Daniel Messer, Danny, lay in a bed that was the identikit of all the others in the hospital; in a room the same as any other in the building; and in a ward that had nothing to distinguish it from any of the hundreds like it.' Great insight to how uniform it would have felt. How no one would know what had happened to him if they weren't looking for him. I just hope he's okay. You really wouldn't kill him off would you?

Now poor Lindsay. I guess she had to let her emotions out somewhere. I don't mind rats and mice myself, but I can see where what she's feeling has to come out somewhere. I just hope they find Stella. Mac might just lose it if they don't. Not that I wouldn't mind see that intense side of Mac, but still. Though I thought we agreed that it was the image of a soaking wet Mac that was best. It's right there with Cowboy Mac. You couldn't have had him totally swim in the river? ;) Would've been a hit. *hopes no one takes her idea* Sorry have to stake a claim on it. :D

Now I don't know how I'm going to survive for two weeks without this story. I might just die. Hope you have a fantastic two weeks! Don't kill anyone off! :D (this has gotten very long) Can't wait for when I come back! XD

Hm, I am gonna take a shot in the dark and say the TJ in the letter and Rich's partner are one in the same fellow. Very curious. The scene with Danny and his parents was gut wrenching...can't wait to read more.