|Reviews for Dumbledore's Army and the Year of Darkness|
| Guest chapter 25 . 8/26
My name on here is rogue, but it's been so long since I've signed in that I've forgotten my password. I felt urgency, though, to let you know how incredibly grateful I am I looked into your fic! It was a general group recommendation and a type of fix I never read, even 15 years in, but something compelled me to give it a try. It swallowed me up completely. I can't believe this is your first fic - this is so professional, incredibly well-written and I loved the style, the tone.
The hardcore truth of it, that year and the battle, was so hard to read but seemed so much more realistic than the actual book(s). It hurt to read, but that just added to the realism, and REALLY makes you think. This was so well executed, it feels real, and strikes you hard and fast in the gut.
Thank you, for sharing this, and your words here at the end. I am lost for words myself.
| Twinnie chapter 25 . 8/24
It could have been such an amazing story... Your writing style is very good, with the right balance between dialogue, action and description. You've put thoughts and work into your fic, and it shows. Unfortunately...
... So, I couldn't read it all. I started having doubts when Neville and Ernie were whipped so hard they almost died, and the teachers did nothing. I expect you could have explained their quite surrealistic survival after three days of being tied up with torn up backs, with magic. But the teachers allowing such barbarism to take place, and in front of other children, and no parent attempting to pull their kid from school after that... It was going a bit too far.
Then, the Forbidden Forest, with the kids escaping by the skin of their teeth. Again, a WTH moment.
The wire thing. How does such a thing as a wire work in Hogwarts, where Muggle technology doesn't? And what was the point, when you have Fred and George's Extendible Ears in-universe to be used for the exact same reason?
I understood with the DragonPox chapter, and didn't reading the following chapters, but I did read your version of the Battle of Hogwarts. It didn't work for me, either.
You were so intent on making Neville a hero, a real one, like those soldiers you so obviously admire, that you made the entire school staff OOC. Plus Harry, plus about anyone who could outshine Neville, actually.
In the books, the teachers stayed inside Hogwarts without openly rebelling because the pupils were safe enough. Snape was keeping them safe. I don't like the man, especially as he was showed from Harry's POV as a real git from book 1 to 7, but he was *always* protecting the kids. Never attempting to murder any.
The rest of the staff would NOT have waited for Harry's return to make a stand if things had gone as far as what you describe. What was the point of their remaining Hogwarts teachers if they could neither teach nor protect? There were enough of them that they could have overpowered Snape the Carrows long enough to get the pupils away from the school, had the need arisen.
The Cruciatus Curse... Why exactly is your version of Cruciatus an Unforgivable? Kids get over it with only the help of other kids... And then they show off about it. Your Cruciatus sounds like a painful hex, but not like an Unforgivable Curse that damages nerve endings and causes madness.
You twisted all these points, and more than a few others, to write the story you wanted to write. You adapted the HP universe to your story, instead of adapting your story to the HP Universe.
But when you made Ernie give his live for Susan... Maybe you didn't realise you were cheapening Lily's sacrifice. And if Lily's sacrifice had been common enough that it could be reproduced that easily, then Voldemort would have heard of the existence of this kind of magic.
Your story doesn't make sense. Not within the HP universe. Your writing is good, I wish I could read something of yours about an original setting, or even about another fandom, maybe. You could have written such a good story, if only you had bothered with being in-universe...
You have so many reviews that you won't care that I'm harsh, so it cannot hurt to write it: you may mock Mary-Sues, as one of the stories in your favourites suggests.
But the story you wrote wasn't about Dumbledore's Army or Hogwarts' lost seventh year. You were trying to write about Neville Longbottom, but instead you wrote about Gary Stu.
And it wouldn't be such a disappointment if the beginning of your story hadn't shown such promise.
| Guest chapter 25 . 8/21
This was amazing. Thank you for writing it.
| evelyn-shaye chapter 25 . 8/21
I read this story on the recommendation of a friend, and I am beyond impressed and delighted with this story. Truly good fanfiction is hard to come by. You've infused this story with such emotion, and I genuinely connected with these characters, more so than when I read the final Harry Potter book. I also appreciated your attention to detail and making the magical world feel so real and natural. You've written a phenomenal story. Thank you.
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/16
Just finished this story, and I have to hand it to you. I had just lost all confidence in fan fics but came across yours on a list of recommended fan fics, and decided to grudgingly give it a try. Now I am totally glad I did, the story was intricate and amazing and I loved how the Weasleys' used the shrinking spell for Ginny's packages. I've always wondered why no one used it more when moving stuff or mailing objects, it saves so much space!
The style of writing is great, and I loved how you handeled the characters' backstories and made them into three dimensional characters, though I think Neville changed a bit too much in one year. But they are living in turbulent times, and this story truly allows us to reflect on the consequences of war upon families and loved ones, the young and the old. Honestly if you published it I think this should do better than 50 shades.
A part that I thought slightly unsatisfactory was how Harry seemed so distant and unsure. I understand that he wasn't the one on scene fighting the Death Eaters at Hogwarts , but I still think he deserves a bit more credit, as towards the end I got a feeling Neville was a bit beginning to belittle Harry.
This is truly an amazing story, and I hate to call it fan fiction because the plotline was well-thought out,the characters had so much depth and the writing was great. To call it fan fiction seems to give it a bad name and brings to mind all the other pieces that I've come across, those can hardly be called "writing". Very well-done, I would look forward to you writing an original novel!
| Amazed chapter 25 . 8/16
Fucking amazing! I had this sitting on the back burner for a while because life gets in the way, but I'm so glad I decided to read it! The writing is spectacular, the grammar and punctuation is perfect and the plot line! It's just wow. I don't think J.K. could've written that any better!
| Guest chapter 25 . 8/15
The Best fic I've ever read. Don't need to say anything else.
| candra934 chapter 25 . 8/14
Excellent. Thank you for writing this! I love how it filled in what we lost in Deathly Hallows. Good luck in future endeavors and thank you for supporting our troops.
| Diana chapter 25 . 8/10
I cried and laughed and cried again and devoured every single word and emotion of your story. Thank you for the hours of magic you gave me. Looking forward to reading your next book.
| Casser chapter 25 . 8/11
That was absolutely beautiful.
| Requiem17 chapter 25 . 8/8
One of the most amazing retellings of a story that I have ever read. Truly stunning.
| SmokinSpirits chapter 1 . 8/4
THIS IS FANTASTIC AND I CANNOT PUT IT DOWN. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS TALENTED WRITING
| Guest chapter 25 . 7/31
| nwendte9 chapter 25 . 8/1
This was wonderfully written. Being so long after you have posted it, I have no idea if you will ever see this review. The character and plot development were handled in an extraordinary way, and that deserves praise. I felt every emotion possible while reading this, and that is the mark of a truly gifted writer. As with any written work, there will be things readers take issue with and I can honestly say the only things that bothered me were deaths that strayed incredibly far from cannon. In all honesty, they were the only things that reminded me that I was not, in fact, reading a book by J. K. Rowling herself. You did an amazing job bringing me into Hogwarts during that horrible year and that is something you should take pride in. Long live Dumbledore's Army!
| Jane chapter 1 . 7/25
OMG that was SUCH a good chapter. The dialogue was incredibly realistic but also amusing and you described each character concisely but perfectly. I also really got a sense of who Neville is, which was so nice - you are clearly very good at writing in third person! I can't wait to read more (I've also been waiting for a good Dumbledore's Army fanfic for AGES)