I just love this story! Incredible!

This was a nice story to read. The affection began to become a little cloying (I love my siblings dearly, and I would shower lots of affection on them if they weren't so uncomfortable with it, but my parents whom I love as much do allow it, and to have so much cuddling and kissing...! it's a lot.), but it was kind of nice. It's great to read of deep, very affection platonic love that never becomes inappropriately sexual.

I'm just starting this fanfiction but I was wondering what book or movie the choice of Lucy going across the gorge when she saw Aslan is from. I'm sure I'm just rusty because I haven't read the books in a while but I would like to brush up on the context before I read the whole story! :)

Damn that was a powerful story
Keep on the writes

Very good story!

I would like to praise your story as one of very few that moved my heart. I absolutely adored the relationship and protectiveness of Peter and Edmund. Your a brilliant writer! I also like how Caspian was very much a part of the story as well and how fleshed out his character was, unlike some fanfics where he is either ignored or plays a very small part. I do however, wish that the relationship between Lucy and Edmund was more developed as the beginning of the story was about them before diverting to being about Peter and Edmund. I would have also have liked to see some more Susan and maybe more about the relationship between Susan and Lucy. It may have been interesting to see what Susan and Peter were doing when they were separated from Lucy and Edmund as well. Overall, I did find it a brilliant piece of work. Well done!

Oh, Lucy, I love you. But you've got to admit, the way they've been acting lately with all the kissing and closeness and girly confession moments...it does make a girl wonder.

I love the story, but I have to ask, why is Edmund throwing up? What happened to him?

This was really good off to read your squeal.

Hells yes!

I found this fic via a recommendation on TV Tropes.

This is a tremendous jumping off point. I was actually watching the BBC version of the Chronicles the other day and started screaming at the writers when Edmund didn't speak up for Lucy. I look forward to seeing what you do with this twist.

Beautifully written and organized.
Amazingly well thought out.
The only critique is the relationship between Edmund and Peter. THIS IS NOT BASHING THIER RELATIONSHIP IN THIS STORY. Why I brought it up was because this story starts out where Peter and Edmund's relationship is on rocky ground, Susan is too busy trying to force herself to be a grown up and a queen to realize that she already is both or that she could help and it's LUCY who Edmund has to rely on. Maybe the characters wanted to write their own story or this was how you originally planned it but I think it would have been stronger if the reigning relationship would have been Edmund connecting with Lucy rather than Edmund and Peter's bromance (yes I know their not gay for each other and blah blah blah- I'm not arguing that!) because that is the relationship that really starts this. Yes I think it's engaging and an essential part of the story but it goes from Edmund and Lucy going on a leap of faith to Ed's and Pete's relationship issues.
That being said your characters ARE well thought out, well rounded and generally likeable. Yes they are based on the cannon but they are good adaptations of well loved works and that is your doing. Good job!

Hi, I looked for your bible verse but ran into the problem that there is no Ecclesiastes 6:14. It may be in a different part of the bible though

Well, I think the transitions were smooth enough, because I didn't even really notice any.

Love!
Love is too much for me!