|Reviews for Maternal Instinct|
| The Layman chapter 8 . 8/26/2010
The 'Master/Servant" thing was one of the things you hit right off for this being your first Hellsing fic.
| The Layman chapter 7 . 8/25/2010
You know, I think you might have made Alucard a little too vulnerable in this charpter. Oh well, live and learn as they say...
| The Layman chapter 6 . 8/24/2010
OK, there's another thing I don't like about the TV Anime; they cut stuff that was in the manga (such as Rip's catchphrase [see story], and The Major).
But enough of my gripes. I enjoyed Seras' little shopping trip. It was cute.
| The Layman chapter 5 . 8/24/2010
Yeah, making him a Dhamphir would've been too easy.
But hey, now I know who Abby is! And now I've got to get into NCIS...
| The Layman chapter 4 . 8/23/2010
My first guess would be Resident Evil, but I'm not quite sure. (Don't tell me though, I'll read it in the next chapter.)
| The Layman chapter 3 . 8/23/2010
OK, if Seras hasn't realized that Alucard is /totally/ in to S&M by now, then maybe she /is/ hopeless as a Vampire.
| The Layman chapter 2 . 8/22/2010
Aww, Seras is acting motherly! However, I don't think Alucard will be quite so..."gentle", shall we say.
| The Layman chapter 1 . 8/21/2010
Aside from it being from the TV Anime, I haven't found anything worng with it.
Oh, and I hope "Major Not-apearing-in-this-anime" makes an apearance too!
| Dragowolf chapter 15 . 1/8/2010
This was great! Wonderful work! It was a lot of fun to read! And what a shocker! Superman's son! Wow... Loved the ending!
| Lion in the Land chapter 15 . 9/10/2009
First off, before I forget - what's a Hobson's choice?
"Revel in the moment when life meets death!" THAT's the line I liked so much that I was trying to think of before.
Very nice ending, with Seras's selflessness and Jason's reluctance to leave her, even though he missed his parents. The explanation of him being hesitant to go back, because he was afraid he'd hurt his family was heart wrenching and made sense given earlier things he'd said to Seras. And you handled Seras's melancholy emotions wonderfully.
One thing that sort of nagged at me was that I was wondering what his parents were doing all of this time. I'm sure they must have been going crazy looking for Jason, and I'm sure you've got a very good explanation of why they couldn't find him, especially since he's hiding out with a top-secret organisation, but I just think that maybe that should have been addressed somehow. Like maybe back in the last chapter when Integra realized who Jason was, she could've been like, "THAT's why that reporter from the Daily Planet kept sniffing around here!" And then in this chapter, maybe Seras had to sneek him through some sort of stake out set up in the area looking for him? I don't really know what I'm talking about with that, but do you know what I mean?
When Seras left her keys in the ignition, I was like, "YES! Rip's gonna get her car back!" And then she did! But I have to say, my favorite part of the epilogue was for the character who wasn't even really a character - good ol' Private Margaretha Zelle! The rumor started that she was an angel sent to them - so great!
Splendid story, MetroK. Thanks for pointing me in this direction.
| Lion in the Land chapter 14 . 9/9/2009
Wow. Excellent continuation of the battle. You really did such a good job making it all believable given their various abilities and suspenseful. It wasn't like one side dominated the whole time; it was a great back and forth. Very inventive and well constructed. I particularly like Zorin's demise with the dust and the melting from the sun's power.
I really like how you brought elements of the Manga in here, with the Dandy Man and Zorin and her illusions.
And you fitted in Super Boy, oh, excuse me, Jason, so nicely! I love that he came to the rescue, but still had a struggle. Oh, and when he was looking through Seras's eyes, the thought popped in my head that it was like a video game - and then you said it!
Also, I know I gave you a hard time about Alucard's voice in earlier chapters, but I think you nailed it in this one. "I know it doesn’t taste very good, but drink up, Police Girl. Drink up and regain your strength." I could practically hear Crispin's overly-dramatic droning. :P
You ask in your author's notes about the clues to Alucard and Seras. I did see it, especially when his thoughts felt vulnerable. I didn't really think about it when he protected Seras instead of fighting Zorin, but yes, that's not typical behavior. Okay, maybe it's that Pip and Seras picture still affecting me, but I don't even think the AlucardxSeras was necessary in this story. It had enough other things going on that it didn't need it at all. Even still, I suppose it didn't hurt...didn't hurt anyone but poor Pip! :(
Cute bonus scene. Is it canon that Alucard's forms could split apart like that?
P.S. You are SUCH a show off with this being your first attempt at a Hellsing fic.
| Lion in the Land chapter 13 . 9/8/2009
That was so good! Okay, now I can see that the chapter previous (while decent and necessary) pales in comparison. Your descriptions of strategy the thoughts/motivations of the key individuals were excellent. I got sucked in, and following the battle was effortless. Seras' transformation into her bloodlust was particularly great.
And how dare you make me like Rip? I'm really going to have to go back and read the manga w/ her in it, because my only experience is in the OVA. But I really like her here. "She was simply killing the things that were trying to kill her." She's just so cool!
Oh, I also liked, before the battle, when Fletcher was dubious about winning simply because they were the "good guys." It made me think of The Archer's Tale with France and England both thinking God was on their side.
And poor little Schroedinger with the crosses in his eyes after Rip shot him. I think I can see where your cat-boy is a little different that how I've seen him portrayed elsewhere. If I'm being totally honest (which you know I am :P) I sort of prefer a more devious version of him, but yours is awfully cute.
Before I forget again, I want to tell you that I appreciated your explanation in the last chapter on Alucard's restrictions and how they get released. It was brief, but informative. :)
| Lion in the Land chapter 12 . 9/7/2009
I am glad you took this whole chapter for set up - you seemed to take just the right amount of time for it. That whole scene with Integra wanting to jump into battle with her men, but Walter talking her out of it was important. She's not a coward, but Walter made very valid points that she couldn't ignore.
I also like what you've got going on with Alucard and the Dandy Man (who's name never fails to CMU). Blasting apart his shadow was clever - if it's been done before, I don't remember it. "That actually hurt!" - that line was so funny, and it also showed that Alucard is genuinely surprised by the fight this guy is putting up.
Even the whole thing with Jason's ears hurting and deciding where he'd go was very well thought out. So, I'm sure at this point you were very anxious to get to that battle, but I'm proud of you for not getting so impatient that you skipped over this important chapter. As a reader I don't feel at all frustrated - the tension is building, and that's exciting.
One suggestion I have is that as soon as Abby and Integra realized that it was an inside by the Nazis, I'd have thought they would check where Rip was locked up immediately. Seeing her gone would have been an even stronger signal that the attack was imminent. Just a thought.
P.S. Re: you earlier message, I am afraid you are stuck with me for the duration, darling. Even if I hadn't liked this chapter, I already know this story is good enough to see through till the end. ;)
| Lion in the Land chapter 11 . 9/6/2009
I like the way this story changes up from chapter to chapter. I never know what to expect. But you do it all in a cohesive flow, it's not confusing, and each chapter keeps the story moving forward. And you kept sight of the core of the story here by having Alucard lament the absence of his fledgling because she's consoling the Halfling. Is he a bit jealous over the loss of attention for himself, perhaps?
I liked the Rip/Schrodinger scenes. The happy-go-lucky cat boy would be quite frustrating to Rip, I'm sure. "If you ever had an original thought, it would die of loneliness." - that was a good one. I can't believe I'm rooting for her to get away - is that weird? But tell me, if you were to write Schrodinger today, would you do anything different? Would he be maybe a little less spacey? (I'm asking because I'm trying to get a handle on his character and want to make sure I'm influenced by the right things.) I thought his “Rip, you-who, Rip” just as she was about to make her escape was darling.
On the beta lab scene, I think maybe an additional paragraph or two describing Alucard blasting the hoppers as he moved through the building could have pulled readers into the scene better. I liked the way you described it as "tedious" by the end, and I thought that was a nice intro. of Dandy Man - good set up for when that fight continues.
And that crafty major with the computer virus...things are really heating up now.
| Lion in the Land chapter 10 . 9/4/2009
I'm sorry to tell you this, but again, I'm going to be short on any critical help here. I really liked the way you structured this chapter - letting the boy tell his story with no interruptions, a full account of Seras' reaction afterwards, and then the rather fun interrogation of Rip.
The boy's story was really tragic. Him wanting so badly to be the hero. His ego was his flaw, but still, what a price to have to pay for that. Okay, so his dad is some kind of hero, and they have super hearing, and...what am I missing? I don't know, now with him losing his temper, he sounds like the Hulk to me, but he's not getting big and green, so that's not it. I'm sure you're losing all respect for me as you read this, but I just don't know!
I think my favorite part of this chapter is Seras' reaction. Telling him it wasn't his fault wouldn't really help him, because he knows that's not true. But hugging him and letting him know she cares about him anyway is the best thing she could do. That was just great.
Okay, the only thing I would change here is to give more description of exactly how Integra slugged the Lieutenant - a backhand across the face? Fist in the gut? Because that was so awesome to read and I wanted a better visual. Nice detail on Alucard with her, though. And "Down boy" was such the perfect end.
So, even though I'm very slow on figuring this out, I'm still enjoying being along for the ride.