|Reviews for Envy|
| Dominus Tenebrosus chapter 1 . 10/12/2012
So I've been doing something a bit different as of late; a sort of "rolling commentary" where I offer my thoughts at the time, and a "general thoughts" bit where I offer my thoughts on the whole work. Given the length, there might be some overlap there though. So, yeah. If that's a problem, well, just let me know and I'll avoid it next time. :) Anyway. I should also note I'm not wholly familiar with the fandom. So... Yeah. Might, or might not, be an issue.
Heh. As usual, I find myself surprised to see how much you work into a short piece. In this case, I see the title, and that first sentence. It's almost like Ernest Hemmingway actually; so much is said in that one sentence. One already knows this is gonna be kind of sad.
Now we have this next bit, our first real paragraph... A sort of introduction to our characters, so to speak. One has to wonder who exactly he is envious of, it seems like it could go either way.
Second paragraph... Feels. All of the feels. As I said, we know this is going to be kind of sad, and well... You demonstrate just to what degree. We feel his pain with that simple paragraph.
Then we have the third paragraph. It's shorter than the ones before it, but it still sets a significant tone; sort of reinforcing the previous paragraph.
Here comes the fourth paragraph. At once, we know who he is envious of, and what that envy feels like. More feels.
The fifth paragraph, I will admit I have a bit of issue with it. It feels like it needs to be two paragraphs, not one. Separate it just a little over midway, where we have "Kain wishes," and I think it would be a little bit better. Just my opinion, take it or leave it. Either way.
The first half of the fifth paragraph is sort of like the first true paragraph. Description of what's happening. It's at once cute, and disheartening when you think of who is looking on.
And then we have the second half of the fifth paragraph, which is a return to the one watching. And again, we have all the feels. I think we've all been in a similar boat; we can all relate to how that feels, and it's not a happy feeling. Just, ouch.
Then we have the last sentence, which is a repetition of a previous bit. It works though, because it reinforces the second half of paragraph 5. Reinforces, and truly brings it out. Poor guy.
Well, as always, I'm sort of amazed at how much you've managed to fit into so little. It's genuinely impressive, honestly; I don't really know how you do it, and that makes it all the more impressive to me.
Either way, as always, you've provided and enjoyable, if somewhat short read. Kudos. :)
| Kala Sathinee chapter 2 . 1/8/2010
Aren't the dark characters more fun? 8D
'Tis why I have so much fun with Rufus, Weiss, Nero, Rosso, and Sephiroth.
Enjoyed it muchly. And, let's see if this review actually works. I think I might have forgotten to log in last time.
| Josiyx chapter 2 . 11/16/2009
I spent the whole game waiting for Cecil to break down.
He never did :(
| theatrhythms chapter 1 . 7/25/2009
Oh gosh, I know what you mean about random updating out of sheer laziness. I hate that feeling. D I can't wait for another update, though. I LOVE Kain, and you just have him in perfect character here. When I write Kain (even though I've never posted a Kain fic on the site), I have him with almost the exact same mindset as you do. Love the fic, can't wait for another drabble. :)
| InspirationDruid26 chapter 1 . 8/25/2008
*Laughoutloud* I'm not too sure of the reference to Spawn as I don't know who that is, but the imagery of the war machine/bird thing was hilarious. xD My thoughts exactly! I'd never imagine Cecil like that based on his sprite in the game.
Very nicely written! I can really picture this happening based on the opening animations.
| Josiyx chapter 1 . 8/5/2008
Dude, how did I not know you wrote like whoa?
And with like an awesome fandom too. Yay for Kain.
| FFIV Lover chapter 1 . 6/28/2008
I love the words you choose for it. It's not a hate I think...he is more envious of their love. It's sad to see that she will never really know him, and I am sure behind that dragon armor is a gentle soul. But I love it, and I hope you will write more like this in the future!
| CrissCrossedHaiku chapter 1 . 6/18/2008
Oh, this was REALLY well done. I like that you based it on the beginning like that- knowing the images you were writing to really helps piece the scene together.
| Lassarina Aoibhell chapter 1 . 6/15/2008
Oh, Kain. Oh, ow. I love the resentment and the imagery in here, how focused he is on Rosa and her interaction with Cecil, and I particularly like his derisive thought on how Cecil is so much less imposing than everyone thinks he is.
I'm looking forward to more of these. :)