|Reviews for Wishes|
| A R I S T 0 Crat I chapter 15 . 5/23/2009
You have a good OC, and I loved this chapter even if it contained no Norm. It also contained no spelling mistakes (or I'm not in the mood to check). Luckily, I'm sure that Norm doesn't cause spelling mistakes.
I'd liked the flashback.
You are good at characterization.
Amanda has great snark.
Beach bums that hit on you probably aren't great friends, though Amanda might naively think that even Voldemort is great friend as long as he doesn't hurt anyone other than her.
| 123p4567C8a9r1o2m3P44589678980 chapter 15 . 5/23/2009
Update! This story is GREAT! Please! UPDATE! Norm is SO HOT! I miss him like mad! So just update! Now! Now! UPDATE!
| ZOMG EVIL PONY on Uranus chapter 1 . 5/23/2009
Great story. I like the insight provided by this chapter, and you are so good with characterizing OCs that I wouldn't mind if you added major OCs and minor OCs in one fanfic (though that would make me wonder if I'd even see the canon characters in the fanfic).
The flashback was great.
If the canon characters were in this chapter, I'd tell you whether I thought they were IC or OOC, and why if they were OOC.
Update please because updates keep the EVIL PONY's pet cookie monster happy (when its sad it destroys Tokyo with cookies)!
| Cat ated Ai-benders chapter 15 . 5/23/2009
Can you please update this? And if not this, just something, please?
I really like this chapter (and story), and your skill with OCs. They seem so real that I sometimes almost think that you could meet people like that in real life. Sometimes it even seems **cough** that they were based on real people **cough**.
I recognize your description of Kenneth Halden from your painting "True Love-A Broken Dream" in your DeviantArt gallery. Your main OC's life seems to be yours plus angst, emotional scars and Norm the Genie.
The canon characters are IC, in the chapters that contain them.
| Plot Device Man chapter 15 . 5/23/2009
I like this chapter, and since you characterized your OCs so well, I am perfectly okay with you introducing this many new characters in a fanfic. I have once added five MAJOR OCs in a non-posted fanfic, that aren't as well-characterized as your minor OCs.
The ad at the bottom of the page says:
Parks was on his own, in San Francisco, sixteen years old and just trying to survive. He wasn't looking for adventure.
Apparently Wishes is attractive to the crowd that likes whatever that's an ad for.
Please, please, please, UPDATE!
| Nonsense in the Elevator chapter 15 . 5/23/2009
So, Amanda woke up early, saw people partying, got her foot cut on a beautiful shell, flashbacked about a boy named Kenneth who she has crush on, met two perverts who asked her if she had an old man, met a woman that asked her to swim, said no, asked if it was dangerous, they said they knew the water and told them how old she was.
I liked the flashback. You are very good with detail.
Nice job with their accents. That really adds a lot to their characterization.
| 78901245869 chapter 15 . 5/23/2009
Oh yeah, and update!
| Santa Claus chapter 15 . 5/23/2009
Make sure to update your fanfiction, or you'll get COAL! Ho, ho, ho!
| iCraft chapter 15 . 5/15/2009
Lol, I think the two new characters are creepers. If I saw two old men walking toward me on the beach, drunk, and with southern accents, I'd run away. And if he asked me if I had an "old man," I'd kick him in his baby-maker. :) I think they're foes. They certainly wouldn't be MY friends. And just where was Norm this chapter? I missed him. :)
| bpmPswtrplphn chapter 15 . 5/14/2009
Great story. The characters are IC and your OCs are brilliant. However, your summary of "Norm's Story" has "rant about on fanficrants"-worthy WTF.
Norm the Genie's side of the story. ** It's lacking my usual style of humour, but then again, 'funny' isn't he mood I wanted to set **. Just a one-shot. Sort of a set up for my other fanfic, Wishes.
The WTF is in the *s. It is WTF because "Norm's Story" is categorized as Drama/Angst. I don't get why "lack of humor" is a valid warning on DRAMA/ANGST. Or not wanting to set a 'funny' mood. No one would ever reasonably expect Drama/Angst with a funny mood (though some people aren't reasonable).
I see why you might write that on something without fanfic's genre system, but with the genre system, it turns into WTF.
Yes, there are funny bits in Drama and Angst fics sometimes, but marking it Drama/Angst should be a good enough indicator that humor is not there or not the focus of the fanfic.
I have already started imagining possible jokes that would be made about it on fanficrants.
Despite your summary mishap, I liked "Norm's Story" and the insight it provided on Norm, and "Wishes".
| 78901245869 chapter 1 . 5/12/2009
Great story. Interesting OC. I just wonder if the comma in the sentence below was grammatically correct, but I believe it isn't.
"What're you, nuts?"
| Kitten Flavo chapter 15 . 5/11/2009
Great chapter. Norm just got added to the Draco In Leather Pants page on TV Tropes. Chase Young, Vlad and Crocker are on there too (as well as several other non-relevant to you villains). It even dared to put "enslavement" in quotations. TV Tropes seems to doubt that Norm is enslaved though I'm sure he is. This really shocked me since I believe you explained quite clearly why he is not really evil in Norm's Story *in my personal canon*.
Alright, I'm not reviewing you just to engage in fangirl wank over TV Tropes. One troper seemed to have accidently given it a hatred of Norm fangirls. It is oh damn for us all now! At least they haven't called his Normtards yet (though I shouldn't give them ideas).
You have good characterization of all the characters. I am kind of upset that Norm isn't in this chapter, but I'm fine with it. I really want an update with some Norm in it. Where is Norm anyway? On his date?
Hey, you have 90 reviews now!
Please update soon!
| Not bothering with a name chapter 15 . 5/11/2009
Great chapter. Amanda reminded me a bit of myself in this chapter. It is so good that I'm not sure if there is anything to concrit about. I'm surprised that the regular known guys aren't reviewing, but this rant might give us some insight into why they aren't reviewing despite this chapter's greatness:
Short Attention Span Theatre
To my dear darling readers -
I am writing a very long story, as you may have noticed. I have had past stories criticized because of the length of the chapters, so I have worked very hard to split the current story up into smallish chapters. Nice little 7 to 12 page chunks, that you can digest.
But as part of that chapter-splitting process, there is going to inevitably come a chapter where the lead characters do not have a very active role (because, for example, each of them is locked in a separate cell). In this particular story, that happened to be Chapter 14.
I mean, this is a long and complicated story and there is a lot going on. The lead characters got all of Chapter 13 to themselves; and I dropped a nice sting at the tail end of Chapter 14 about their upcoming peril(s) in Chapter 15. Which I must note, they also got all to themselves.
So why did 75% of you stop reading after Chapter 14?
Is it really that important that the leads are involved in every single teeny tiny thing that happens? Should I have had the crucial expository dialogue take place outside their cells for some reason, and have them all with their ears to the wall listening? (They are probably catching up on their sleep.) Isn't it all right just to have another character tell them the events in Chapter 14 later on?
Well I apologize if this hurts your feelings, dear readers, but I'm not rewriting Chapter 14. It would completely disrupt the flow, and be crushingly obvious. I will just chalk it up as another learning experience.
But I am a little disappointed that so many of you are interested only in the characters, and not in the story as a whole.
I find it strange that this was also your Chapter 14 and that you did the same thing, and the regular known reviewers responded the same way as his readers did with the subject of the rant. I guess Norm is quite the hook, aye?
Great story! Will ya update soon?
I'm not sure how those guys will become important to the plot.
| iPod snawon chapter 15 . 5/10/2009
Great chapter. I love how you develop your characters personalities and yeah, I miss NORM!
The Kenneth flashback was great. I once crushed on someone named Keaton (which also starts with K) and then he decided to ignore me. Now "Keatoning" is my new word for "ignoring when you desperately want them to pay attention to you".
The pervs were a bit random, but I guess there are people like that are on beaches.
I like how positively you respond to concrit. The "trope" quote you used at the beginning of this fanfic is the page quote for TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Vocabulary (yes, TV Tropes makes jokes about itself). A few lines from Chapter 8: Fairy World are a page quote for Even Evil Has Stands.
Great story! I'm eagerly awaiting the next update!
| GripperCaromPalin chapter 15 . 5/10/2009
I really pity you 'cause you have to share the page with DREW PICKLES GAY POPY BUTT RAPE PARTY by GaryCoIeman. If DPGPBRP was on the same page as one of my fanfics, I'd be pissed.
I like how this chapter gives more insight on Amanda's character. You sure have great OCs. Every one of them seems real and alive, like someone you might meet somewhere, and you portray the canon characters awesomely!
This is a wonderful, utterly cool, TV Tropes Recommended fanfic that shouldn't be on the same page as DPGPBRP!