|Reviews for Wishes|
| Nonsense in the Elevator chapter 15 . 5/23/2009
So, Amanda woke up early, saw people partying, got her foot cut on a beautiful shell, flashbacked about a boy named Kenneth who she has crush on, met two perverts who asked her if she had an old man, met a woman that asked her to swim, said no, asked if it was dangerous, they said they knew the water and told them how old she was.
I liked the flashback. You are very good with detail.
Nice job with their accents. That really adds a lot to their characterization.
| 78901245869 chapter 15 . 5/23/2009
Oh yeah, and update!
| Santa Claus chapter 15 . 5/23/2009
Make sure to update your fanfiction, or you'll get COAL! Ho, ho, ho!
| iCraft chapter 15 . 5/15/2009
Lol, I think the two new characters are creepers. If I saw two old men walking toward me on the beach, drunk, and with southern accents, I'd run away. And if he asked me if I had an "old man," I'd kick him in his baby-maker. :) I think they're foes. They certainly wouldn't be MY friends. And just where was Norm this chapter? I missed him. :)
| bpmPswtrplphn chapter 15 . 5/14/2009
Great story. The characters are IC and your OCs are brilliant. However, your summary of "Norm's Story" has "rant about on fanficrants"-worthy WTF.
Norm the Genie's side of the story. ** It's lacking my usual style of humour, but then again, 'funny' isn't he mood I wanted to set **. Just a one-shot. Sort of a set up for my other fanfic, Wishes.
The WTF is in the *s. It is WTF because "Norm's Story" is categorized as Drama/Angst. I don't get why "lack of humor" is a valid warning on DRAMA/ANGST. Or not wanting to set a 'funny' mood. No one would ever reasonably expect Drama/Angst with a funny mood (though some people aren't reasonable).
I see why you might write that on something without fanfic's genre system, but with the genre system, it turns into WTF.
Yes, there are funny bits in Drama and Angst fics sometimes, but marking it Drama/Angst should be a good enough indicator that humor is not there or not the focus of the fanfic.
I have already started imagining possible jokes that would be made about it on fanficrants.
Despite your summary mishap, I liked "Norm's Story" and the insight it provided on Norm, and "Wishes".
| 78901245869 chapter 1 . 5/12/2009
Great story. Interesting OC. I just wonder if the comma in the sentence below was grammatically correct, but I believe it isn't.
"What're you, nuts?"
| Kitten Flavo chapter 15 . 5/11/2009
Great chapter. Norm just got added to the Draco In Leather Pants page on TV Tropes. Chase Young, Vlad and Crocker are on there too (as well as several other non-relevant to you villains). It even dared to put "enslavement" in quotations. TV Tropes seems to doubt that Norm is enslaved though I'm sure he is. This really shocked me since I believe you explained quite clearly why he is not really evil in Norm's Story *in my personal canon*.
Alright, I'm not reviewing you just to engage in fangirl wank over TV Tropes. One troper seemed to have accidently given it a hatred of Norm fangirls. It is oh damn for us all now! At least they haven't called his Normtards yet (though I shouldn't give them ideas).
You have good characterization of all the characters. I am kind of upset that Norm isn't in this chapter, but I'm fine with it. I really want an update with some Norm in it. Where is Norm anyway? On his date?
Hey, you have 90 reviews now!
Please update soon!
| Not bothering with a name chapter 15 . 5/11/2009
Great chapter. Amanda reminded me a bit of myself in this chapter. It is so good that I'm not sure if there is anything to concrit about. I'm surprised that the regular known guys aren't reviewing, but this rant might give us some insight into why they aren't reviewing despite this chapter's greatness:
Short Attention Span Theatre
To my dear darling readers -
I am writing a very long story, as you may have noticed. I have had past stories criticized because of the length of the chapters, so I have worked very hard to split the current story up into smallish chapters. Nice little 7 to 12 page chunks, that you can digest.
But as part of that chapter-splitting process, there is going to inevitably come a chapter where the lead characters do not have a very active role (because, for example, each of them is locked in a separate cell). In this particular story, that happened to be Chapter 14.
I mean, this is a long and complicated story and there is a lot going on. The lead characters got all of Chapter 13 to themselves; and I dropped a nice sting at the tail end of Chapter 14 about their upcoming peril(s) in Chapter 15. Which I must note, they also got all to themselves.
So why did 75% of you stop reading after Chapter 14?
Is it really that important that the leads are involved in every single teeny tiny thing that happens? Should I have had the crucial expository dialogue take place outside their cells for some reason, and have them all with their ears to the wall listening? (They are probably catching up on their sleep.) Isn't it all right just to have another character tell them the events in Chapter 14 later on?
Well I apologize if this hurts your feelings, dear readers, but I'm not rewriting Chapter 14. It would completely disrupt the flow, and be crushingly obvious. I will just chalk it up as another learning experience.
But I am a little disappointed that so many of you are interested only in the characters, and not in the story as a whole.
I find it strange that this was also your Chapter 14 and that you did the same thing, and the regular known reviewers responded the same way as his readers did with the subject of the rant. I guess Norm is quite the hook, aye?
Great story! Will ya update soon?
I'm not sure how those guys will become important to the plot.
| iPod snawon chapter 15 . 5/10/2009
Great chapter. I love how you develop your characters personalities and yeah, I miss NORM!
The Kenneth flashback was great. I once crushed on someone named Keaton (which also starts with K) and then he decided to ignore me. Now "Keatoning" is my new word for "ignoring when you desperately want them to pay attention to you".
The pervs were a bit random, but I guess there are people like that are on beaches.
I like how positively you respond to concrit. The "trope" quote you used at the beginning of this fanfic is the page quote for TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Vocabulary (yes, TV Tropes makes jokes about itself). A few lines from Chapter 8: Fairy World are a page quote for Even Evil Has Stands.
Great story! I'm eagerly awaiting the next update!
| GripperCaromPalin chapter 15 . 5/10/2009
I really pity you 'cause you have to share the page with DREW PICKLES GAY POPY BUTT RAPE PARTY by GaryCoIeman. If DPGPBRP was on the same page as one of my fanfics, I'd be pissed.
I like how this chapter gives more insight on Amanda's character. You sure have great OCs. Every one of them seems real and alive, like someone you might meet somewhere, and you portray the canon characters awesomely!
This is a wonderful, utterly cool, TV Tropes Recommended fanfic that shouldn't be on the same page as DPGPBRP!
| unknown20troper chapter 15 . 5/10/2009
So, Kenneth is one of her old boyfriends. Your OC sure likes bad boys.
The sentence about cheating on tests provides insight into her pushover nature. Some pervs hit on her. I am not sure how they could be important to the plot.
I know as much about "beer-guts" as you know about "tropes".
Anyway, the ad below your story is advertising Trickster R.E.V.O.L.U.T.I.O.N, which reminds me of Norm. I am only slightly upset about the lack of Norm in this chapter.
Good story! Update soon!
P.S-the TV Tropes Wiki definition of "trope" is:
Tropes are storytelling devices and conventions that a writer can reasonably rely on as being present in the audience members' minds and expectations.
You Found Me by The Fray just came on. I have for some reason associated it with Wishes. Well, I have a weird mind that likes make weird associations.
| iPod snawon chapter 14 . 5/10/2009
Great conversation. So, Norm is finally being thanked for something.
Norm doesn't trust Ki'lua. Well, isn't he a hypocrite? He messed up all of Timmy's wishes in Genie Meanie Minie Moe, trapped Timmy's fairies in his lamp to escape his lamp, tried to kill Timmy for an entire episode, put Crocker on Mars, tricked Chester and the Mayor, has been described as "untrustworthy but good", hit Timmy's fairies with a wrecking ball and considered giving Amanda a "downfall" to attain his freedom, and yet he thinks Ki'lua is untrustworthy.
I think Ki'lua might be trustworthy and Norm is just jealous but denying it with any notion he can think of.
The characters are IC.
Good story! Update soon!
| iPod snawon chapter 13 . 5/10/2009
Good description of your OC from Norm's perspective. It was cute how Norm taught her how to surf.
So, "Hawaii's Skimpiest Bikini Squad" thinks Amanda is Norm's little sister. WTF! That will cause problems when they have a relationship (everyone knows they will have one). Her parents think he's her teacher, "HSBS" thinks they are siblings and Ki'lua thinks Norm is Amanda's chaperone. The notion of Norm accompanying someone to make sure they don't have ... amuses me.
Interesting argument. I wonder if your OC is aware that *squicky thought commences* Norm was flirting with the last generation of "HSBS" and maybe even ...ing them too. My mind can be such a P-E-R-V.
The characters were IC.
| iPod snawon chapter 10 . 5/10/2009
Don't worry. Norm was In Character in this chapter, but I just forgot to say so. You have 80 or more reviews. Wouldn't it be time to update about now?
| iPod snawon chapter 12 . 5/10/2009
I like how these lines express Norm's Trickster nature:
He looked out into the water, then- "Hey, uh, you surf?" he asked, standing up and extending his hand down to her.
"Er- no," she said, taking his hand cautiously and allowing him to pull her to her feet.
"Me neither! Let's do it, huh?" he suggested with a genuine excitement.
"But I can't-"
"Ap ap ap!" he silenced her, waving a finger in the air disapprovingly. "Can't or shan't, kid? From what I can tell, you're scared to even try!"
He was teasing her! Trying to needle her into it-!
"I am NOT scared!" she protested, turning beet-red.
He smiled. Too easy. "Oh really?" he said in a mockingly disdainful tone. "Why don't you prove it?"
"Fine!"she said hotly, determined to take on the challenge. She would prove she wasn't scared-! She was, but no way would she let Norm know that!
Who is Se? Why'd 'se bent down'? Oh, you meant 'she'. You should have remembered to press the 'h' key. S-H-E.
Not too much else to say about this chapter, and I am fine with the chapter's fluffy perspective switches.
The characters are IC.