|Reviews for Diana|
| mbembet chapter 1 . 7/20/2014
i just found out about this fic and it's awesome i love BMWW :D
if only you had put it on JL section it will got more reviews i'm sure
| GhostLucy chapter 1 . 7/18/2014
Don't worry its
| The Winged Guardian chapter 1 . 1/4/2013
AWESOME STORY! I love it! its SOOO funny! and i LOVE how you but the sidekicks in it! not many people do that! :)
| Naty X-X chapter 1 . 12/6/2011
Ah, and by the way, who is this English teacher down there? ( you know, the guy who corrected each of your mistakes)
| Naty X-X chapter 1 . 12/6/2011
Here, your 5th review.
Anyway, great fic!
| indracon chapter 1 . 4/16/2010
This was really quite good. My only complaint is that the ending felt a bit rushed but on the whole you did an awesome job! :D
| emberrox42 chapter 1 . 8/3/2008
hee hee... love it!
| Marth HEART Smallville chapter 1 . 7/3/2008
It's wierd how Diana dosen't like men. . . but she'll fall for Bruce. I always kinda found that odd (it's not just your story). Great story! Also, I joined Phantom Wolf, so I'll see you there!
| Lorendiac chapter 1 . 6/19/2008
There were things I found amusing in this story - including Alfred fussing about nutrition, Wonder Woman throwing a fit when she first meets Batman and learns he already gave away the clowns she'd taken prisoner, Robin ostentatiously displaying a bruise as he summarizes what little he learned about Wonder Woman after he was assigned to follow her around, Hera actually needing to assure Diana that not all men are so bad as she seems to think, and so forth. (Which I thought was extremely open-minded of Hera, considering the lecherous specimen she's married to!)
One bit that particularly struck me was when Batman told Dick and Barbara he had a date that evening, so he wondered if they could handle patrol without him, and they both screamed "YES!" I found myself wondering why they were so extremely excited about that prospect . . . were both of them eagerly looking forward to spending some time together without Batman along as a third wheel? Sorta like going on a date without a chaperone? Or was there some other reason they liked the idea of getting to patrol without him? (Maybe they're just tired of his constantly giving them orders out in the field, and want to see what they can do without his micromanagement?)
Now for the Obligatory Nitpicking portion of our program! (I have a proud reputation to maintain in that department!)
There were several little problems which kept nagging at me as I went through your story. Without trying to edit every single line you wrote, I'm just going to concentrate on a few examples of where there's room for improvement in your punctuation. When I quote passages from a story, I usually put the quoted text inside a pair of asterisks to make it easier to see which words are yours and which are mine.
* “Whacha doing?” Dick asked him
“Looking for the Joker,” replied Bruce *
Both of those short paragraphs needed periods at the end. Same problem happens elsewhere in this story, several times.
* “Yes Alfred” they replied at the same time. *
That should be:
“Yes, Alfred,” they replied at the same time.
The first comma (before "Alfred") is necessary in order to separate the name "Alfred" from anything else they are saying, to show the reader that "Alfred" is the person they are addressing, rather than just being part of what they are talking ABOUT. The second comma (right after "Alfred") is necessary to "replace" the period that would otherwise "normally" go at the end of a spoken sentence. In this case, it takes a comma because what I call "the longer sentence" isn't really over yet - the longer sentence includes both the spoken dialogue and the stuff following it which serves as a "tag" to tell us who actually said that dialogue. (that's how it works when the spoken part is immediately followed by a tag telling us who's speaking that dialogue. (The tag could be anything along the lines of "he said" or "Bruce asked" or, in this case: "they replied.")
The funny thing is that in some of the similar passages in this story, you got that part about the comma at the end of the dialogue-followed-by-a-tag just right - for instance, earlier, when you typed:
* “Looking for the Joker,” replied Bruce *
You had the comma after "Joker" exactly right (even though you forgot the period after "Bruce").
But there were other times when you got it wrong again, leaving out the comma you needed at the end of some spoken dialogue, as in:
* “Good job, Batman” the Commissioner told him when the police arrived. *
That needed a comma after "Batman."
And on a similar note, we have this passage:
* “How will I? Mother Goddess, I have no proof that can be considered worthy in Man’s World.” Diana reminded the deity humbly. *
Since the dialogue is immediately followed by the tag "Diana reminded," telling us who is speaking those words, the words in quotation marks should have ended with a comma instead of a period.