|Reviews for An Old Evil Returns: Return of the Brain|
| Peonywinx chapter 7 . 8/27/2010
I have another compliment for you - you're persistent. Even with only one review, you charged right on and posted your story anyway. Good for you! I know how discouraging it can be not to get any reviews, but you didn't let that stop you. That's the mark of a successful person. Successful people (and this goes for writers too) persevere in their attempts, no matter how hard or discouraging it gets.
This story is an improvement over its prequel - the build-up was done much better here, and there were less repetitions and grammar mistakes. I didn't spot a single punctuation error (although you did mispell just a few words - no matter, everyone overlooks things), so well done on that. The "to which" phrases didn't look so out of place here, but keep an eye on them - they're not really grammatically correct in the way you've been using them.
Despite these minor mistakes, the plot remained true to its compelling nature and the characters were better written this time round. The train slowed down too - considerably, I'd say, so kudos on that. Now I see my previous review might be outdated, as you've clearly already improved.
All in all, good job! I enjoyed the read. Both stories were quite fascinating and captured and held my attention to the end. Well done!
| Hidden Iris chapter 3 . 6/20/2008
Hm.. This sounds pretty good! I can't wait to read more.