|Reviews for The Bride Of Sesshomaru|
| Trelweny Rosephoenixwolf chapter 5 . 9/30/2009
Well that was... interesting. Fukai is a cute character. Odd way to end the story... it seems incomplete the way it stopped. Like cutting out at intermission. But if the muse is gone, the muse is gone. Personally, I think it would have felt more complete ending it at the last chapter. The 5th chapter feels like it's leading somewhere even with the author's note that states otherwise.
Anyway, thanks for writing!
| Hannahmgp chapter 1 . 6/23/2008
I like it! YAAY! Wahoo, feel the burn! I like how your story is not crap. Okay, that sounds weird. What I mean is, no outrageous spelling/grammar mistakes! It seems very interesting! What color are Fukai's eyes? DON'T ABANDON THIS STORY! I've seen that happen way too many times.
| SugaSugashi chapter 1 . 6/22/2008
The story line is definitely interesting. I certain look forward to the next chapters. I love the opening sentences, and also the scene where Sesshomaru came to pick up Fukai.
A few suggestions:
_Use more pronounces. "She" instead of Fukai for example. If you use the names too much, it gets confusing.
_Connect your sentences more, do not also start with: SubjectVerbaction or adj. use more "and" "but" "when" "as." Just do not overdo it. These will give your paragraphs a nicer flow.