|Reviews for A Black Rose For You|
| chaoscrow chapter 2 . 4/28/2011
Ummmm... Your writing is a little hard to understand. You should put description alone with your dialoge because I have no idea what's going on by reading this.
| Oddlypessimistic chapter 2 . 9/2/2010
| Aero Lynx chapter 1 . 11/17/2009
I don't think Train is a 'anywho' kind of guy he's more of a 'anyway' guy
| Vita-de-Incendia chapter 2 . 7/8/2009
hi~! me again - nice so far! but w ay~ too fast! slow down a bit and get a more.. composed? story. so the reader can comprehend the story and become an active reader instead of struggling to figure out what you are saying! but.. again, all-in-all.. great job! and dont forget to work hard and dont give up! ja ne~~!
| Vita-de-Incendia chapter 1 . 7/8/2009
um yeah.. *cough* just some constructive critisim.. (if you dont mind.. sorry *scratches head sheepishly*)you should probably get a beta reader... (it will really help) but first of all.. try using a writing style that DOESNT include JUST dialogue. it is confusing and hard to follow. like...(example example.. i SUCK at examples XD haha.. sorry)(using an excert from your story.. in my own words kinda)
""Why?" Train asked, defiently crossing his arms and scowling. Sven sighed and took a deep breath through his light cigarette. Sadly, all were oblivious to the fact I had suddenly dissappeared; to engrossed were they in their squabble.
"Help!" I cried causing them to shift their attention to my pervious occupied spot.
"That's why," Sven answered throwing Train an 'I-told-you-so' look."
haha.. sorry for the awful example.. and if it is annoying or insulting to you(for the lack of a better wrd...) - im pretty good at insulting people.. *sigh* even though i dont try... ANYWAY... and also, you dont have to use a 'she said, he said' after each set of quotes.. as long as the speaker is apparent. (try not to use mary sues either..rite a sort of.. prologue to show the persons connection to the story.. or a more detailed description of their surcomstances of being there... you know? ) but all in all.. its a good story and has GREAT potential never give up and just keep trying! need help or anything with your stories.. just ask! *waves* ja ne~~! (ps... my spelling is AWFUL... but thats what a spell check is for XD nvm nvm.. sayonara!)
| CrimsonThreadOfFate chapter 2 . 4/26/2009
i usually like crossovers no matter how suckish BUT-this is constructive criticism by the way-your writing style is hard to understand, you put random crap every time you get the chance and it's your character is kinda a mary sue
DON'T HATE ME PLEASE!