|Reviews for Fates Intertwined|
| Vita Venio chapter 10 . 8/1/2008
The end comments always amuse me. Very nice update; poor Callie, the moments of panic related to each realization have to be so jarring and not having her father around anymore... Fantastically written. You do well with using all the characters to work with each other. Great update.
I have to go back and edit some things in my story but would you like me to email you some of the chapters for future reference or email you the basic outline of my story?
And keep up those rocking updates!
| NicolinaN chapter 9 . 7/28/2008
'breathes again' That was a LONG time!
Oh, God! They finally met! And what a meeting! I'm feeling like a puddle of jelly right now, wanting more of those sparks but unsure whether my poor brain could take it.
"She didn’t have a chance.
They rounded some corner, and her ankle twisted in her rush. She made only a light fumble, but it was enough. He slammed into her from behind, and mashed her into a wall, taking the breath from her lungs."
Beautiful! Took the air right out of MY lungs.
"“Stop it,” he ordered her in a harsh, breathy voice. He was so close to her – bodies locked together, almost like lovers, but brutal. She could suddenly feel every inch of him touching every inch of her, and intimately – bones grinding, his thigh between her legs, pinning her hard."
Umpf! I love every inch of this picture... especially his thigh between her legs! 'moans'
"A closet. He’d found a closet"
LMAO! Isn't that closet getting crowded? With the author in there and all?
"And to her astonishment, he chuckled. “No, sweetie, it’s you that doesn’t know.” And then he kissed her.
She protested with a loud, angry whimper – as loud as it could get with his lips squashed over hers. He pulled back, sure now that he had her full attention. He kept his eyes level with hers, his face only an inch away from hers."
NO! Why did you stop? More!
I'm gonna re-read this chapter every day until I get a new one. :D
And Rochester everything... 'shudders' I hope Vincent kills him slowly and PAINFULLY!
| highland girl 1592 chapter 7 . 7/27/2008
Of!Poor Jackson gets clobbered and then Callie's dad gets killed and Callie is about to get whacked by a pyscho.I hope Vincent gets there in the way,which side is Jackson on? Did he tell Rochester where Callie is? If so,give Jackson a punch in the jaw for me! Ironhead? lol.
| angrw chapter 8 . 7/24/2008
Aw, how could Jackson ever be a pain in anyone's ass? Oh, yeah, maybe his targets could answer that...
So Laurie is smitten with Callie. That sure does complicate things. Usually that means that he's now vulnerable, not only to his emotions, but also to those who want to get to Callie. Fingers crossed for him, this Rochester guy is a real feral beast...
When Callie looks at Vincent with hatred, your brief description of his feelings was worth a thousand words. "He’d been looked at like that a few times in his life. Also by someone he’d had an emotional attachment too. It felt the same. He was surprised." There's the detachment, but also pain buried deep in his memory. Very Vincent. And a subtle way to show us a little of his past.
Thanks for another exciting chapter, I can't wait until your next post. And if Jackson gives you trouble again, you can send him to me, I'll put him in his place.
| NicolinaN chapter 8 . 7/24/2008
I'm surprised Vincent didn't kill Laurie and Bill... but relieved too. :)
And Callie! Don't run from him, run TO him, he's the only safe place to be right now!
The pain in this chapter, Ray's and then Laurie's, and Callie's, was utterly well written. It made my stomach clench. :(
Finally a little Vincent/Callie, but damn! that was little! I can't WAIT for the next chapter. :jumps up and down: I'm gonna hold my breath until you post it. I'm starting now.
| NicolinaN chapter 7 . 7/23/2008
The chapter title combined with the end of the chapter... :shudders:
And a Jackson alert! Yay! :crowd goes wild:
Again, Max, the cab, the dialogue. I love the hints. :)
"He was never quite sure exactly what Jackson did, except for the obvious gathering of intel, at which, admittedly, Jackson was quite good. He knew he didn’t like him much – Jackson was a talker. That was probably part of his job, but still, Vincent didn’t have to like it. Still, Jackson was no wimp either, and like or not, he respected him."
:sighs: Oh, Jackson...
“What is it, Rippner?” Vincent asked, coming closer. He aimed higher, so that Jackson was staring down the barrel of the gun. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“I haven’t told you anything,” Jackson replied, shrugging. “You’re so smart, you’ve figured everything out for yourself.”
LOVE the dialogue! Very Jackson, but in another setting which is all very exciting! Very, very Vincent.
Jackson stared upward, not meeting Vincent’s eyes. “Peter’s going to be very pissed if you kill me,” he said calmly. “Even you, I’m sure, have limits.”
I can SEE his pale blue eyes reflecting the streetlights in that dark kitchen, and his cool attitude...
:looks sour: You HIT him! :(
The whole thing with Rochester and Callie's father is giving me nightmares.
Almost everything he says in that kitchen is horrifyingly cruel, but THIS takes the price:
"Or you’re going to die knowing that before she joins you, whatever you suffer will be nothing compared to what she’s going to endure. She’s nobody to me. I can think of a million different ways to soil her before I’m done. You’re a cop – you’ve seen the filthy things a man can do to a woman. Imagine all of them, on your precious…baby…girl.”"
That is so... wah! I have no words.
The last sentence is really all that is needed... Bless you for saving us from the horror.
LOVE your banter at the end! :) Cheered me up just a little.
| NicolinaN chapter 6 . 7/23/2008
I wince when I read about Annie. In Lost In Space I literally jumped from the shock when Vincent did shoot her, and I will never forget the words: 'the muffled cry of death' they'll haunt me until I die.
I love the little winks at the movie:
“Max is the guy driving the cab that Vincent almost got into before he got into mine,” Callie said a bit too loudly. “It could have been Max’s night of hell on earth instead of mine, and maybe he could have saved Annie. He liked her, you know. They were gonna date.”
I was SURE something was gonna happen at the ladies room, and GOD, you do drunk Callie well!
So, who does Lupe? Eva Mendez?
Rochester... :grits teeth: If he came up to ME he would lose all HIS teeth!
"Just don’t kill him, V. He’s very valuable to me.”
Yeah, we're several out here who agrees with that... V!
| NicolinaN chapter 5 . 7/23/2008
Muahahahaha! You're kidding me! Harlequine books?
"Normally, he didn’t care much. He had his I-pod and his jazz, he had a good book to flip through when he got bored – he hated spy novels, it was either too close to work or it was so ridiculously off that he was insulted."
But being a doctor, I can most certainly relate to being unable to watch, or read, certain things, medical for my part, because of the same reasons. But most of the time because it is just too far from the truth.
Rochester... Oh My God! You make him sound SO awful in just a few lines:
"Rochester, however. He was like the big bad wolf. He liked to play with his food. He liked to shit where he ate. He was a particularly nasty piece of work, and the thought of him getting his hands on Callie made Vincent squirm."
That made ME squirm!
Bill is Nathan Fillion? :D He is the CUTEST!
And I SO want a Vincent in a closet!
| angrw chapter 7 . 7/19/2008
SJ, as long as you let Jackson keep his pretty face and all of his faculties (please don't let Vincent "pull an Annie" on him, 'kay, thanks!), I'm a happy camper. I think Jackson needs a clonk on the head every now and then, just to keep down the smug.
Fantastic chapter, the tension in the scene with Ray, Sr. was so well-written. Rochester's one slimy bastard, and Ray, Sr. was remarkably tough to make the choice he did. You didn't need to resort to graphic descriptions of the violence to give a clear image of the result, which is a testament to your ability as a writer.
Stellar work, I can't wait for the next chapter!
| Vita Venio chapter 6 . 7/14/2008
I do like Rochester, very slick so far. Always enjoy Ray in anything (I ridiculously crushed on that actor in Collateral but nothing else). Anyway, very nice with slipping in Trent a bit, poor thing is tied up.. with rope... Um, in things, business, you know. I really should work on my own fic seeing as yours is coming along so nicely. So much to do! Keep up the updates, they're fabulous.
| angrw chapter 6 . 7/14/2008
I love the instant comraderie between Ray and Bill and Ray and Lupe. You've given a full personality to a character who was unfortunately downplayed in the film. And after your first introduction to "Chess," I imagine Robert Downey, Jr. playing the oily bastard, haha.
Even with Ray and Bill as her bodyguards, I'm a little worried for Callie, there are too many creeps out there who don't have her best interests at heart. But what could possibly go wrong at the Olive Garden, other than being served not-so-fresh breadsticks?
I cannot wait until your next chapter update. Please continue the story soon!
| angrw chapter 5 . 7/14/2008
Ugh, I shuddered at this (which is good, because I'm sure that's what you intended):
"But Rochester had…ticks. Ticks were dangerous for men like them. Vincent killed because he was skilled at it; he could do it, quick, clean, neat, and no fuss. He took no pleasure in it, but he took no pain as well.
Rochester, however. He was like the big bad wolf. He liked to play with his food. He liked to shit where he ate. He was a particularly nasty piece of work, and the thought of him getting his hands on Callie made Vincent squirm."
If Vincent is uncomfortable about this dude, he must be BIG trouble. Your description of his bad work habits, as seen through Vincent's eyes, was a perfect foretelling of the nastiness that is to come...
Thank you for another great chapter, you are skillfully building the tension for the action!
| angrw chapter 4 . 7/14/2008
Oh, sweet baby Jesus, Rippner has arrived! Thank you for giving him a place in this story, he fits in well as the info-guy. And I almost swooned right out of my chair when I read Callie's fresh description of Jackson:
"She looked up at him again, and was struck by the brightness and the roundness of his eyes. Glacier-blue. Brilliant. He had the appearance of someone who had just come in from the cold, with his high cheeks a soft pink, and his mouth a full coral-rose pout. He was attractive, she had to admit."
Attractive? That's putting it mildly. Vincent really f-ed up her perception of male beauty, huh?
I find it symbolic that Vincent's prints would be identified at this point, just when he is finally gaining some humanity of his own volition. It's as if he had no prints before he met Callie, but now they show up as damnable proof of his existence as a man, not just a killing machine. Beautiful!
Again, thank you for writing this story and updating so quickly!
| angrw chapter 3 . 7/14/2008
Great chapter! You portray Vincent accurately as cold, but with a reason to his lack of emotions: he has led a very empty life and Callie has been the only true diversion he's experienced. You conveyed Vincent's rationality for not killing Callie and continuing to care for her so well here:
"And then she had tried to get away from him. The pure brass balls of that move had impressed him. Impressed him so much, that he hadn’t killed her.
Like he should have.
Sure, he reprimanded her. Just because he liked spunk didn’t mean he could tolerate it. And it seemed that made it better, made it more fun. Breaking her spirit, taming the beast, just made it that much more interesting.
Because the job had not been interesting. Not for a long time had it been interesting. That was why he was off that night, he told himself. He was bored. He was limited. He was asking himself if this was all he was, just a hired, if very expensive, gun. Just a machine that took lives. Wasn’t there anything else of meaning?
And why hadn’t he ever cared before?
So he worked on her. As if she was the personification of that thing inside of him, curling and squirming and trying to get out. The more she fought, the more he enjoyed it. The harder he had to press, the more attractive she became.
She was still fighting."
This story is going to be fun, I can tell. Please continue to post new chapters!
| angrw chapter 2 . 7/14/2008
After all this time off from writing her, yet you still keep Callie's character true to the original. She's incredible, can I just say that? Tough, funny, and with extremely strong morals, the kind of girl I would want for my best friend. She's the type to live through something horrific, have some trouble dealing with it emotionally, but yet you still know that she will turn out okay, regardless.
Could Laurie possibly be an homage to Hugh Laurie/Dr. House? That's how I envision him, anyway. And I don't even watch House.
And Annie has good taste...Aragorn is the only reason I could sit through that trilogy in the theater! And she has only Callie's read-out-loud version of Aragorn-I couldn't stand to have to imagine for myself sexy Viggo Mortensen playing the character!
Thanks for another chapter!