|Reviews for Empty|
| Miles333 chapter 1 . 9/29/2010
That was brilliant. I really think you captured both Will and Allan perfectly. Nice work! :D
| hippie-girl 31 chapter 1 . 9/25/2008
Really good. I think you brilliantly captured the tortured regret that Will and Allan both must have felt, though for different reasons, of course. The show did too little to showcase the pain and emptiness that Allan betrayal must have left Will feeling. Great Job!
| The North Wyn chapter 1 . 9/12/2008
Aww! How sad! I hadn't thought too hard about the void Allan would have left and the show doesn't touch on the subtle nuances of their emotions. You do a fabulous job of that here.
My favorite parts:
They all loved Allan, and they trusted him, but Djaq also believed in him. - I think you hit the nail on the head here. Djaq knew Allan was a traitor, but still she wanted to believe he was still good.
"I wish I could hate him," Will whispers, and he can't tell if it's a confession or a regret.
"Yes," Djaq says, a response as muddled as his statement. "I think Allan wishes that, too." - Again, I think you capture their emotions perfectly.
I also like the bit with Allan - his conversation with Guy is very in character; I can hear him say that. It's so sad with him huddling on the bed, alone in the darkness.
| Bunny1 chapter 1 . 8/19/2008
| bostonchickadee chapter 1 . 6/19/2008
I absolutely loved the imagery of these lines:
"Their regrets and longings have not been laid to rest, but they have been placed in the empty space beside them"
"watching the candle flame flicker like his beliefs, back and forth until it finally goes out"
This was really well-written but I hope you won't mind me pointing out a couple of places where I got a little confused with the writing:
"Guy doesn't answer him because he has already walked away, frustration Allan is beginning to understand better than he would ever have liked to in his every step" - I had to read this twice before I understood what was meant and since you're making a nice point here about Guy's and Allan's impatience with their respective situations and each other, it might be worth expressing that point using a simpler sentence structure.
Also: "Robin's voice echoes unsettling..." - I'm wondering if this should be "unsettlingly"?
I liked the implication that Will and Djaq may have to deal with the spatial emptiness left by Allan's absence (which they can fill to some extent with each other) whereas poor misguided Allan's emptiness pervades his entire existence now that he has been cast out of the gang.
| Iellix chapter 1 . 6/19/2008
Wow. This is so sad and beautiful. I especially love the lines between Djaq and Will: "I wish I could hate him" "Yes, I think Allan wishes that, too." It's so perfect, because Will simply isn't the type to hate. Neither of them are. The last bit with Allan really makes me feel so badly for him, because he's all alone. I STILL don't know whether to feel sorry for him or yell at him-generally, I do both.