|Reviews for Journey of the Three Failures|
| Fenix Maelstrom chapter 24 . 9/7
I've actually been reading this story for a long time now. Probably since about chapter 13. I know I never reviewed, and I can't really make an excuse for that, but I wanted to share my thoughts with you here.
Neji's had a slow but steady crawl down the rabbit hole, and honestly how you've portrayed that is beyond impressive. Every time I see you swap perspectives it leaves the riveting question in my head: What's about to happen.
Your storyline is gold. I can't honestly say I've seen more unique ideas thrown into any single fanfic without completely blowing it out of the universe it was set in.
Now that being said, you have a tendency to draw out fights. This isn't a bad thing - people tend to forget that these ninja have both incredible power and stamina - but, and I say this with untmost incredulity, your fight scenes (both graphic and amazing) actually start to take away from the awesome story you've written. I've been finding myself wanting to skip the fight scenes to get to more story, but am unable to do so, because you have a tendency to throw inportant details into both the fight and its aftermath.
Overall, I love the story. I love the depth. Ihlove the character development. And I'm definitely going to be reading more of your work.
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/18
Shino is calm and stoic it is haerd to imagine he would do something like that
| ThePerfectRe chapter 1 . 5/10
well... i loved it. it was very nicely paced and the war between the rookies was unexpected as well as the adults doing nothing.. sigh... oh well guess it will be explained what they were doing while three of their genin suffered horribly under their watch
| Rancorium chapter 32 . 3/25
Thank you for your hard work, dedication, and creativity wroth this story. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Reading it from start to finish really gives a glimpse as to how you grew as a writer. Sometimes there were things that were a little odd; in the beginning chapters you would use incorrect tenses for "lay/lie/laid/lying" -irksome for a grammar fiend like me, and some of your fight scene carried on a bit long. Those points aside, your plot was unique and kept me entertained all the while. Thank you again for sharing with the community. Now is time to check out the DA account for pictures :)
| Yuru Yuri chapter 1 . 3/24
Hands down the best fic EVER!
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/13
yyour doing fine
| Xenovista chapter 1 . 2/26
Speaking as a fellow fan of Hinata, I'm glad to see works centric to her (I agree with your proclamation. If I were writing the Manga she would have had a larger role).
I can see you've put in a lot of time and effort into this already with all these chapters. I will strongly suggest going back and editing/rewriting. You did capture Neji's essence of what might happen if Naruto hadn't beaten/befriended him.
| The Flare Blade chapter 32 . 2/21
I have picked this story a few days ago, and what a ride it was. I really enjoyed seeing the adventures of the failures, as well as Neji, Hanabi and even Sasuke (who managed to worm his way into the main cast quite well despite almost never having his viewpoint shared - for excellent reasons).
The dynamic between Hinata and Kurogiba/Neji/Naruto was done wonderfully, much better than the nonsense that happened between Naruto and Sasuke in canon (in particular because those two, unlike Neji and Hinata, hardly had enough a bond to justify Naruto's behavior). The world building was done well, too, and your characters were incredible to read as.
But I must saw something... you managed to craft a story that was simply too GOOD to be properly told by our current mediums. Why do I say this? Well... The way you get into the minds of the characters and detail their thoughts, their surroundings and their actions is great! Very full of details and well-thought... But it clashes horribly when applied to your fight scenes. They ruin the pace of the fights, and the actual conflict between the fighters. It slows them down to a crawl, and unless you imagine everything in slow motion, it gets hard to get a feel for the fight.
Sometimes, simpler is better.
This issue was glaringly evident in the final Neji vs Hinata fight. That battle was undoubtedly fast-paced, but it dragged for so long that the effect is lost in any reader that respects your work enough to read it fully. I must admit, as much as I'm ashamed of practically spitting on your hard work by skipping a great deal of the fights (much more as the fic progressed), I believe the experience was better for me in the end when I just skipped straight to the next portion of dialogue. This did backfire on me for a bit, because I have not much of an idea of how MANY of the abilities you gave to everyone work since I probably missed their descriptions... but eh.
Although I praised your characters, I feel like Lee was a bit of a weak point in your fic. His story wasn't compelling enough when compared to anyone else.
Your Naruhina was excellently done... but... after the curveball at the end of the Neji vs Hinata fight, their only big scene together didn't give me any closure. It gave a feeling of "that's it? really...?"
Tenten and Sasuke suffer from similar issues, even though the former was barely ever seen when you consider how big this work is. I feel like an actual epilogue a few years down the line, after the whole issue of Hinata's marriage to Neji is resolved, was necessary to tie those loose ends.
One particular loose end i see here is the akatsuki. While understandably not the main focus of the story, their plans do directly conflict with THREE people of the main cast, and a glimpse into the future could have mentioned how they were dealt with (with Kabuto and Orochi dead, the whole Madara thing would play much differently...).
Still, you did an excellent work here. You began this when your were 14, yes? This is not a perfect work, but it never needed to be. It's still amazing, and I hope that you are still proud of this even as you read my critics. Thank you for posting this.
| crusade chapter 3 . 2/14
really good, though i just hate reading about how weak naruto is... hope it changes if not quick then i cant read it, its like an ocd i have...
| crusade chapter 1 . 2/14
great story, though the part where they cant do anything to the civiloans that attack them os kinda dumb... its a shinobi village and the village needs shinlbi to function, it wouldnt make sense to jist let civilians attack them and not let the shinobi truly defend themselves and aprehend the civilians.
this kinda pit me off... though it seems pretty good so i will try anyway
| nanoha chapter 32 . 1/1
This is without a doubt, the BEST FIC EVER!
Happy New Year!
I look forward to more from u in the future.
| pedrolino4 chapter 4 . 9/6/2015
One of the best action sequence so far
| overlordford1 chapter 7 . 8/30/2015
I'm only on chapter 8 but this story is freaking amazing. I love the ploy and the story. How u portray everyone is just great. Keep doing what your doing because I haven't read a story this unique but still good quality in a while.
| Blitzstrahl chapter 1 . 8/22/2015
The idea that these kids just roll over and accept daily beatings from civilians is absurd in the extreme.
| Deneo Okusaru chapter 32 . 8/18/2015
Okay I'll be honest, I don't often leave reviews when I should even though I know it helps the authors gauge interest. There was no way I could refrain from reviewing this story, however, even though it is finished. This was one of the best stories I have read in a long time, and I seriously applaud your ability to get into the minds of every character you wrote in this story. You took on the challenge of understanding so many conflicting view points in this story and did it exceptionally well. I found this story by luck and I am very glad I chose to read it and read all of the way through. Thank you for such a well written story when it seems like there are not many to be found. And if someone somehow reads this review and has not read the story yet, please read this story. It is well worth your time.