|Reviews for Not The Girl Dreams Are Made Of|
| hopelessromantic549 chapter 1 . 1/8/2010
| ameo chapter 1 . 6/22/2008
Okay, first of all, the beginning with the "dream girl" concept was great. Then...it didn't show through at all for the rest of the fic until the very last paragraph. Here's what I mean, it's an example I made up to show you:
Once upon a time a monkey liked bananas. He loved a girl named Sarah. But it wouldn't ever work out because he was a monkey and she was a human. He likes bananas.
See what I mean kinda? Hopefully that helped say what I meant. You have a really great idea with this dream girl/real girl thing-try and bring it throughout the ENTIRE story. The magazine was a perfect example for the dream girl/real girl concept! You don't have to continuously use the magazine (which you didn't btw), you can make subtle or even drastic mentions of the concept you've come up with. F.e. you could use SIRIUS for this concept, or even how Remus wishes he had a girl, or how Peter is hopeless around girls. Be creative! I HIGHLY suggest you re-edit this-this could definitely be a fantastic story if the theme showed through the entire way.
| Straight to Boston chapter 1 . 6/22/2008
awes! i love it.