|Reviews for Let me love you RIGHT VERSION YAY :!|
| somethingborrowed3 chapter 1 . 7/15/2008
Good job. Out of the fics that made it to that flamer below's C2, this is the first that has mastered quotation marks.
However, there are still some grammatical errors that require fixing.
First of all, each quote deserves its own paragraph, which means that: "Yuya scooped her up into his arms and kissed her. “Oh Yuya” she sighed. “Yes Ran- pyon” he said" Yes Ran-pyon should be in the next line.
Secondly, you need to use more context. Instead of just using "called" and teased" or saying nothing at all, you should make it longer. Honestly, I suggest you read some other people's fics and try to get an idea on how to write better. It will be very helpful and prevent you from getting flames again.
| Ainara aya chapter 1 . 6/28/2008
I like your story but you must to use your dictionary.
Do you know?
My grammar is very bad! So,I never write fanfic in English. Hehe..
Don't listen to Flamer Rising!
| otherrealmwriter chapter 1 . 6/23/2008
Okay. Not the greatest but could use a lot of work. I advise you to cut out the chatspeak out of stories. It will make your stories a lot better becasue you will be used to using proper English. This story was just all over the place and maybe not flame worthy but I don't like it all that much.
I think that title of yours could use some work. Take out the YAY and get RIGHT VERSION out. Maybe "Let Me Love You" would be good enough.
| Chiby Angel-chan chapter 1 . 6/23/2008
Ah, that flamer again. Don't listen to him, whatever he said, you still love writing, don't you? Hehe.
Oh, now that's a right ending. Maybe I must remind you again about Ran's boyfriend's name. It seems like you'd forgotten...it's "Tatsukichi", not Chichi or only Monkey Boy.
The ending was kinda funny nevertheless. Keep writing!