|Reviews for The Seal of Time and the Triforce of Eternity|
| Nettik chapter 23 . 2/1/2009
xD This is a GREAT story...Love it! I cant wait for the next chapter!
- Midnight Hell
| I Am Sparty chapter 21 . 11/25/2008
I've not much to say about this chapter. I mean, I was expecting the revealing of Garith's true identity to be more earth-shattering and profound, but...no, it didn't have that effect on me. Must be only Braedon that was enthused.
I'm glad you took your time, and this chapter turned out pretty well. It's a decent length and leaves us at an interesting spot in the end. Unfortunately, the dialogue between Braedon and Garith is pretty dry. I dunno, whenever you write Braedon's character it seems forced and weird, like he's supposed to be intelligent but with a kid's mind and voice. He also seems to talk too much to be any good at his job. That's just my take on it. At any rate, I don't think I like Braedon much; he grates on me, honestly.
Anyway, keep up the good work, and I'll be sure to read the next installment.
| z3link chapter 21 . 11/22/2008
holy crap! Man this is the first time i've looked at your story since college started and man, you have some pretty good stuff I might add.
| Ally Marton chapter 20 . 11/8/2008
Um... WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Link! You killed him! Oh gosh, he's coming back, right? RIGHT? :runs off screaming about the insanityof the world: till next time!
| I Am Sparty chapter 20 . 11/5/2008
Bravo. You were right about this chapter being better, because it was. And you left us wondering what's going to happen to Link, so good job on that.
I suspected the archers would be dealt with eventually, considering Garith's absence. I'm not assuming to know that it was definitely him that did it, but I have a hunch.
You still had a few typos in here, like "dieing" which should be "dying" and "minuet" which you meant to be "minute". There may have been one or two others, so it probably wouldn't hurt for you to check things over again. The chapters short, so it should be easy as pie for you.
I've no true criticism for this chapter this time around. Maybe Braedon's sentences seemed a bit forced in some places, but it was still not a bad development. Great going!
| Ally Marton chapter 19 . 10/19/2008
AH! :runs circles madly around computer: No no NO! Save Zelda, you idiot! This is what happens from rash desicions! How couldyou do this to me? Keeping me in this horrible suspense? Argh! :stomps off to bed because its so late: Later! Good chapter!
| I Am Sparty chapter 19 . 10/15/2008
I'm not so sure what to think of this chapter. How could Link have an opening if the archers on the rooftops are keeping a constant vigilance over the crowd below? Unless Link could turn invisible, that move was more than a little foolhardy.
Of course, it was pretty cool that Braedon was able to preempt Link the way he did, blocking his sword before certain death came upon him. However, then he goes and ruins his coolness by saying that his code is to keep his friends close and his enemies closer. That's just bogus, because that kind of philosophy is one you don't outright tell to your enemies, especially when there are obvious hostilities in the open, as there was at this point (Link and Braedon at swords' length from each other). I actually laughed when I read it, then I shook my head. Sorry, but it just doesn't make sense for a ruthless ruler of a band of marauding thieves to openly admit something that should have been kept a secret.
And then came the offer for Link to join. Here's where things got crazy some more. Link just kept changing his mind, back and forth between plans. I mean, once Braedon offered a position in the gang and Link took it, he should have kept with it without reneging. The fact that stopped negotiating and looked to Zelda for help shows a lack of wit about Link, and though we don't know how smart he truly is, I'm sure he's not a complete dolt.
Plus, where's Garith in all this? All this back and forth between Link and Braedon progresses the story nowhere, and you wouldn't have Link offer to be on the group unless you actually planned for him too (his thoughts also give that away). For Garith to come in a save the day would destroy those plans, and then you've got a flopped bit of storytelling on your hands.
The chapter may have seemed sound, but judging by the flip-flop nature of Link's ideas, I'd say you wrote this on the fly. You were in a rush to get this done. Dude, take your time. Quality of story is much better than timeliness on its delivery. Think of how long Nintendo delayed the release of Twilight Princess before it was finally ready to be sold in stores. If you're unsure about how something should go, ask for a second opinion. If needs be, send me a rough draft and I'll look it over for you. This story is good and doesn't deserve to have unnecessary ridiculousness in it.
Now that my rant is done, I apologize if I offended you in any way. I'm sure you're very proud of your work and I don't mean to demean you as the author at all. I'm just trying to help, and history has proven that if I see a problem in a story, I'm going to point it out to the writer. I may have come off a bit more harsh than usual, but I know you're capable of good writing and good storytelling. Use the elements and the characters that you have. You might be scared of being predictable in a story, writing something that everyone expects to happen next, but don't foreshadow where there's no need, and the next scene becomes a surprise anyway.
I like your story a lot, which is why I keep coming back to read it. I hope you're learning a lot about writing since you've taken on this endeavor. I know I certainly have learned quite a bit since I first began writing fanfiction. 8 years later, I've improved my form immensely, and I know the same will happen for you.
| DanaeMariSkywalker chapter 18 . 9/30/2008
I think you did pretty well with this scene. I have no recommendations for it since I don't have much experience with action scenes. This Braedon character is pretty interesting. He seems heartless and not one to care about anyone except for himself and maybe his crew. Can't wait to see what the three companions do next. :-D
| Ally Marton chapter 18 . 9/26/2008
It was an interesting chapter, but rather than describing poorly, I think you described too much, or possibly repeated yourself. So, now that that's over, is Link going to save the day? Where the giant mercenary anyway?
| KatrinaKaiba chapter 18 . 9/26/2008
I really like this story so far. You describe things with very extensive details. I can't wait for your next chapter.
| I Am Sparty chapter 18 . 9/25/2008
Actually, the beheading seemed believable enough, but just remember that most bodies don't convulse in death like that. The fact that this one did is of no consequence, so you're good to go.
Other than that, this chapter seemed a bit rushed. You're very redundant, having people repeat phrases or words more than once within one or two sentences of each other. Your grammar was fine, but there was a moment where you used "who" wrong. You said "to who" when that should always be "to whom".
Hmm...this bandit gang is a rather large force to be reckoned with, and skilled as well. Seems like Link and the others are in a bit of a pickle, but we can't forget that Garith is MIA, which means he's up to something. I think I kind of see what your plan with this is.
Anyway, I would clean up this chapter a bit. Other than that, it's good. Do well on the next installment, y'hear?
| Irelandgal131 chapter 17 . 9/21/2008
yay! good chapter and very suspenseful.
I'm eager to see how all this folds out!
| DanaeMariSkywalker chapter 17 . 9/20/2008
This chapter is great! For a sec, I thought that Zelda would be the one in trouble. I wonder what has happened now. The new characters seem interesting. So Garith is evil or part evil. Interesting. Also his sword...looks like both him and Link have legendary swords. :-)
| Ally Marton chapter 17 . 9/20/2008
Great chapters! You tend to over explain things, but on the plus side, that keeps us completely informed. Wonder what's up in the square? Good-luck on the next chapter!
| I Am Sparty chapter 17 . 9/17/2008
I like how each of the characters have a section dedicated to them in this chapter, and then just to have it all converge on one point in the end. Very well done.
I'm glad you're getting more into Garith's backstory, just don't forget to keep him in character. He's a mercenary, and as far as the reader is concerned right now he doesn't really have any moral standings. If he does, reveal that little by little, but make it believable.
Just a few things. You refer to Hyrule Castle as a Palace at some point. Was that intentional or was it a slip up? I don't think it's ever been known as a palace, nor is it very palace-like at all.
Also, the tale that Fraling tells to Link at the beginning is good, but you have it all in one big paragraph. I would suggest splitting it up a bit to separate ideas and organize thoughts.
Other than that, it's looking good. Keep up the great work.