Reviews for The Ones that Failed
Smiling Seshat chapter 1 . 10/14/2015
Ohhh, how interesting.
Rosa Cotton chapter 11 . 3/19/2014
Really liked the voice you gave her, how her trains of thought seemed to break off, and she ended up becoming more interested in the world. Well done.
Rosa Cotton chapter 10 . 3/19/2014
I personally enjoyed hearing from Miss Moss, especially about the "Toads and Diamonds" bit. The jewels depended on the topic, really? Nice.
Rosa Cotton chapter 9 . 3/19/2014
Haven't seen pieces like this before. Fascinating. I swayed back and forth between things going over my head to giggling. The tangents for "she" and "apple" tie for being the highlight.
Rosa Cotton chapter 8 . 3/19/2014
I really like your Cinderella: how she has risen up, enjoys cooking, and the motive behind her desire to go to the ball. Her debating about how to enter the palace, who she'll approach and will say made me giggle. Almost makes me wish I could see/hear how the ball turned out for her - as she envisioned/hoped, or perhaps it tried to return to its traditional narrative?
45692-358923-09 chapter 33 . 2/23/2014
I like that the author's note attached to "Instructions on how to Successfully Curse a Baby" is about baby-flirting.

Also this is a very real concern that I have with all villains ever, so thank you for addressing it.
MertleYuts chapter 33 . 2/23/2014
BABBIES! Babies are so cute. Poor cute baby. Loved the fairy. She is so great with the baby and then all, Imma curse you now cuz I'm evil aren't you so pretty? It was great. She could teach so many evil villain classes at evil villain university. Also like that she says things like bonny and wee.
ElvishKiwis Venerated Ancestor chapter 33 . 2/23/2014
Oh dear, that certainly would be one that failed.
I was hoping that the baby would be so cute and win her over so completely that she would relent and that would be why it failed. Because without a curse there would be no story.
Instead you have just invented an extra difficult challenge for who ever is going to undo the curse. Not only must they break the curse, but they must figure out what it is.
It reminds me of Nebuchadnezzer's dream:
"Tell me what the dream is and THEN tell me it's interpretation; any old idiot pretending to be a wise man can interpret a dream if they know what it is."
Miriel Tolkien chapter 26 . 2/2/2014
I like Jack/Hans/Ivan. DD
Miriel Tolkien chapter 7 . 2/2/2014
*sees chapter title and combines with previous Franklin title* *grins* I understood that reference. Niiice.
Yoffi chapter 32 . 2/1/2014
Goose Girl?
ElvishKiwis Venerated Ancestor chapter 32 . 1/22/2014
Eva likes fishtail braids (BTW do you know how long those things take to do?! She would be going at it until dawn. Better not make them so tiny.
Eva likes "Hunger at her heels and Freedom in her eyes, she danced on her knees, pirate prince at her side" and the 'smile that was for one night only'. He's a creep and she knows it, but it's existential fun at it's best.
Eva dislikes "When Conrad knocked off her cap the morning after, the hair underneath was short, choppy, lurid pink." Do you have any idea how long that is going to take her to grow back?! And how it is going to effect her job prospects until it does?
*shakes head and sighs*
ElvishKiwis Venerated Ancestor chapter 31 . 7/4/2013
Elvishkiwi's Venerated Ancestor likes this!
This is SO GOOD Clar, I knew you would do a better job of this than I imagined.
Mildred is a very interesting young woman and, as is usual with your short stories, I have a ton of 'digging deeper' kind of questions, which I don't dread writing to you because you always send me such lovely long satisfying answers.
Try as I might I can't get the link between Franklin's scribbled list and the name of Rumpelstiltskin.
"I've never been very good at accents, so this is every regional variation from around here."
If this is a riddle then please don't give me the answer...
Wait: Giants drink "Rum," unhappy princesses are usually "pale", I don't get the cheesemonger link to stilt, but cobblers work with animal "skin"? *shakes head to self* Nah, it is too obscure. Mildred would never guess it without already knowing the name.
Maybe I had better look up other versions of the story than the one in our little 'Fairy Tales' book.

The wee little man never does answer her question about if she can trust him with her son, and I really wanted to know that too, but the kind patting of her hand and his direful warnings of impending doom shall have to suffice.
So does it work out for her? Does the young Luke grow into the fine upright young man who is worthy to revenge his mother's dishonourable treatment at the hand of his Father and prove to be a wise respectful leader of his Father's domains?

I like Franklin when she is being gentle.
""The only petticoat you're wearing is to keep out the chill, isn't it?" said Franklin, her chin softening from its stubborn line and her voice full of something like wonder."
She is still all the sassy cleverty cleverness she is when pouring cold water on young mens flirtatious ambitions or villain's unscrupulous ones, but it is aimed more at Mildred's predicament than at her herself. For this confused and sick with dread young mother there is only cryptically worded sympathy and advice that causes more confusion than helps. And yet, somehow that is just what Mildred needed to figure out that she is not the damsel in distress, but the answer to her own prayers.

Okay, so maybe I was exaggerating about the 'ton of questions', but some of them are a bit weighty...
MertleYuts chapter 31 . 7/4/2013
What a nice moral! Also, FRANKLIN! Definitely has a thing for fixing all these frivolities inherent in fairy tales. I like this method of just giving us glances into Franklin's doings. Leaves a lot up to the imagination. Though I wouuuuuld like to know a bit more.

Also, Mildred, good for her! I liked that line "avoiding the fact that her husband had threatened to kill her three times for reasons she could not understand and was desperately struggling to forgive". A clear and powerful way to put what a lot of people vaguely feel about this particular fairy tale and why most modern spoofs have the miller's daughter running away with Rumplestitskin
Whimsy Turtle chapter 30 . 6/29/2013
Hullo again! I am finally getting some time to (very slowly) catch up on your wonderful stories, and this is such a great one for me to begin with!

First, have you read Terry Pratchett's Hogfather? Is that where you got the idea for Death as a girl's godfather? And the idea for Death to talk in bold? I love it! (Although I don't remember if Susan was Death's only goddaughter, or if he had different successive goddaughters?) I will say though that it was difficult to understand what was going on with the godfather on my first read of this story. Once I figured out the godfather was Death, everything suddenly made much more sense, but there were parts that were utterly confusing when I read them the first time. (Like when she brushed past her godfather, I initially thought that her godfather was the one saying "Don't you have enough problems without imagining the supernatural?" Or like when her godfather walked out of the room.)

Second, I love that she and the soldier found each other! I remember when I read the first piece, I was wondering how the soldier would find her again if he had only met her in a "dream." This is a really neat way of going about that! I'm a little confused though about how she became a nurse: Did she know to become a nurse, and if so, how? (Since she never saw the soldier because he was wearing an invisibility cloak, so she couldn't have known he was a soldier?) Or was it just "fate" that she became a nurse?

I like that the ending connects to and clarifies this bit at the beginning: "eyes following her though the heads could not." I was somewhat confused when I read that at the beginning, but the ending explained it. I think that's kind of my comment about the whole story: I was confused for most of it, but then I got to the end and suddenly everything made so much sense, so then I went and reread the whole story and enjoyed it much more on the second read.

Your descriptions never fail to amaze me. Some of my favorites:
"They looked like heroes and legends. They looked like Arthur's knights because her heart had always fluttered at a man in uniform and it was only looking at these photos she could remember that feeling."
"made...her lips curl up out of their professional line"

A small quibble: "The candle on the bedstand at the foot of the bed, pushed in so close no one can stand there, flickered." The first time I read this sentence, I thought it was the candle/bedstand that was pushed in so close. In retrospect, that was silly of me because the modifier clearly is describing bed/foot of the bed and clearly you would not do something like misplace a modifier, but I still think the flow of the sentence makes me think it's the candle that's pushed in.

Final question: Did the soldier at the very end see Death? I'm a bit confused by what "the gentlest form of Death he had seen" was.

Can't wait to keep catching up on your lovely stories!
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