|Reviews for Chronology Of A Relationship|
| wereleopard chapter 1 . 8/2/2009
| reivers chapter 1 . 6/27/2008
I found this to be a little weak. I didn't find anything powerful in it, and I'm sad to say the only reason I finished reading it was because of the short length.
The repetition in the beginning kept a nice rhythm, but it died out in the beginning. Perhaps if it had continued throughout the piece, the entire thing would have a nicer rhythm to it. The next to last paragraph ["It started with a kiss. It continued along lines.."] just seems a bit out of place. What I'm trying to say is: if you're going to do something like, stick with it or don't do it at all.
I do quite like the last line, however, but I don't think it belongs in this sort of piece. It would belong better in a story about Jack's immortality, perhaps.. Or just a piece about the longevity of their relationship, not a piece about Jack and Ianto's relationship stopping and starting. For such a phrase of continuance, this story just brings to mind too many bits and pieces.
Thanks for sharing.
I really hope you find my review helpful.
| Jennie-x chapter 1 . 6/27/2008
that was amazing. i loved it :D