|Reviews for Model Behaviour|
| Guptanation chapter 8 . 5/18/2011
Good chapter, I enjoyed reading it. Serenity knocking out Mokuba... lol. You did a pretty solid job with the character interactions in this chapter, particularly the scene where Serenity suggests that Kaiba must have had some kind of ulterior motive for helping her out since of course he must be as bad as the media portrays him (it's just kinda ironic cause she was the one who was trying to avoid a one-on-one interview with that journalist specifically because she knows that her words will probably get twisted around by the media). I'm looking forward to the next chapter :)
| BlackKitt chapter 8 . 5/7/2011
Okay, so for some reason I completely missed the update of chapter 7. Really, I just saw you updated and started reading chapter 8, and I was initially completely confused. Until I realized I utterly missed your previous update. Ugh, stupid, stupid me.
Ah well, I’ll just turn this into an extra long double-chapter review then ;).
I love Kaiba. I’ve said this before, but damn, you write him so well, it’s as if it really is him commenting on the events happening in his life. I envy you so much for that. Every action, word and thought you write fits him perfectly. I especially love the last line of chapter 7 – spot on Kaiba. Though I must say, the last line of chapter 8 is even better. Absolutely adorable. I can clearly see, even through his stoic thought pattern, that he’s slowly falling for ‘his little model’. And getting aroused by her, even. I guess he should trade his speedo for something with a little more space for his private parts, huh?
Serenity does have nice coworkers, doesn’t she? First a weird hacker Kaiba-fangirl at the telemarketing company, now two jealous women giving her bad heals and slipping drugs in her coke… poor Serenity. Then again, as long as Kaiba keeps coming to her rescue when those things happen, it might not be the worst thing in the world… Which, by the way, is worth a compliment of its own. Making Serenity a damsel in distress so many times could easily cause her character to appear as weak, but you manage to pull it off while keeping her strong and determined, so kudos for that.
Also, I have to comment on how beautifully the relationship between Seto and Serenity is progressing. It goes nice and slow, which is much more believable then the cliché of love at first sight. Though if one wouldn’t know the entire story, that lapdance she gave him would suggest they’re already a lot further than they really are. Sexy scene that was, by the way. It marked the first time I actually felt sorry for a man receiving a lapdance. Those poor two, always getting the publicity they absolutely don’t want. But really, the level of development is wonderful. I like how they both enjoy Bach. It seems to fit them.
On a whole other point: I love Mokuba. Ah, he’s so pimpish yet cute at the same time. And he has a strong skull, which is always a good quality in men. I think Duke might’ve given him some lessons in how to woo the ladies? Tie his hair into a ponytail and Mokuba would be Duke Devlin version 2.0. Which, when I think about it, might not be the best idea. However, I really like how Mokuba is the only one who can get Seto off his working butt to relax a little (even though that kind of backfired with that party). Those two brother could be a golden comedy duo if they wanted to. Anyway, I hope Mokuba gets a girl somewhere along the way as well, whether it be a fling or a permanent relationship. The poor kid barely ever gets enough love.
Oh, and I’m sorry for the rather late review on this one. I’ve been rather busy the last couple of days, since my grandparents are in the middle of moving right now. However, I hope the length of this review made up for my lateness.
Anyway, that is about all I wanted to say. I love this story. It rocks, and so do you. I can’t wait to find out what happens next.
| The Quoi chapter 8 . 5/4/2011
I'm enjoying this. : ) Hope your future bouts of writer's block come in very fleeting drafts. XD Update when you can. 3
| fanofthisfiction chapter 8 . 5/1/2011
The shocking beginning of this chapter ended with an unexpected friendship between our two characters. Everyone has their own style, but I can appreciate your slow progression before anything romantically happens between the characters. Bringing Mokuba into the picture may help to provide a little creative outlet to display feelings through another I see. With the incident at hand coming to a head, I wonder what you have in store for these two characters still haven't let their feelings known to the other but obviously will find that beneficial. ;)
| VeryShortMidget chapter 8 . 4/28/2011
Awesome chapter! I'm soooo glad you updated! I'm so behind on reading all the fanfics I like, but I always read this one when I see it is updated. Keep it up, it was a lovely chapter to read and definitely a great way to pass the time at work!
| midnightblue08 chapter 8 . 4/25/2011
wohooo! they are getting closer and closer love it!
| aName chapter 7 . 10/18/2010
I can see writing potential. I just wish it was a different theme. I think the aspect that irks me as a reader are the characters. I find you have the talent to make a good model story but somewhere along the line the emotions in ur writing became more commercial and forced than natural. Like this chapter I can't imagine Serenity acting the way she did. I understand its possible, but its hard to envisage. Also Kaiba and her appear to have a more physical attraction. And I can totally understand how the physical attraction is the first stage in a relationship, because, who are we kidding, it always is, but it seems to me 7 chapters in and we still don't really have much of a progression between the two. I am totally for original stories and I think you can always tweak the characters to make a special spot of your own... so I don't mind much of the original touches you have added. But I feel as if your way of illustrating that just lacks something.
Please don't take this harshly,because seriously this is all my personal opinion. I just find you have such amazing potential. I can see a good style in your writing and so I just wish your story theme or way of presenting it, was something more intriguing (?).
I can see how you want to be built a strong image of Serenity and a strong but also human picture of Kaiba. And really its just my personal preference, but I just wish it was done in a different way. Like maybe you know if you had Kaiba doing something really compassionate and nice, but stay very silent about it- it makes it a little bit more profound and gives his character in this story a brighter touch. Ah, don't know if I'm making sense. :p.
Just wanted to say you have a good style of writing. :) Good luck with the next chapters.
| Doubleplusgoodduckspeaker chapter 7 . 8/30/2010
Sorry its been ages since I've been able to catch up on this story! I had my archaeology dig (which was awesome!) and now back at school, which is eww but manageable. So on to the review
Probably my favorite facet of Silentshipping stories out there is that the party scenes are always so great to read! I knew that you would write something amazing and I was not disappointed. I can sort of see Shizuka dressed up as Tinkerbell, and of course when Seto entered the scene I was laughing out loud at my desk-wow, I wonder how they're both going to deal with all that in the next chapter? Mokuba's call-fail was pretty funny too (Converse?), and I also really like your word choices here-the scenes are all vividly described, and each narrator, Shizuka and Seto, are both very in-voice. I really enjoyed reading this chapter, and I hope you get some inspiration to continue writing this amazing story!
| Khrystal chapter 7 . 8/29/2010
please update! this is such a good chapter!
| fanofthisfiction chapter 7 . 8/6/2010
Pulling Shizuka out of her normal behavior and matching that by doing the same thing with Seto Kaiba was a nice twist on how things might help them to get closer. Overly done glitzy party behavior was a nice background to give the move a more realistic approach. Moving to the Kaiba mansion should have very interesting possibilities now. I definitely like the change of mood and direction after this incident. Thanks for sharing.
| MeAndMyHarpieDeck chapter 7 . 6/12/2010
Why, oh why did I stop reading fanfics? This was just brilliant and ,being a converse girl myself, I loved all the puns Mokuba and Kaiba had in their discussion. Your writing style has improved more than I think anyone expected. I remembered it being so uptight and forced but now your language flows while retaining a bit of an upscale bite. And as much I hate seeing poor Serenity in these hopeless and horrible situations, it was all very believable. I do hope she hasnt made too much of a muck of things! Haha, I look forward to your next update, just like i used to :)
| GlimerOfhope chapter 7 . 6/9/2010
I started reading this story a week ago, with a chapter every day and I can't help thinking about the 'Ugly Betty' atmosphere in this fic. Of course Serenity is much more beautiful, but kaiba is like Alexis Meade (male version) since Daniel is too nice. Well Mokuba is Daniel then. Somehow I can't picture Serenity becoming a model, I don't know if she can become anything at all with her character -teacher maybe- and Duke is so like Kouga in this fic, I just can't help it. Overall there is plenty of humour, and you remind me why I used to like this couple.
| mysticalphoenix-avalon chapter 7 . 6/8/2010
WOW! Shizuka got the moves after all (enough to affect poor Seto...it proves his human) and nice of Seto to detox her at his house.
Please update soon. Really good story. Looking forward to it!
| Guest chapter 7 . 6/7/2010
Lady Gaga inspired chapter title! I like! :) Great chapter. Twists and turns ahead! I can't wait for something to happen between them! Thanks for the chapter!
| 729963 chapter 1 . 6/3/2010
For some odd reason my name did not appear on the review I posted below -_-. The tragedy. After so long, I review a great chapter and they don't post my name. -Sigh-. Oh, why oh why, FF?
Anyways, I hope you don't mind me reviewing two times XD. Again, I recap my earlier review: A very fun chapter! Keep up the witty, funny, and entertaining tone. :) Can't wait to see some connection and realization between the two characters. :D.