|Reviews for After Great Deeds|
| Timemidae chapter 1 . 1/31/2014
Great! This is such an underutilized perspective.
| time2read chapter 1 . 6/30/2012
Great capture of the moment write more!
| Naian chapter 1 . 2/12/2011
It's beautiful :D
| JamieDidn'tDieInCulloden chapter 1 . 2/20/2010
A great story. Very well written.
| Raksha The Demon chapter 1 . 3/28/2009
This phrase bothers me - "He was holding off a Harad" - 'Harad' is a land, a region, as well as the Gondorian (presumably Sindarin) word for 'South'. There's debate on what the individual members of the Haradrim would be called - you could get away with Haradri or Haradrian (possibly Haradan), or just 'Southron' as Tolkien uses.
But that's just a minor quibble. This is a nice story. I've always heard Imrahil's words to Denethor as having a bitter overtone, at least in my head...
| Little Miss Bump chapter 1 . 8/16/2008
A very interesting take on their relationship, I enjoyed this immensely. It's good to know that Faramir was cared for by somebody, even though his own father chose to neglect him. This was well written, and the use of description was both advanced and subtle, allowing me to picture the scene easily. Congratulations on a fine peice of work.
Little Miss Bump
| Ilada'Jefiv chapter 1 . 6/30/2008
Aw! Wonderful job. *winces at missing commas* But besides that, I really love it. You did awesome with Faramir's character, and I love Imrahil! :-D
| Rae Kitano chapter 1 . 6/30/2008
Excellent. I really enjoy reading this story and that chapter did not disappoint me. I was really stirred by Faramir's determination "first to charge, last to retreat". You say not your best but I was really touched by that part of the story.
| Sarahbarr17 chapter 1 . 6/30/2008
Good story, nicely written. A moment of high drama.
| eiluj chapter 1 . 6/29/2008
A good build-up to Imrahil's canon line. And no one would mind if you continued...
Now I'm going to quibble about some wording, because your good story could be a bit better:
"Imrahil speedily called out orders, reforming his men, and then *marched* toward the city" - Are they marching or riding?
"carefully supporting his precious burden" - Yes, that wording is exactly what you mean. But it is *such* a fanfic cliché! It makes me cringe - and I'm not the only one.
"A weak hand touched Imrahil’s reign guiding one" - A "reign" is the period of a king's rule (or royal authority in general - and since Imrahil *is* a reigning prince, it sounds even stranger). You mean "rein" or "reins," which Merriam-Webster defines as "a strap fastened to a bit by which a rider or driver controls an animal — usually used in plural." I don't know why, but it's nearly always spelled wrong in fanfics.
w w w. m-w. com
Besides that problem, that's a very awkward sentence, and I don't think it's technically accurate to say the rider's hand "guides" the reins: the rider's hand does control the reins, hold them, grip them... Rather than guiding *the reins*, the rider guides *the horse* by means of the reins.
How about something like, "A weak hand touched Imrahil's hand that held the reins." Or "A weak hand touched Imrahil's hand on the reins." Still awkward!
To avoid repeating "hand," use "glove" when referring to Imrahil, as he'd certainly have been wearing gloves or gauntlets. You could also change the sentence to something like, "Imrahil felt a weak touch on his hand over the reins." Still awkward! Or even simply, "A weak hand touched Imrahil's."
| Medea Smyke chapter 1 . 6/29/2008
I really enjoyed reading this! It must have been very painful for Imrahil to watch his sister's family dissolve like that, especially since he did not know that Aragorn would be able to heal Faramir. Thanks!
| miriamne chapter 1 . 6/28/2008
Enjoyed very much! So like Faramir to be more concerned for his men then himself. It's lucky he has Imrahil also.