Reviews for 17 Reasons To Kill Mike Newton
WhiteWolfRosepetals chapter 1 . 10/9/2014
I didn't like the mike newton character in the series but the actor plays him made him out different then the actual chacacter which I really liked. I mean it's my opinion but I wish there was more plots that was twisted then just regular girl mets guy thing (even though he's some "magical creature that doesn't exist").
Kyoshiro-Crimson-King chapter 1 . 8/23/2014, where to begin with this, honestly I really like Mike, only flaw is he's interested in Bella for no real reason. I find him more attractive then Edward and a tad more then Jacob but onto your reasons to kill the guy.

1. Theres no indication that he would rape her, he's a teenage boy with a crush, simple as that.

2. I think thats a good thing he's not like Edward, a very good thing, especially if you read Midnight Sun and catch the part where Edward wanted to murder the entire bio class to cover up draining Bella dry the first time they met.

3. I think he's fine as a human but if he were a vampire I think his transition would be interesting to read about, as long as he doesnt go the " Cullen " route

4. Again, the guy is a teenage boy, there all perverts to a point, hell any human is like that and really the only thing Bella likes is Edward, the other Cullens, Jacob, and the wolf pac, she has no interest in humans

5. I hate Edward, several million people hate Edward, he hates himself, so Mike hating him, though its born out of teenage jealously, really isnt anything major

6. He and Jessica werent together when he developed feelings for Bella and he doesnt seem the cheating type.

7. He doesnt think he can replace Edward, he tries to imitate him at one point but we all go through phases like that, nothing major, he's a teenage boy

8. Read Midnight Sun, EVERYTHING annoys the crap out of Edward, a trait he shares with Bella

9. same as number 8, in Twilight, EVERYTHING, annoys the crap out of Bella and causes her to whine and complain. He asked her out three times and in spaced out amounts of time,

10. He's never had an interaction with the other Cullens, positive or negative and it can assumed they have no idea who he is.

11. " Being Bleh? ", because he's average? nothing wrong with that

12. That doesnt make any sense, if he persist on having feelings for her, again for whatever reason, then whatever, he's allowed to have feelings. It's not like he spent " Eclispe " trying to barge into the so called love triangle and what does he know then Bella's with Edward, not like Bella's talking with her human " friends " about her love life.

13. LMAO, Mike stalkerish? Bella and Edward spent the first half of Twilight stalking each other.

14. The chances of him marrying Bella are pretty much zero, thank whatever deity in existance for that, he will probably be a good father sometime in the future, personally I hope he ends up with a guy.

15. The only thing cool about a Volvo is the name itself, it's not exactly a luxury car

16. and Charlie screwed Bella in a fanfic I read, then he screwed Edward, Jacob, Emmett, Seth, Sam, etc

17. Yes, He's Mike Newton, thats his name, average guy that goes to school with Bella and who she calls a guy and complains that he's friendly and nice to her.
melissacullen chapter 1 . 5/19/2014
I have a 18th reason HE WON'T LEAVE BELLA ALONE.
Heather chapter 1 . 5/16/2014
Ha ha, one other reason to hate him is cuz, he lost his popcorn watching a horror movie. And also her got huge eyebags after twilight
I HATEmike newto chapter 1 . 8/23/2012
Ugh he annoys the crap out of me he should just die love ur reasons tho best one yet!
alice-in-wonderland-22 chapter 1 . 8/20/2011
i'd kill mike just 4 the fun of it
ALittlePieceOfCherryPie chapter 1 . 6/17/2011

You don't know that! Mike is not a rapist! Maybe in fanfictions but in SM's version, he is a teenage boy with a crush on Bella.

I'm not even gonna try to argue the 'he's not Edward. Duh' that's just silly.

You're not a vampire either.

He's not a 'sick pevert'. A sick pevert touches himself in front of you, a sick pevert makes rude comments about your genitals or other body parts, a sick pevert is sick in the brain. No where does mike do anything a 'sick pevert' would do. He's actually very respectable with his crush on Bella.

HA. Haha. 'No one hates Edward' good joke. He doesn't hate him either, he's just jealous. Would you not be if lets say, you liked Edward and someone swooped him up from under you? I know him and Bella didn't have much of a chance, but still. It's petty teenage jealousy. And when he says something is 'up' about Edward, would you not think that too? I mean, brooding, pale guy always giving death glares. Yeah, nothing up about that...

Him and Jessica were not going out when Mike liked Bella, and they were on a break when they went on the date in New Moon, I'm quite sure. She even invited Jessica and such but they didn't show up.

He doesn't think he can replace Edward. He's just trying to be there for Bella when she's depressed.

Everyone annoys the crap out of someone. Just because he annoys Edward does not mean he HAS to annoy you or anyone. He doesn't really annoy Bella that much and it's not numerous times. It's once at the start and once when she talks to them again after not talking to her 'human friends' for months.

You don't know that because you never get their inner monologue so..

Bleh is an invalid argument.

Not really, he is just being nice to her, doesn't mean he's trying to get in with her because him and Jessica end up together again, I'm pretty sure.

HAHAHAHA. HE'S creepy and stalkerish? Please. At least he doesn't watch her sleep. Pretty sure he doesn't stalk her.

That's just horrible. Just because he liked Bella as a TEENAGER doesn't mean he doesn't deserve happiness and a family.


Yes, well that is a fanfiction. The reason it was a fanfiction is because it wasn't actually real meaning Mike Newton never actually did or is like that.

Rant over. These are beyond silly, sorry.
hecates chapter 1 . 4/25/2011
Actually, I love Mike Newton. I love him almost as much as I love the Volturi for coming to kick the Cullens' ass. Even though they didn't (and that was a severe disappointment for me) I still like them.

In fact, I like anyone who is a minor roadblock for your precious Bella and the glorified Edward/Jacob, whomever. Especially the ones who want to kill the Cullens.

... can you tell I'm purposely antagonizing you yet? XD

Oh, well. This is a list, against the TOS, and thus you have been reported.

Love you! &hearts

Thanks much.

*Theia 47
pinfeather chapter 1 . 1/3/2011
Ahem. I like your story, but...

17 reasons I like Mike Newton even if no one else does:

1. He’s a marshmallow. Marshmallows don’t rape people.

2. Edward isn’t real. NO ONE will EVER be Edward. Duh.

3. He's not a vampire. (That’s a good thing.)

4. He’s loyal to Bella even when she acts like a depressed freak.

5. Because he hates Edward. I hate Edward too! We’re kindred spirits!

6. When the heck was he going to cheat on Jessica?

7. No one can replace Edward because… guess what! Edward isn’t real! He’s a fantasy.

8. He annoys the crap-spackle out of Edward. YES! That’s good!

9. He annoys Bella. I hate Bella. Thank you, Mike!

10. He annoys the hell out of the rest of the Cullens. I hate the Cullens. I love you, Mike!

11. He is average. He’s a real guy. Not like Edward, who’s totally unrealistic.

12. He perseveres. In other words: He. Never. Gives. Up. Not even when everything and everyone else is against him.

13. Mike’s not creepy. EDWARD is creepy.

14. Mike Newton’s kids?... What the heck. Why not? Better them than "Renesmee."

15. Who cares about Volvos? There are better cars out there.

16. I don’t care if people write fan fictions where he takes advantage of Bella. Fan fictions aren’t canon.

17. He's Mike Newton.

Okay, seriously, your story made me laugh, even if I didn't agree with it. Thank you for brightening my day.
MrsJasperWhitlockHale chapter 1 . 7/29/2010
Oh Emm Gee! Mike Newton makes me feel physically and mentally sick! He is sooooooo ugly and no wonder Bella rejects him.

Good reasons, and very funny.

Thanks a squillion.
victorionious chapter 1 . 5/11/2010


I never thought I'd be able to use that cheer (yes, as in 'put your pom-poms in the air, and wave 'em like you just don't care, cheerleader cheer) in real life. But I did! YAYZZ!

Which fanfiction... exactly? And how is this a tragedy fic?... unless... are you talking about how it's a tragedy that there IS a Mike Newton? Yeah. That's probably it...

I 3 this... It's purty... :D
ForgetfulForever chapter 1 . 12/7/2009
The reasons in your list arent really valid.

A: Hating someone just because theyre not Edward is twisted.

B: Not all lovable, awsome people have a Volvo. Would you fall in love with a murderer if he went and bought a Volvo?

C: mike is one of the most misunderstood characters in the Twilight Saga. And, he never actually tried to rape Bella or anything.
LethalFuror113 chapter 1 . 11/29/2009
I love it! :0)!
The Fallen Dark Angel chapter 1 . 8/26/2009
I love it! Its hilarious!

And. He should be killed. Anyone got a chainsaw?

Seen in Shades of Gray chapter 1 . 8/6/2009
really funny! I love your oter lists too!
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