|Reviews for Haunted|
| NickyFox13 chapter 1 . 7/8/2008
Poor Severus, he is tortured by Lily's presence in his dreams/nightmares.
(It had become a ritual, this torture he'd created for himself. The dream, or more accurately, the nightmare in which the Lily he'd known just as she'd reached adulthood came to her senses and changed his life. Severus had lived it in his mind so many times that he'd memorized every curve of her body and could sometimes swear the scent of her perfume still hung in the air when he woke, clinging to his clothes and warming his skin as easily as her touch.)
My favorite passage, although making this review unnecessarily long, is quoted above.
Severus' angst over Lily is justified, as first crushes are hard to get over. Poor guy, to see his first love go after another guy. That guy being your sworn enemy makes things worse. Lily gets married to said enemy only to live a couple of years out of school, to have a son and be killed.
I like how you weaved Severus' dream into the presant and how Harry's eyes, a simple reminder of Lily, affects how Snape punishes Harry.
Your grammar, spelling and punctuation is flawless. The way you characterize Snape, Liy and Harry are done well. The only thing I would suggest is to write out the number "17" in letters.
P.S: Yay for long, rambly reviews!
| respitechristopher chapter 1 . 7/7/2008
So this one took me a while to figure out. But it's the way you put the two of them together at the end that's so magical about this piece. Harry's walking around for the same reason; he's lost the same thing - the same person, although not by his own stupidity. Two tortured souls so f-ed up with hate that they can't see that the only person who could possibly understand their hurt is the other. A lovely, lovely piece.