Reviews for On the Fast Track
MsAngelAdorer chapter 11 . 9/10/2011
A well done Kim Possible story.

Now normally I don't read for this section because while I love the show - it's my favorite Disney cartoon ever - the fanfiction about it tends to stray from my favorite parts of the show, like the humor, the eccentric characters with their quirks, and just . . . well, the MADNESS of it all.

Now you, and a few other authors, have thankfully stayed true to the show's roots while being creative and more serious, which in this case works. Even though some parts were strange (one person ruining Ron's chance of getting into college), it was still interesting to read. I liked the way you developed the Kim/Ron relationship, one that I always liked hinted at in the show but never enjoyed after "So the Drama," since it felt so . . . forced. It didn't here, so good job.

A few grammar errors here and there, but still well written. Not sure what else to say other than this is, as of this moment, my favorite Kim Possible story (though it may change soon).

Nice job.
Taechunsa chapter 11 . 9/2/2011
That was a very well done story. I loved the way that you dealt wit the MMP, and the reintroduction of can't wait to read the rest of your stories. Keep up the good work.
Jawelik chapter 11 . 11/28/2009
Nice. Not only was this a good Kim Possible story, but it was actually FINISHED! WOO! So many of my favorite stories seem to be in 'perpetual work of progress' mode, but yours? I see you have a decent sized list of other finished stories, which I'll get onto right now. I''ll try to be a good fanfic reader and leave reviews for those too. Thanks for the read. )

-Jawelik
Joe Stoppinghem chapter 8 . 12/31/2008
Glad to see Ron's luck change for the better.

You do have me wondering what will happen to Eric/Smite, could be good, could be bad.

Oh, and also, I hope this puts an end to Rick O'Shea. (Hey! I finally got the joke! Good One!)

Thanks
Joe Stoppinghem chapter 7 . 12/30/2008
Woa! Eric's back?

That's that's so sick and wrong, it's wrong-sick.
Joe Stoppinghem chapter 6 . 12/30/2008
Looks like things are starting to break down.

But I do love the part of KP doing kitchen patrol. And she is going to love every minute of it.

I wonder if Mann is going to try to pull Ron into the program somehow, it won't be pretty that's for sure.

Thanks
Joe Stoppinghem chapter 5 . 12/30/2008
Well, at least it's now known why Ron was working so much. Cool to see Sheila helping out.

I'm betting Kim won't be able to get that discharge or will somehow be forced to sigh up for the second year.

I was hoping for her to tell that Rick "If you think I'm something to worry about, pray I don't tell Ron about your plans. You won't know what hit you."

Thanks
Joe Stoppinghem chapter 3 . 12/30/2008
Nice take on a Kim and Ron separation.

I'm betting that wedding bells will be coming soon.

Also, I have a strong suspicion of who was involved with that perfect heist mentioned and he's not on Kim's fav list.

Thanks
LTAOZFAN chapter 11 . 10/26/2008
"As the rocket soars into the sun, and Bradley O'Shea's career sinks slowly in the west . . . " But maybe you don't remember lines like that; they go back a long way. In any case, Kim gets real closure on the business of Synthodrone 901 / Erik. Marcus Mann has admitted to the mess he has made of his own life and the life of his daughter, so there may be hope for the guy, yet. And Judging by Bradley O'Shea's feelings about Rick, we can see why Rick has turned out to be such a heel.

The way Jenn Casey gets restitution for what she's been through, and sees that Ron is properly rewarded for his ideas, is very appropriate. But you have me wondering, just what was "the table saw catapult incident?" Say, if Kim is good with power tools, and a menace in the kitchen, while Ron is just the reverse, their characters mesh beautifully!

Nice bit with Rufus, here. He knows about humans and love and sex and all. So long as it doesn't interfer with important things, like pizza with cheese, he doesn't mind. And the business about Professor Dementor's minions surrendering to Ron is also good. Those guys are evil, but they aren't stupid!

So, Rick O'Shea still doesn't regard anything that has happened to him as being his fault? Before his story is finished, Rick is going to be hurting, big time, I have no doubt.

A very thrilling and entertaining story, sir! I'm glad I found your posted works, and I hope you will continue writing. You have a good touch for story and you write the characters well. While I'm at it, Happy Halloween!

LTAOZFAN

"Them's my views, amen so be it."

"Treasure Island," by R. L. Stevenson
LTAOZFAN chapter 10 . 10/24/2008
Well, Marcus Mann was in the trap all blackmail victims get stuck with: the villain is never satisfied & keeps coming back for more, and more, etc. But Ron gets credit & cash for his invention! The credit is probably more important to him than the cash. After all, it's proof that he's not a loser.

Rick O'Shea is not only bad, he's stupid. He can't seem to realize that he has been caught with his mainsheet belayed, and he might as well co-operate with Dr. Director. All his yelling gets him is a busted nose. But Drew has a chance to take pride in his work! Yes! Honesty does pay off.

I like the fact that Lynn and Miles want to stick with Kim & Ron. They sound like good people, and the sort who can take on tasks when Team Possible is busy. And the way Wade comes up with the computer virus is proof again of his super skills. I think Wade and that fellow "Q" from the James Bond movies would really get along, don't you? But, Kim is right, Wade has a lousy sense of timing.

Nice to see Rufus again playing a useful part. In any sitch, he can find some way to help "his humans" with their problems.

The final battle scene is great! The fact that Smite is out of his depth when fighting a battle-suited Kim and a Monkey-Master Ron never sinks in to the jerk, and for all his strength, power and weaponry he has lost the fight when he starts. But if I may offer an opinion, I think tossing Smite's remains into the Sun is the best course of action. Let that natural thermonuclear furnace break him down into individual atomic particles and he'll be out of everybody's hair for a megayear or two.

Say, I never thought of that. By sharing his Mystical Monkey Power, Ron shows himself to truly be worthy of having it. And Kim is certainly somebody who could be trusted to use such power wisely. The fact that it tires them both out also makes sense. That sort of ability is bound to have a price the user needs to pay.

A good wind-up to this story, sir. I will proceed to the epilog tomorrow. While I do that, perhaps you will proceed to Part Three of "The Claws of the Kitten," which has just been posted. I think you'll find my story is getting interesting. (Chuckling-with-glee sounds)

LTAOZFAN

"Them's my views, amen, so be it."

"Treasure Island," by R. L. Stevenson
LTAOZFAN chapter 9 . 10/22/2008
I like the way this chapter starts out. Somebody has specifically asked for Ron's help, and addresses him correctly on meeting him. Yes! That's sugar frosting on chocolate pie! And the way Rufus reacts and comments in this story is well done. You have a good grasp on his character, and you write him well.

So, Smite/Smythe/Erik is behind the "Friends of Kim Possible" messages? Well, well. With "friends" like that, who needs enemies? And it confirms that fact that Ron isn't paranoid; somebody really WAS out to get him!

I like the way you write the character of Sheila (Shego) in this story. Once the basic instincts come into play, Sheila is just like any other expectant mother, concerned about her baby and her husband, and nervous about any threat to either one. She has the usual weird cravings as well. (I wonder what Ann Possible wanted to eat when she was expecting Kim? And the Tweebs?)

The fact that Dr. Drakken's efforts at creating Erik (Synthodrone 901) turned out a fairly successful product is worth noting. After all, he wasn't a total klutz, and his success after reforming shows he's smart.

As usual, Wade can work his computer magic. And the reference to Kim preferring a Monkey Master (Ron) to a Pandaroo Cuddle Buddy because Ron cuddles back is very nice. But then we get Kim's reaction to the news that Smite is really Erik! Yes, that would shake her up. But watching Ron pound Erik is definitely a sight she can enjoy. It also let Ron work off the frustrations Smite has given him, and even those produced when Erik moved in on Kim back in their junior year of high school.

I like the way Drew explains his reasons for staying honest. He is definitely a wise man, to see the mess he got into, and the sort of mess he wants to avoid in the future. But I admit to being surprised when Marcus Mann finally decides to Tell All. I guess there is more sense in him that was apparent, until now.

A good chapter, sir! You give us a lot of revelation and action, but there is still a loose end (Erik) to tie off. The next chapter should be a doozy!

LTAOZFAN

"Them's my views, amen, so be it."

"Treasure Island," by R. L. Stevenson
LTAOZFAN chapter 8 . 10/18/2008
So, Ron finds a special Christmas present for Kim with Mr. Paisley's help? Good use of established character, sir. There are so many interesting people in the TV series and most of them never get mentioned again. Good to see you bring him up. And Smite honestly likes to watch "Snowman Hank?" Well, as the song says in the musical "Little Me," in even the worst of varments, you find something good.

Bueno Nacho Bucks gift card as a Christmas tradition between Ron and Kim is good, but the way Ron throws a curve here is fun! Yes, Kim would be so surprised and happy that she'd freeze up for a minute. And it is just right that Ann Possible understands what has been going on between Ron & Kim, but with precautions. James would probably have a coronary if he understood the sitch!

So, Marcus Mann has a daughter that he honestly cares about, and wants to help. Abigail will appear again in this story, I have no doubt. And how delightful it is to see Kim get an engagement ring before Bonnie does!

A five-cheese lasagna gets Ron into culinary school, and a future career as a top chef! Well, Kim has talent to save the world; Ron has talent in the kitchen. They both deserve kudos and success for their skills.

But then we have Kim's recall, which clearly ties in with Smite's devious plans and Marcus Mann's countermoves. I see that we are fast approching the wind-up for this story! And Ron gets a call for help on the website specifically to him. What better way to boost your confidence than to find out your reputation as a problem-solver is as good as your culinary skills, Ron?

A very good chapter in a very good story. I am enjoying this tale, sir.

LTAOZFAN

"Them's my views, amen, so be it."

"Treasure Island," by R. L. Stevenson
LTAOZFAN chapter 7 . 10/15/2008
Oh, yes! Marcus Mann really got egg on his face (and the kitchen walls) by putting Kim on kitchen duty. And I like the way Hill puts the pressure to Mann about upgrading the kitchens in the course of rebuilding them. Clearly, Marcus Mann has very few friends around Fast Track - if any.

So, Smite / Smythe turns out to be a reconstituted, upgraded, Erik Synthodroid? He's bound to try to give Kim and Ron some trouble, but I'm not betting on Smite being successful. Kim would SO like to pound Erik for what he did to her in "So the Drama." And Mr. O'Shea has started learning just how deep a hole he has dug himself into. If that's what his father is like, then it's no wonder Rick O'Shea is such a jerk.

Nice reaction by Tim to the news of Kim's kitchen disaster. I wonder if Tim and Jim will ever go into building demolition work, for the joy of blowing things up?

So, it's Rufus and Hana who start pulling Ron out of his funk, with Ron's parents getting involved as well. And that must be an engagement ring Ron has bought for Kim, unless I'm totally dense.

I like the idea that those flower petals keep popping up on Drew's head every so often. If it ever stops, I'm sure he'll get nervous, wondering when it'll happen again, and realising that he misses the durn things, after all.

The most feared words an employee can hear: The Boss Is Coming To See You! But it turns out Ron is finally getting recognition for doing a good job. Yeah! Promotion and public praise. And the way Kim uses Ron's speech to her about Fast Track, turned around, is another nice touch.

Yes, Kim's parents expected Kim to say that Ron had proposed to her, and they feel down that he hasn't. But I'm sure he will before this tale is done. It is moving nicely, and I must get on to the rest of it.

Well, I may have to spend a bit of time getting the second chapter of my own "Kim Possible" story ready to post. Check out chapter one of "The Claws of the Kitten" if you have the time.

LTAOZFAN

"Them's my views, amen, so be it."

"Treasure Island," by R. L. Stevenson
LTAOZFAN chapter 6 . 10/14/2008
Well, I was right. Marcus Mann is a fool. He decided to ditch Ron's career to get Kim in the program, without knowing what sort of a person Ron is, what he can do, Ron's right name, or even what he looks like. The fact that Mann can't spot an obvious set-up, and then freezes up in a combat/critical sitch, are frosting on the cake. But then, he assigns Kim to the kitchen for meal preparation? That kitchen will make Hiroshima in September 1945 look good by comparison, once Kim's been at it for an hour. That is really the cherry on the cake!

Yes, Kim's reputation would gain her the respect of most of the other cadets. The fact that Mann doesn't respect her shows how ineffectual an administrator he really is. And I love that reference to "The ultimate question of life, the universe and everything." Of course, the really important thing to know is the question in the first place. Just ask Arthur Dent, Ford Prefect or Zaphod Beeblebrox.

A car cupholder reworked to be a seat for Rufus? Cool! And the Rufus-shaped drones in the air ducts is equally good. Leave it to Sheila and Drew to come up with interesting ways to make sure that a burglar's life is not a happy one. Note that Marcus Mann seems to have no knowledge of the nature of the security system and how effective it is. Where does Mann get his back-up information? "The Old Farmer's Almanac" for 1932?

By the way, in one episode of the TV series "Buzz Lightyear of Star Command," Evil Emperor Zurg is setting up a new lair, and he insists that the air ducts must be too small for heroes to crawl through. In another episode, when Mira Nova and Buzz infiltrate a building through the air ducts, Mira protests, "It's so . . . cliche!" But your story puts a spin on the "air ducts as a way in" routine that is really fun.

Just who this Smythe character is, I do not know, but he is obviously bad news. There's a connection with Rick O'Shea, but just how this will pan out I have no idea, yet. But I noticed that even though Ron is sick and working alone, he puts a major spoke in Smythe's wheel in this chapter.

Ron is certainly feeling depressed at the end, and I think he has a right to. It appears to him that nobody gives a damn about him, or what he can do. He's just something to be disregarded. Of course, that isn't correct, and Kim will tell him so, but between his parents carelessness, the way Mann stomped on Ron's life, and his illness, I'd say the Ronster is in need of some serious rest & rehab.

Good story, moves well, and you are keeping several plot lines going all at the same time. I like this!

LTAOZFAN

"Them's my views, amen, so be it."

"Treasure Island," by R. L. Stevenson
LTAOZFAN chapter 5 . 10/13/2008
Anne has every right to chew two feet off the tail surfaces of both of Ron's parents - they dropped the ball, bigtime, no mistake! And I love that 'For Sale' sign bit - right out of "A Sitch in Time." Hopefully the Stoppables will pay better attention to Ron's health in future.

So, Marcus Mann has stonewall-blocked Ron's future to protect his plans for 'Super-Agent Kim Possible' and to build his own ego? And he is doing this also to spite Dr. Director. No question, Mann is worse than bad. He's a fool! The sooner he is Out the Door at GJ, the better all around. I wonder if Will Du became a stuffed shirt because of Mann's support, or in spite of it?

So, this fellow "Smythe" has a connection to Marcus Mann, and is burrowing into the company run by Rick O'Shea's father. O'Shea, Senior, is building up trouble for himself by trusting this "Smythe" guy.

It's nice to see that Sheila (ex-Shego) and Ron are friendly, in spite of all the combat we saw in the TV series. I guess they both understand the strength the other has, and there is mutual respect, as well. Just as it should be. They are both solid characters.

I wonder just what gift Ron wants to give Kim? Next chapter, please!

LTAOZFAN

"Them's my views, amen, so be it."

"Treasure Island," by R. L. Stevenson
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