|Reviews for An Unexpected Visitor|
| AC2 chapter 1 . 7/21/2009
My goodness, this was a fun read! I usually object to GIMEs, but this is very good and very well written. Added to the Best GIME thread on CWT.
"He cast his eyes aside from all that bare flesh. His gaze had an embarrassing tendency to wander back to it when he wasn't concentrating. She certainly needs some more clothes. And some more suitable footwear. She won't be able to walk in those things." He indicated the ridiculous shoes.
Quote marks in the wrong place.
Where are you from[comma] Madam
You actually need the comma there to make the sentence make sense grammatically because you are doing two things: asking a question and addressing the character. The comma is to separate those two parts of the sentence.
You're missing bits of punctuation in places. I can nitpick this, if you like.
Apart from the niggles (which are no big deal really), I truly enjoyed this. :D
| Inspired.Butterfly chapter 1 . 8/14/2008
Um...very interesting I must say...but...I agree that Boromir was out of character...he seems honorable, not perverted in any way...:3 Well, I'm also a bit confused...:3 But, it's a GOOD start...and can't wait to see what else you have in store for this story...
| UrbanFool chapter 1 . 7/10/2008
HAHAHAHAHA! Great read. Now I'll be wondering what Puck's punishment was, however.
| Aelaer chapter 1 . 7/8/2008
Interesting. I do not agree with the characterization of Boromir- he is a much more honorable man, I think- and I think the Fellowship would be much more alarmed about her knowledge. But otherwise, it was an interesting tale.