|Reviews for Sognando|
| ElizabethAnneSoph chapter 1 . 6/28/2012
Cute, romantic and to the point! Wonderful I like romantic stories!
| Goddess-Divine-05 chapter 1 . 9/19/2010
Beautiful story, hilarious ending. I love it!
| dreamerxofxroses chapter 1 . 12/1/2008
Nice take on an old story. I liked it. _
| Danceronpointe chapter 1 . 11/26/2008
ha ha, nice story, nice take on the nutcracker
| piewacket chapter 1 . 8/14/2008
I received my regular fix of ballet fic from you. Through the course of these challenges, I have watched you grow as a writer. Each story has become progressively more detailed and satisfying. Good job!
| AC2 chapter 1 . 8/7/2008
you have improved tremendously as a writer, paying careful attention to the advice given you. The story is coherent and flows well, the psychology is on straight and the events are as true to canon as can be, the plot additions notwithstanding. I love the Nutcracker, and this is a vivid rendering of the tale. I really enjoyed the fic, and you have something to be proud of here.
Just a few minor niggles:
"Thanks a bunch!" Masha gave a fake smile again before turning towards her gift. It looked really nice now, mended neatly and everything. [I]I wonder if he bought two. Everyone knows that Fritz is a trouble maker, after all.
Maria was woken up by a loud "bang!" Her eyes widened as she took in her surroundings. She was in the parlor, on her mattress, except everything was bigger. (Didn't she refuse her matteress and insist on sleeping on the floor?)
She shrugged. When he promised to show her to the Land of Sweets, where she could meet the Sugar-Plum Fairy, SHE blinked, a bit confused. However, she agreed to go with him.
[Her] She ignored the applause and instead marched towards the end, where the Sugar-Plum Fairy stood[,] waiting.
She curled up on her bed, waiting for a little while, until her nurse rushed into her room, shaking her hurriEdly.
"Hello." She smiled shyly, only barely [realizing] remembering that he looked identical to the Prince from her dreams. He, however, [was able to realize that she was] recognized her as the one who had so kindly helped him.
"Excuse me, ma'am, but you did pick out the ribbon?" Peter now turned to aDdress his fiancée's mother.
| DevilWearsJeans chapter 1 . 8/1/2008
That’s a very good story, Viv. I liked it a lot.
To my own shame it was quite a while since I watched Nutcracker and I forgot a lot of things but the cliché seemed believable. I hope that it was what I think it was; in other case I might be screwed.
The only thing, though:
"Excuse me, ma'am, but you did pick out the ribbons?"
“Yes, but why in the world did you make it pink?”
Ribbons – as in more than one. I might be wrong about this one but if you have ribbons [plural] you need to have “them” not “it”.
But that might just be me.
Anyhow, a lovely fic. I enjoyed it a lot.
| thexamimi chapter 1 . 7/29/2008
Incredibly well-written, and I got really entranced with it Viv!
So entranced that I totally forgot it was the Flame's fic challenge, so when I had gotten to the last line, I was struck.
This was "viv"idly written and even though cliche, I liked the foreplay of it. I know, weird right?
And the ending...hah. Serves the mother right.
Lovely, lovely ballet lover. )
| Kiseki Lin chapter 1 . 7/22/2008
Viv, deary, I loved this!
Fritz reminded me a lot of my younger sister and Maria as me (except I can't have my fairy tale prince! Phooey!)
I'm not familiar with the Nutcracker as I recall that I last seen it maybe several years ago. It certainly has been a long time since I heard Nutcracker.
The only thing that I felt weird about was the name switching between Maria. I'm guessing Maria is her real name and Masha is her nickname? I thought they were two different people and I got confused for a moment.
Otherwise, I really liked this fic.
| aidanadia chapter 1 . 7/20/2008
I don't know why I always do that.
Anyways, that was such a cute fic! I was... semi familiar with the fandom. I watched Barbie and the Nutcracker. I love that one. :D
I really liked Masha's character. She was so sweet, and the neglect was a bit under the surface, which worked. I mean, it wasn't just her mother senselessly beating her up or something.
And the last line just made me burst into peals of laughter. Sarcasm ftw!
You know, I think this is the best story you've written yet. Nice one.
| strawberries and napkins chapter 1 . 7/20/2008
I saw the Nutcracker so long ago! Sadly, I remember nothing much about it, save for the fact that we got like third row seats or something which I thought was just so awesome as child. And then sometime in my early teens I watched the Barbie version of the Nutcracker, and I was actually getting into it and then the fight scene between the nutcracker and king came on, and the small girl I was watching it with told me that that scene was too scary and she stopped the DVD. I was like, "Are you kidding me? It's not scary at all! It has mice in it!" This is another reason why I hate small children.
Anyway, enough about me because we need to talk about you. And your story in specific.
I really enjoyed reading it...it was really cool that I would connect with the vague and unspecific memories I had from seeing the production when I was younger and it helped me piece together a bit of the story that I had forgotten. I think last line fit so fabulously into the whole story and...just wow. It was amazing how you added it in. It was my favorite line in the whole entire fic and I mean really. Absolutely amazing.
Another thing that I picked up were some really well done sentences. They gave the fic such a unique attitude and voice, being done in just the right amount where it didn't get too obnoxious.
However, one thing I would like to point upon for improvement is to just include a little more detail as far as what the characters are feeling.
Like this line:
/Maria sighed. Now she'd have to deal with an annoying, pompous husband. Joy./
For something back then, where divorce was taboo, I think that even though she knew that she wouldn't really have the chance of marrying someone because she loved them, the finality of being engaged would call for much more than a simple sarcastic remark to herself.
You provide enough detail in showing the characters actions and whatnot, but just going that extra mile in providing a bit more detail will make them all the more human and relatable for your readers. I have the same exact problem, myself.
Oh-and you didn't mention what the cliche was! And three in the morning is not the time that I am able to figure out such profound things like that. ;]
Anyway, overall this was great! I only caught one obvious mistake, which is no big deal whatsoever, and I loved how the whole thing blossomed and developed out.
Good luck in the challenge!
| neutralizing chapter 1 . 7/18/2008
You really love your ballet, don'tcha? ;)
All in all, I liked this story, though in no way, shape or form am I intimate with ballet. The whole "Mama" and "Papa" names have always appealed to me, so I got the warm fuzzies reading that, even if that wasn't your intention. xD
The last two lines made me laugh: absolutely perfect. You hit the nail on the head with that.
Good luck in the challenge! :D