|Reviews for Im With You|
| romanceaholic chapter 31 . 6/15/2009
For someone so young, I found your story refreshing and entertaining. It invoked a spectrum of emotions. I found myself smiling with the good news Angela and Hodgkins' baby. Tears during the comas. You express plot, emotions, personalities in your writings. I found you sense of the characters extremely well. I will read the sequel now. You have talent.
| RebellingProdigy chapter 3 . 11/10/2008
I love Bones but I missed this episode so its good to get a basic idea of what happened. I know the story is finished but I've only just seen it so bear with me, there are a few grammatical errors I have seen, the first was in the previous chapter i think, you wrote knew instead of known, and the second in this chapter, Angela said them wires instead of those. Other than that, I'm loving what I've read so far :D
| Tomato-Vampire-Countess chapter 29 . 11/8/2008
When my sister was in a coma, she had dreams about a mummy in her bed *Shivers*, falling, like, five feet to the ground with nothing slowly her down and doing a face plant, and her family dying, so...*Shrugs* Depends on what happens to them when they're in the coma, she had died for about five seconds before she was revived.
| YoureMyTicket chapter 22 . 10/26/2008
OH SNAP! This story is so intense, well done.
| mendenbar chapter 30 . 10/23/2008
I will always read sequels of good stories, silly!
| LoT56 chapter 30 . 10/21/2008
| Joker88 chapter 30 . 10/21/2008
This was a fine story. I think you need to work on figuring out what words mean and your sentence structure is strange at best. Some of you ideas seem cut short, and you need to run through your writing and fix the flow. Other than that you've got a fine plot and a good idea. You should keep your chapters long and the number of updates dow. Thirty updates for a story is too much, it's a headache to read. With practice you'll get better.
I'm thinking that you also need to write what heppened in between dialog, you need to explain setting and character more than you are. It helps keep the characters in character without them blending together. Don't be afraid to use the word 'said' yes it gets a little annoying if you use it too often but your style seems dry and studied without it. It's not a contest to see how many long words you can fit into a story, it's how well the reader can empathize and understand how a characetr acts and behaves. Your dialog is good for the most part, a little generic but good.
So mainly I'd work on the quality of writing with more heart and less mind. Think things through before you write them though. see look at this "Booth! How long have you been there ? It is rude to stare," cried Temperance, shaking her head.''cried Temperance, shaking her head.'has two actions where one can be used and the other explained. You need to get her reaction from standing there, need what each character is feeling.
But don't overstate it, keep it simple, easy to read. You're style is jerky where you've tried to jam pack your diction with phrases and figurative language.
What I would do is read more, read a ton. It helps alot to see how other authors handle the problems that you come up against.
But yes, you are getting better and I enjoyed reading this.
I know that this seems like a flame but it's not. It's to help you. Reviews aren't there to make you feel better, they're there to help you become a better writer.
| detectivespencer chapter 30 . 10/21/2008
OF COURSE i would read the sequel!
nice update by the way! (:
| csimesser1 chapter 30 . 10/21/2008
that was really good can't wait to read the next chapter
| csimesser1 chapter 29 . 10/21/2008
that was good
| csimesser1 chapter 28 . 10/21/2008
that was good
| xlaurajanex chapter 29 . 9/6/2008
Wow! Loved it
| mendenbar chapter 29 . 9/5/2008
Not ridiculous at all. Medical science has long determined that patients in a coma can still hear everything around them. Sweet and touching chapter.
| JelloStix chapter 29 . 9/4/2008
oh how sweet that she heard every thing...
| bb-4ever chapter 29 . 9/4/2008
great chapter. not ridiculous at all i've heard people think they were in a better place, with people they'd lost. will she get past this, will she tell booth? how's booth going to handle it? look forward to more soon