|Reviews for The Rushing Wind|
| FullmetalShortOne chapter 6 . 9/7/2008
I really love this story so far! you keep them in character very well and I love the line in one of the chapters when Mao says "Just hit Weber...makes me feel better..."[something like that]
anyway. awesome story. keep it up! :D I look forward to the next chapter. :]
| Moeyjo chapter 6 . 9/3/2008
YAY! You updated! This fic is so interesting :-D
| animemanganet chapter 6 . 9/2/2008
| kaname's harisen chapter 6 . 9/2/2008
I loved it! This chapter was great on so many levels. First of all, kudos to you for upping your descriptive game. It really helps this chapter feel solid, much more than the last. And the character interaction! I loved the way you handled Wraith & Kaname' conversation (the chemistry was beautiful!) and managed to, for this story at least, fill in some the blanks about Wraith's true self. The scenes with Weber were also done very well. The kiss at the end was especially brilliant (hooray for feminine intuition!). You also moved the plot forward a bit, with the whispers & the impromtu study session, though I would like to see a bit more in the coming chapters.
Oh, and if you ever have the time & inspiration, I would love to see a side story about what would've happened had Kaname actually been desperate enough for sleep to take Weber up on his "offer" to go the barracks :P
| Moeyjo chapter 5 . 8/22/2008
This is a great fic! You got everybody in character . Update soon please!
| RoninAlchemist25 chapter 5 . 8/11/2008
Oh, it gets better. Looking forward to your next update.
| RoninAlchemist25 chapter 4 . 8/11/2008
Okay, I like this a lot. It could use a bit more descriptive talent sometimes, but it's something that comes with practice and study, no offense. Looking forward to more from this.
| kaname's harisen chapter 5 . 8/11/2008
Hey secret! Sorry about the anonymous review! Umm... I forgot to sign in before I read the chapter. *smacks forehead* Anyway, the really long review directly below this was from me. Sorry about the confusion.
| Guest chapter 5 . 8/11/2008
This was a solid chapter, though it really feels more like a set-up for future chapters. Transitioning from one point to the next can sometimes be difficult. I don't have any criticsm for this chapter per se, but I do have a couple pieces of advice. Number one- don't rely too heavily on dialogue to move your story along. It can be a very effective tool, but you don't want to overdo it. Think about it in real life terms. Sure, people talk alot. But often, it's what we don't say that has the most meaning. And that brings me to my second piece of advice- remember to develop your characters. Rather than focusing on what the characters say & do, it is important to lead your readers to a point where they can feel what's going on inside the characters. We need descriptions of the small things- the little, meaningful glances, the almost imperceptible sweatdrops, the faint "doki-doki" of their heartbeats. We need to see "underneath the underneath" (sorry, lame Naruto reference). This is so hard to do effectively, but I know you can do it. You did it wonderfully in the prologue.
And as a side note- I noticed one of your reviewers giving you a bit of grief about Wraith being a girl? I have a bit to add to that. Actually, nowhere in the series so far, the anime (FMP!, Fumoffu, or TSR) or any of the manga or any of the novels (those that have been translated- officially or unofficially- into english), has a definite gender been given to Wraith. In the novel, Continuing On My Own, it was strongly hinted that Wraith was female, but it was neither confirmed or denied. People should at least get their facts straight before nitpicking on other's stories.
Well, I suppose that's enough of my rambling. I look forward to the next chapter!
| demiryu chapter 4 . 8/6/2008
I don't want to sound nit picky. But Wraith is a girl... She may be a master of disguise, but in no way is she a boy... Otherwise, good story. Everybody but Wraith is in good character.
| chris91k chapter 4 . 8/4/2008
another great chapter wonder what kaname's up to?
| kaname's harisen chapter 4 . 8/4/2008
I really loved the developments in this chapter. I have always thought that Kaname would eventually join Mithril. Maybe it's just my girlish wish to have a situation where Sousuke & Kaname would be able to be together permanently, but I honestly think it makes perfect sense. I am very excited to see where this is going next!
And I'm really glad you didn't kill off Wraith- he (or she?) is one of my favorite characters.
| Rogue15 chapter 4 . 8/4/2008
Is there a little tension in the air perhaps... What happens next should be interesting.
What is going on with sousuke though? He seems out of character. Hopefully that will be explained next chapter.
| Rogue15 chapter 3 . 8/3/2008
This is neat. I hope to see more of this. I really want to see where they go in their lives after this. I wonder what kaname will decide. Go to college or follow Sousuke. I am sure her knowlege can be used somehow.
One thing I have always wanted to see is a second submarine. Captain Chidori anyone?
There are two major oceans after all.
| chris91k chapter 3 . 7/29/2008
this was so good. i was wating for this chapter to be up and now it is! great story tension, loved the whole "revenge killer plot". keep up the good work. can't wait for chapter 4!