|Reviews for Sluagh|
| Jerden chapter 4 . 3/31/2013
Another interesting chapter, in which Neville goes deeper into the mess he's already plunging into. The tension just keeps building!
| Jerden chapter 2 . 3/31/2013
Chapter 2: in which the mystery deepens and a team is formed. This is going to be interesting.
| Jerden chapter 1 . 3/31/2013
This story has intrigued me already, and I've only read the first chapter. It seems like it's going to be very interesting.
| Susan M. M chapter 1 . 3/5/2013
Believable and painful.
| CarolanneFernandez chapter 1 . 1/20/2013
This story and its predecessor are the best Harry Potter stories I've ever read. Thank you so much.
| FashionablyHospitable chapter 28 . 1/1/2013
A HAPPY ENDING. Yay. But also a sequel. Nobody die please.
| FashionablyHospitable chapter 1 . 12/31/2012
People are going to die in this, aren't they.
| Emily chapter 9 . 11/22/2012
Ya feckin' hypocrite, Auror! Life ain't more value to ya than to me, ya don't bother that they're dead, ya know they're scum same's I, but just because I'm gettin' a thrill by it and ain't weepin' into me breakfast the next mornin, I'm a monster. How's it a better thing when a man who deserves to die gets what he's got comin' but manages to hurt the one what took him down? Better, ain't it, that the one dolin' out the justice ain't the last victim."
The thing thy scares me about Seamus saying that is, that's how maniacs rationalize what they're doing. Nazis, Death Eaters, whatever. They see the people that they're killing as evil and doing bad and think that murdering or torturing and that like As the proper right Thing to do. Death Eaters saw muggles and muggle borns as a threat to their ideal, as poisoning the well, hurting the wizard populace. They vilified them And saw murdering as taking care of a problem. Substitute death eater for Nazi or any of the awful groups you hear on the telly and look what you've got.
I live Seamus, and whether he was baiting Neville or not, he's got some scary thought processes going on.
| Guest chapter 9 . 11/22/2012
"Ya feckin' hypocrite, Auror! Life ain't more value to ya than to me, ya don't bother that they're dead, ya know they're scum same's I, but just because I'm gettin' a thrill by it and ain't weepin' into me breakfast the next mornin, I'm a monster. How's it a better thing when a man who deserves to die gets what he's got comin' but manages to hurt the one what took him down? Better, ain't it, that the one dolin' out the justice ain't the last victim."
The scary thing for me
| RumbleRoar811 chapter 26 . 10/30/2012
You're not soulessly evil after all! Yayyyy! Sorry but I've been dying the last couple of chapters... Who am I kidding I've been dying since Neville and Ernie were almost whipped to death in DAYD. You have woven an incredibly intricate tale of love, loss and friendship, all surrounded by death and pain. I love it.
| Rebakah chapter 22 . 9/23/2012
Oh and forgot to mention, the scene with Snape is my favorite. Well really Neville going back and having to act again as he once was. It was a spectacular eyeopener
| Rebakah chapter 28 . 9/23/2012
Your portrayal of Seamus is just out of this world. You make a man teetering on the brink of insanity (with some pitfalls) who murders brutally with little empathy likable. Lovable. I found myself routing for him throughout the story. And the friendship with Neville that develops at the end is what we've all been routing for. Putting them back on the same team.
I must admit I appreciate the happier ending. I read DAYD ages ago and loved it, but couldn't bring myself to read the sequel for ages because you make your characters so real that their deaths were heartbreaking. I think we all still mourn Ernie! If Neville had really lost Hannah? Ginny (one of my favorites in your stories though usually not) dead? etc.
On a side note, could you please explain the ending to me? Does that mean Dumbledore chose? Huh?
| khaleesea chapter 7 . 7/29/2012
"They were so different; the plump, bookish youngster who had only survived the battle because he was almost instantly stunned and the tough, high-spirited officer who had according to Ginny at one point held off five Death Eaters at once."
That's another thing: war changes people, and people are unpredictable when put into a corner. I mean, look at Pettigrew. No one expected him to betray his friends, but see how that turned out.
"'Don't say that!' Neville snapped, shuddering. 'Makes it sound like I forced him the way Ulster did me or something. Or like he was my house-elf! Ernie never –'
'I'm sorry!' Hermione flushed, looking a little startled by the vehemence of his outburst. 'I didn't mean it that way at all. I know you'd never do something like that, and even if I didn't know Macmillan particularly well, I do know that he had just as much stubbornness as loyalty. I don't think there was anyone who could have forced him to do anything at all against his will.'
'So what you're saying, Hermione,' Ron cut across the argument as he stepped carefully around the spreading pool of blood to join them beside Utterson, 'is that you don't think it could be him because it's not his wand, Macmillan having nothing to do with anything.'"
I like that it's Ron who's the levelheaded one here, though I suppose it helps that he doesn't have any particular emotional attachment to anyone they're discussing.
"'Brilliant question,' Ron smiled at him, 'actually about to ask that myself. Auror Weasley, Ministry of Magic.' He gestured at the other two, 'Auror Granger, Auror Longbottom – though him you might remember, if you haven't gone completely off your wand since the D.A., Mr. Utterson.'"
Aren't they all in disguise? How does Ron expect Icarus to recognize Neville? For that matter, the Polyjuice only makes you look like someone else. Would someone have to keep redoing the Transfigurations they did to Neville? Or would they stay until someone removed them?
"'Hate that permanent death part,' Ron interjected lightly, 'lots more inconvenient than the temporary kind.'"
This is kind of weird, but I think I unconsciously quoted this once at a kayak rental place.
"He had delivered the same litany himself dozens of times, but Neville remained impressed as always by Hermione's ability to do it in what always seemed to be a single breath and letter-perfect, even the commas audible in her flawless recitation."
Of course, it's Hermione. How could I have ever expected anything less?
"'Tragic how people will just drift apart,' Ron said sarcastically. 'But the thing is, we're pretty sure he's got something to do with this Sluagh business too, and Longbottom and I are really eager to catch up with him. We were all roomies for so long, we've been feeling nostalgic.'"
I love Ron. A lot. I love his sarcasm and wit (though at times he can be cruel and resentful), and I like how you've kept that while still letting him grow as a character.
"Ron looked down at the few remaining bites of the hearty breakfast she had insisted on preparing for all of them and nodded sheepishly, blushing. His mouth was still too full to answer, but Hermione sighed deeply, rolling her eyes. 'His mother feeds him plenty, Mrs. Finnigan, and so do I, I promise…no one's really been able to ever figure out where he puts it. Ron's just a particularly corporeal Vanishing Spell, I think. By all rights, he should be the size of an elephant. I'm so sorry….'"
I just really love Ron, okay. (I'm sorry, you probably expected some intelligent comments, but...) I suppose this is really just another one of my "wow look how well you write these characters" comments.
"'That he is,' Kate's smile was a tight mixture of pride and pain. 'Sent him to a Muggle primary school, ya know, and he'd be fair furious to hear me tell ya, but I kept the note from the first lass whose teeny heart he broke, I did. All in crayons and letters big's your fist, and she spelt his name s-h-a-y-m-i-s but t'point's clear enough: 'ya kiss me and ya kiss Molly and Sharon too and so ya stink lots.''"
Awwww! Just the thought of baby Seamus going around kissing girls is adorable. I can imagine it perfectly. Seamus was so charismatic and likable and I suppose that's one of the reasons I have trouble reading this one, because I love his character so much and I just want him to... get better? To be friends with his friends again? To stop brutally murdering people? Maybe it's that I want him to be a character I won't feel ashamed of loving, and I kind of hate myself for saying that, because I do love his character regardless (or perhaps because) of what he's done and what he's been through.
"'There are only two witches left in the Auror Department,' Hermione replied, 'so Ginny and I always wind up getting sent when the boys have chickened out about an upset witch. Rapes, murdered and missing husbands and children, having to tell witches that their loved ones are Death Eaters or informants…I've seen more of other women's pain and how they handle it than I ever wanted to by twenty-three.'"
Oh, those poor girls. Not only have they been through a ton on their own (far more than they should have by twenty-three), they have to deal with other people's pain as well?
"Merlin, but he'd been young. Young enough that he had mistaken pain for complexity, things that hurt for things that were truly vague in morality."
This is an interesting thought. I suppose the difference is that most complex decisions do hurt, but not all things that hurt are complex.
"Indeed, it was because magic – real magic, deep magic, the kind he'd only felt a few times in his life, not just simple little spells – was so awesome, so humbling, that he did not believe in a religion. It just seemed presumptuous to try and put words or rules or names on it, though he understood why others would want to."
I love all the tolerance that's in your fics. I also like that Neville doesn't believe in a religion: it suits his character.
"Seamus's hands slid down the sides of his head, running frantically over his cheeks, his neck, his shoulders and chest; pressing, stroking, seeking and petting him as his face shone with a manically rapturous light. 'Oh, mercy,' he murmured, 'I thought – I saw – but no, oh, no, 'cause here ya are and ah, what a fool I was, what a bloody feckin' fool, that's what they musta been tryin' to tell me, and I wouldn't listen, I thought – sweet Jesus, Dean.…'
Neville shook his head, trying desperately to regain his bearings. It had backfired, backfired completely. He had no idea, had never guessed that there was anything more than friendship between his two former roommates."
Okay, maybe I'm just saying this because I've read this before and know how it all plays out (and let me tell you that this is one of the most awkward scenes I've ever read, with the whole "let's have sex while one of us is wearing the face of your dead best friend" thing), but... in what alternate universe could this situation have ended well? At the very best they would have captured Seamus, but he would still be extremely angry at them and feel (rightfully) betrayed, so I can't really see him "snapping out of" his crazy murderous state. I suppose it would stop the killing, but it wouldn't help them save their friend.
"It was breathtaking, speaking of hundreds of hours of pain endured to form the ornate patterns that framed dozens of Celtic crosses, each inscribed with a name. Creevey. Patil. Brown. Macmillan. Thomas. Corner. Whitby. Boot. They were all there, every single one of the D.A. they had lost, and the living graveyard was the most beautiful and terrible thing he had ever seen."
Oh, no. I just... Seamus, love, it'll all work out, you're going to be all right, everything's going to be okay.
There's a reason I've reread DAYD multiple times, but haven't been able to bring myself to reread Sluagh before now. This just breaks my heart, it really does.
| bookworm42x chapter 20 . 7/24/2012
I am so confused.
Are Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Harry dead? Is Luna dead? Bloody hell, this isn't canon. I swear I'm not flaming-it's just surprising, because DAYD was all canon and now this is like being dunked in a bucket of cold water. Guess I just have to keep reading. Gee whiz. I wonder how this is going to end.
You're a great writer, though, so kudos to you!
| Guest chapter 6 . 7/24/2012
"Nothing was wrong with the memories themselves, they were even quite pleasant, but they also came with Harry sprawled on his bed, itching absently at his scar and pushing his glasses up on his nose every few lines as he worked at his own homework, Dean with his sketchpad, trying for the thousandth time to catch the sense of motion of the Whomping Willow in Muggle charcoal, and Seamus. Seamus, rosy-cheeked and bright-eyed, leaning over one shoulder and blowing ever so faintly in his best friend's ear until the other boy whirled and threw the charcoal at him, sending him to the floor in a ball of riotous laughter with a black smudge across his freckled nose."
Dean and Seamus are so cute. They were definitely one of my brotps from the books, and I like the way you've written them here.
"Too bad that you would need a Time Turner to undo the accidental smashing of the Time Turners. Really almost funny in a sick kind of irony."
"Really almost funny" is one of my favorite phrases from this chapter. I like that the oxymoron sort of highlights the irony in that sentence, if that makes any sense at all (it probably doesn't). But the smashing of the Time Turners always struck me as kind of weird. The Ministry stored ALL the Time Turners in that spot? I'm sure it wasn't just Hermione that got a Time Turner, so wouldn't some students have had some at the time of the smashing? In fact, what happened to Hermione's Time Turner after Prisoner of Azkaban? It's never mentioned again, and I don't remember her having to turn it in or anything (though I don't have the book with me, so I could be wrong).
"Hermione's saying we still need to nurse this a little more, but I'm going to marry the girl, I've been in love with her since I was somewhere in third or fourth year, I know better than anybody when she actually needs to keep working on something and when she's just going over and over the same stuff because she gets obsessive and scared when things really matter. We're crossing towards obsessive and scared."
I know I've said this before, but I really like the way you've written the relationship between these characters. DAYD had a lot of OCs and minor characters who didn't show up much in canon, and it's nice to see that you preserve the personalities of the trio.
"'I never thought I could want anyone at the end of my wand this badly since your mother got Bellatrix, and I never, never imagined it could be Seamus.'"
Neither did I, Neville, neither did I. The phrasing of this sentence strikes me as a little weird, though. He's never wanted to kill anyone this badly since Bellatrix died? Would it not be more concise (and a bit less less confusing) to cut the phrase "your mother got"? The sentence would then read "I never thought I could want anyone at the end of my wand this badly since Bellatrix, and I never, never imagined it could be Seamus".
"'We're all survivors. Hermione never goes anywhere without a little bag in her pocket that's packed with enough supplies to house an army for six months…even showers with it right by the edge of the tub where she could grab it, not that you ever heard it from me. I don't think I've had a night yet where I've not had at least one good gasping nightmare, and I've only been able to bring myself to go back to Hogwarts the once when they unveiled the memorial.'"
All these kids are now suffering from PTSD, and it hurts because they shouldn't have to. Like Neville said in one of the earlier chapters, being in your twenties is very young indeed, and the fact that they had to go through so much when they were in their late teens... The saddest part is that I wouldn't be surprised if Ron wasn't exaggerating when he says "enough supplies to house an army".
"'…and sometimes, I still want to kill him, but I feel like I should do it as a friend. As a mercy. If he's never actually gotten out of that night, he's still in hell, and there's nothing that the Ministry or anyone else could do to him that would be more punishment than that.'"
Here, Neville goes from wanting to save Seamus to hating him to wanting to kill him "as a mercy". I think this says a lot about his character: that even when he hates his friend, he still loves him enough to try to save him.
"It made the resentment writhe in Neville's chest that the Irishman hadn't even bothered to leave himself easy access to the weapons. He didn't need to…his weapon was the oak and dragon heartstring in his pet wizard's pocket, and the light whistle that skimmed through his lips knew that."
You know when someone starts to annoy you, and then you start noticing all the little annoying things that they do? The stupid way they hold their pencil, the stupid noises they make every few seconds, the way they start all their sentences with "So like I was saying"? I imagine Neville's feeling much the same in this scene, and I love the way you portrayed that aggravation and resentment.
"There, now that he was looking for it he could hear it clearly: the indeterminate buzz of a Muffliato Charm."
I'm not entirely sure why I like this sentence so much, but I really do. I suppose I like the idea of "if you know what you're looking for, magic's all around you".
"His mouth worked for a moment in wordless shock, then he forced out the name of the young man still so recognizable as the fifth-year Ravenclaw from Dublin he had known all those years ago."
Nothing more dangerous than an angry Ravenclaw... In fact, I think I wrote an essay about that once, but unfortunately I can no longer find it. Well, I suppose you sum it all up quite nicely in that quote I'm so fond of: "There is nothing more dangerous than a little too much knowledge and a conscience that is open to debate".