Reviews for Demon Within
Doom Marine 54 chapter 2 . 8/6/2011
Your grammer and sentence structure need work, you don't transition scenes just pass in and out of them, the story is going too fast and is under developed, you character is a bit overpowered plus having a western name seems odd and out of place, your don't develop your characters, and she seems a tad bit overpowered. Hope this review helped.