|Reviews for Freedom For All?|
| One Lucky Unicorn chapter 5 . 9/28/2009
Yes, I have finally finished reading the latest chapters!
“What you’re doing? This isn’t right!” - Maybe it’s just me, or maybe I’m reading this wrong, but this sentence seems like it could be combined. Like ““What you’re doing isn’t right!”
I love Static‘s commentary as he and Run head to the Institute. And cool, the Brotherhood is here!
CONS: Interesting you chose to focus on Scott, who seems to be largely despised/or underrated by many. Though I admit I think he’s a jerk in here. Was he really that unfriendly and arrogant in the show?
“Uh, I think he means us; metahumans?” I think the semi-colon could be replaced with a dash.
“The Marsh—” I know Static was cut off here, but it looks odd not to have “Mart -” there instead of “Marsh -”. I think most readers familiar with JLU would know that Static was about to refer to the Martian Manhunter (unless someone told you that this was the better why to handle this sentence).
“This kid’s ignorance of, not only the gravity of the mutant community’s situation, but also of world events is really starting to frustrate me.” The comma between “of” and “not” shouldn’t be there, I think.
Whadoya call this place?” I’ve always seen it spelled “whaddaya”, but maybe this is just a regional spelling thing.
“Oh! No, heh, just a regular, old human.” - I think you should loose the comma between “regular” and “old”.
“My bike had drawn the interest of a couple tweakers,” You’re missing the word “of” here.
PROS: I really liked how you have Lycan describe her pain as a “silent storm”. What’s going on with her, I wonder? I hope she’ll be alright. I find myself really enjoying Tony’s character. The powers are both interesting and useful. Likewise, I hope he can escape his current predicament. Josh seems like sweetheart, and I’m curious to se what his powers are. LOL, poor Clark got off on the wrong foot with his new instructor. His thoughts about having to fire a gun and learning how to were very interesting, and I wonder he’ll do when it’s time for him to go out in the field and see what the Vanguard‘s really all about.
Keep up the good work!
| HK-47 Scarlet chapter 4 . 8/17/2009
It's been a while! And since it's been so long since I've read and reviewed this, I'll get straight to it.
This chapter was very entertaining. I think it's the different reactions from the different characters; I found myself comparing their reactions, and found it interesting how each of them deal with it so differently from one another. Virgil seems to be taking it in strides, Ron seems horrified, Lycan(at least to me) seems kind of frustrated, ect. It made it all the more enjoyable to read.
/“Look, if it makes you feel better, I’m… I’m a mutant too.” He appears ashamed by the admission. What in the heck is a mutant?
“Uh, good for you.”/
Hah, that made me laugh. He seems to be far too lost in his own thoughts to know what to say. I like how he's constantly thinking with that whole 'what would Batman' do mentality. I smell awesome character development!
I think my favorite part was the scene with Virgil and Ron; the whole thing. It's just so fun to read about him in this situation, or in any situation really. I love how he's so impressed by the X-men and their jet, and the hidden runway. Lol, poor Ron.
So, this chapter was very entertaining. Everyone seems to be handling the situation rather realistically, as far as I can tell.
I really do love your TT Robin. XD
| White Eyebrow chapter 3 . 8/15/2009
I chose chapter 4 because it seemed to have the least concrit as compared to the others.
My first impression of this was you are a brave soul for trying to weave all these fandoms together. At first I was afraid this was going to take too much effort to get into. However I was pleasantly surprised to say that this works. One reason could be that I am familiar with all of the fandoms in this narrative stew.
Anyway, the comic-book style multi-character pov, I think, really sells it. As far I can tell, all the characterizations are spot on - which is very important in a crossover story. The characterizations do a good job of advancing the plot; I shared their confusion, and their little quirks served to advance the plot. I also like the fact that you are taking your time to tell the story, unfolding everthing in due course (that is the impression I get anyway.)
Although well written, your wording got clunky in a few places.
"Concluding it’s a stupid idea, I [reposition myself, slumping against the window frame for greater support/maintain my position, slumped against the window frame], and roll my head to gaze out at the modest suburban homes lining the next cul-de-sac."
I kept re-reading this and could not, for the life of me, figure this sentence out (probably cuz I'm sleepy, or maybe because of the brackets?). But it still brought me out of the story.
I was pretty groggy this morning so the only other nitpick I saw was:
"As the new pain subsides I decide maybe subtlety will afford me better luck."
Where you missed a comma after 'subsides'
I was really eager to see Superman kick Magneto's butt. (Or maybe Ron vs. Magneto? :p)
| Storm Warning chapter 5 . 7/13/2009
So great! Love all the characters!
| lushifuhr chapter 5 . 7/11/2009
Finally got to this review window, after trying fourteen times.
Now, as you know, I'm not that familiar with the fandoms you use for this story, but I able to discern a plot and recognize some characters from your other stories.
I have two questions:
- Are Dana and Dane the same characters? (Forgive me if this is a dumb question)
- Is Dane in disguise, or taken over by someone else?
I loved the part with the clueless Ronald (I know that character)
'‘Kid’s fifteen, sixteen at best. Stupid; what does he really think he can do to me? I guess people have forgotten who Robin is on the East Coast.
I may have to remind them.' For some reason, I really ejoyed that particular phrase. I kind of imagined a dark voice and a menacing face along with that.
The fight of tony with the robot was well descripted, and tony's thoughts made it entertaining to read. The '“Mutant target acquired; mutant capture sequence initiated.”
What the—?' Kind of caught me off-guard. i'm cruious as to how this will continue XD
I found myself fascinated with Clark Kent's inner struggle: he fights along side humans, and humans hate his kind and his kind fights the humans.. if I got that correctly? I'd crack if I were him.
And erhm.. that my rambling on this chapter. I enjoyed reading it and I love the first person point of view, it just gives a little more depth to the story. Now, my review window is acting really funny so I'll leave it at this. If I need to clarify anything, please let me know ;)
| HK-47 Scarlet chapter 3 . 5/27/2009
I finally got around to chapter three, and I'm still impressed. The plot is appealing, and has questions running through my head. You do a good job of using the first person in the present tense; this fic had actually inspired me to use the first person, which I turned out to really enjoy. If you recall; I said I didn't really like it in my earlier reviews. Congratulations, you have reformed me. ;) LOL.
/It must have been Kitty’s scream I heard. I can hear the distress in Rogue’s voice screaming her name, so I charge in their direction as fast as I can. I pass a heap of twisted car parts and junk to arrive on a scene of stillness amid rampant chaos. Wolverine is still fighting but Rogue, Storm and Shadowcat are just staring. Kitty is sitting under a giant blue-green ball floating about eight feet above her.
“Shadowcat! Get away from there!” My reverie breaks when the azure sphere loses its stability and starts changing in size and shape. Shadowcat’s paralysis seems to break too, and she scrambles away from the new weapon the Vanguard has thrown at us. I’m not sure what it’s for, or what it does, but whatever it is I need to destroy it before it hurts anyone. I take aim, resting my finger on my visor’s trigger, as gale force winds begin pouring out of a reverse-vortex forming in the middle./
I found that piece to be very visual; the descriptions you used and the way you worded everything helped me visualize the event in my head.
/I take aim, resting my finger on my visor’s trigger, as gale force winds begin pouring out of a reverse-vortex forming in the middle./
That was my favorite part, as I was able to picture the exact thing you described. It was a true comic book moment; It should be drawn somewhere.
/I awake, tumbling. There is a strong wind all around me, but I’m not hitting anything. I open my eyes in time to watch, stricken, as the ground rushes up at me just before my gaze goes skyward again and I hit. As a human, I’d be dead. My bones would be crushed to splinters and powder, and my flesh would be a disgusting puddle of goo. But I’m Kryptonian, so I stagger to my feet, suffering from a mild headache, and survey the crater around me./
More good visuals. I think seeing yourself plummeting to the ground would be very scary, and I'm glad you threw that bit in there. That image is stuck in my head now.
/I’m not sure how long I was unconscious, but it couldn’t have been long because when I come to again, my bike and I are flying through the air, down to the city street ten feet below. I have just enough time to get upright when my tires hit asphalt./
That little scene was my favorite of all the 'arrivals.' It was just so Robin like; he WOULD land in such an awesome manner.
/What would Batman do? The old man knew practically everything about this sort of thing. I think the first thing he’d do is find out where he was- no, find some regular clothes; it’s light out. Wait, can I really trust this guy? Maybe I should tie him up and call Mr. Wayne. Or…/
Interesting; it's like a person of today asking, 'what would Jesus do?', LOL. Anyway, I think Robin's dependence on Batman is an interesting character trait; ESPECIALLY since Batman isn't there. What will Robin do now?
/“Or the right time!” I zap a hubcap lying nearby and hop on. Gathering a charge I get ready to electrocute the enemy but Shocker blocks me and does it herself./
I liked this; typical Static to have his Super Hero instincts kick in.
/Five years ago, I would’ve puked; three years ago, I would’ve shed a tear; today, I simply turn away and shuffle forward on unsteady legs to get a closer look at the rally./
She's interesting; I look forward to reading more about her. You really get a feel of how this whole 'becoming Batman' things has changed her. I assume her time with Bruce Wayne also has something to do with it?
All in all; it was very interesting. I find myself curious as to what will happen next; I'm also curious about Harry and the others. That should be interesting when it comes up again. I like the over all feel of the fic; that good old fashion cartoon network feeling, not in a bad way. It actually means you captured feeling of the shows perfectly, while adding your own personal touch, which really shows. Though, some of those shows weren't on cartoon network, I think.
Anyway, great job! I look forward to reading more. And in case you didn't get my third attempt at sending you my reply about Beta-ing your parody, I said yes. XD
Scarlet The Imperfect
| Shuna chapter 4 . 4/28/2009
Sorry! I meant to review sooner, but I was so unfortunate to forget after loads of work. But, now I finally did and I have a few questions...
1: Is Meta the same thing as Mutant? If not, what's the diffrence?
2: Tony McGinnis, what conection does he have to Bruce Wayne (or Batman if you prefer that)?
Other from that, I think I have some idea of what's going on and am intruged
| HK-47 Scarlet chapter 2 . 4/11/2009
Wow, another interesting chapter. It is time for you to sit through all the things I liked about it! ;]
-“I won‘t leave you!” The swirling winds seem to redouble their determination. Hands starting to slip, I try to compose a witty final goodbye.
“Better just me than both of us! I love you-u!”-
I think I may have heard of Nightwish, but I am 100% alien to this fandom, BUT, I still enjoyed that little piece.
-“What is that?” Starfire, the air-headed bimbo, is always so helpful.-
I love Starefire, but that part just made me laugh. She cant indeed be an air head, but she's really supposed to be really smart to if I'm not mistaken, right? I forget. Question! Pardon my ignorance, but who is Lycan? OC or canon? I didn't watch too far in to TTs. That's my ultimate flaw, I almost never finish a series. Either way, the way she is portrayed in this fic is interesting. Id' also like to take this time to say I love Robin, and I love what you did with him.
-"What is that?" How should I know? I just asked you that! For complete simpletons, Crabbe and Goyle have a little more sense than Malfoy, and blow past me a full three seconds before he begins stumbling over his own robes in a mad dash for Hogwarts.-
Heh, Malfoy is so ingenious, eh? I don't know why, but the imagery in that particular part stuck out with me. Also in this part: -Ron, looking very much like a gazelle in a room full of lions, covered the last few meters just after Hermione. "I don't know about you guys, but I'd like to get out of here before we find out."-
Just by the way you wrote it, I was able to picture that little scene as if I were watching the movie. Ron's facial expression was as clear as day to me.
All in all, loved the chapter. This has encouraged me to read outside my usual choice of fandoms as well, but for now I'll stick to your story. XD I think the plot as a whole is very interesting, it seems like you've thought it out well. I am actually really curious. Gee, I had other things to say but I totally forgot. :(
Also, I like the definitions at the end, 'cause they were honestly a real help. I like being able to just look at the bottom if I need to know something. As you can tell, my memory sucks, so I tend to forget certain meanings in such. So, looking forward to reading and reviewing the next chapter!
Scarlet, The Ever So Imperfect One
| HK-47 Scarlet chapter 1 . 4/10/2009
Well, this certainly is interesting. I normally find myself stopping in the middle of a fic to do something else, as I have a low attention span, but I'm glad to say here I read straight through.
It has indeed been a while since I've read or watched any of these fandoms, but as far as I can tell you have the characterization spot on. Not a single trace of OOC can I spot, and that is damn refreshing. Actually, reading this made me want to revisit Static Shock, Teen Titans, and Batman beyond. Never been a huge fan of Superman, but I don't cringe at the thought of reading about him here.
Now, first person is something I never liked, and I never read a fic written in third person. I usually tend to hate the way they're written, but you seem to know what you're doing when using this perspective. I like the way it's written, it's easy to just read on through, without having to stop.
All in all, this fic so far is very interesting, and I sure do intend to continue reading. I really look forward to see where this is going!
| jafarjasmineforever2005 chapter 4 . 3/16/2009
Great update, keep going!
| Firestar385 chapter 4 . 3/14/2009
like so far please continue
| Lady Elizabeth of New York chapter 4 . 3/10/2009
Okay, can't wait till they meet. THis is going hard considering all the characters you have.
| Storm Warning chapter 4 . 3/9/2009
O thanks 4 updating! Such a great plot! You've included everyone of my fav characters!
| Lady Elizabeth of New York chapter 3 . 2/9/2009
It is a little confusing but I like it.
| Jafar's True Love chapter 3 . 1/21/2009
Very well done :)