|Reviews for Whispers of the Forest Elves|
| Peace Like a River chapter 4 . 1/22/2009
Cutest. Story. Ever.
I adore the way you portray young Christine and Raoul, and I love your writing style. The dialogue especially feels right, considering how long ago POTO was supposed to take place. The only thing that jarred me a little was how mature Christine sounds for a seven-year-old... but then again, they're unusual children to begin with, lol. Just curious, were you planning on finishing this? I'd really love it if you did... -hint- -hint-
Anyways, this is going in my faves... and my alerts, too! Take care,
| Bialywhoos chapter 4 . 8/15/2008
Very nice chapter! I especially enjoyed the confrontation between Philippe and Christine's father. Although it is different from my usual characterization, I loved your characterization of Phillippe. I was able to see a colder side of him that gave him a lot of depth. Great job!
I also liked this thought from Raoul why they are in the forrest:
“She is still feeling guilty for that…” Raoul realized. “Christine, can’t you see that I would be willing to fend off a whole group of lynx, wolves, or anything else just for you…? You mean so much to me, Christine; that is the entire reason why I came here with you today…”
It was very sweet and expresses his true feelings for Christine well. It brought a huge smile to my face!
But I think you could have made this line a little better by tweaking it:
"It wasn’t the rain that he was worried about, of course; the lightning would prove to be a bigger problem for them."
The very end after the semi-colon seems a bit bland compared to the rest of your writing in this chapter. Maybe making it something like "The lightning would prove to be their biggest problem" or "The lightning would prove to be the most dangerous threat all day" would sound better. The original way you wrote it doesn't exactly give it that edge that makes you think of the situation as threatening. Tweak it a little and it will sound better!
Also, I didn't much like the flashback from Raoul in it's context. It was well written and very sweet, but it took away from the action in this chapter. It would be a great idea for a oneshot, though!
But overall, I enjoyed this chapter! Update soon!
| LuckyLadybug chapter 4 . 8/15/2008
Christine's father interacting with Philippe is fun. X3 LOL at his nonchalance about the button, and acting as though they're in his hedge every day.
The image of the clearing being so still is very eerie, especially with the mushroom ring and them waiting for elves.
Raoul's flashback is really good, very intense and vivid! I think everything worked out fine. Christine being in awe of how smart he is, is so cute. But poor her, feeling so helpless and blaming herself!
I just found one typo:
The great flashes of lighting that had lit up the night sky…
Should be "lightning."
| Truth Questor chapter 4 . 8/14/2008
Nice use of the plot and dialogue to develop their relationship, and to foreshadow the future. As usual, your spelling and punctuation are excellent.
I would only question your use of quoation marks around Raoul's italicized thoughts. It would seem that the italics negate the need for quotation marks. Plus the quotation marks look a little confusing.
Keep writing! ~Raoul/Christine Forever!~
| The Duelist's Heiress chapter 4 . 8/14/2008
I loved it. The Raoul Christine was well done. They love each other even when they are young. So cute.
| The Duelist's Heiress chapter 3 . 8/7/2008
Aww... why is it that every time that the hero distracts something, they end up slightly regretting it? Man, Phillipe needs to Live a little.
| Bialywhoos chapter 3 . 8/7/2008
I liked this chapter a lot, especially Philippe's reflection on Raoul and how Raoul was trying to keep Christine protected. That was so cute, and shows that they always cared for each other, even in childhood.
I would just suggest adding more action and a little less dialogue to the first part of the story. The dialogue seems to water down the action of the lynx attack a bit.
| Truth Questor chapter 3 . 8/7/2008
The action is certainly picking up! I like how you write Raoul and Christine's characters. :) Your dialogue is really cute.
I still maintain, however, that the correct spelling is "all right" (see the paragraph beginning "Only after ensuring").
| LuckyLadybug chapter 3 . 8/7/2008
Yay cute chapter! I love the fanciful elements of their adventure and seeing the mushroom circle. It almost pulls one back to an age where things like elves seem real. It's very nostalgic and exciting.
And of course, their earlier escape from the lynx was intense. They're lucky she decided to let them go! I am puzzled over how Christine was able to start running from the lynx, though. XD; One minute she's clinging to the branch, then Raoul says to run and she does. There's no mention of her getting out of the tree first.
My favorite part is Philippe, however. X3 Yay for sibling cuteness and him wanting to better understand Raoul! I love the mention of how he himself had needed to act like an adult before his time, and that he really knew he was trying to do the same thing to Raoul.
And there's a few little typos.
First: “Heaven only know what those two get themselves into…”
Should be "knows."
Second: It seem as though the children of most other noblemen
Should be "seemed."
Third: And now look at where I’ve got us!
Missing opening quotation mark. XD;
Fourth: The sat by the circle of mushrooms for a few minutes.
Should be "they."
| LadyBastet92 chapter 2 . 8/5/2008
Aw, chibi Christine chibi Raoul
| LuckyLadybug chapter 2 . 7/22/2008
Poor Raoul and his dilemma! That would be so difficult, not wanting to break the trust but feeling that Christine should know and hating having to keep it from her. I love the comparisons between himself and Philippe, too, and the little one between Christine and Raoul's sisters. The monologues are my favorite part, as well as Christine and Raoul having a bit of banter.
Christine's so cute. XD And aww, a lynx kitten would be so cute, too. Whoops at angering the mother! That won't be good.
Found a couple of typos:
“I… I cannot say; I haven’t the powers to looking into the future, Christine,”
I'm guessing in the context that should be "look"?
And this sentence sounds awkward:
He trailed off as he turned around saw that the path had long been left behind.
Was there supposed to be an "and" after "around"?
| Bialywhoos chapter 2 . 7/21/2008
Oh, a cliffhanger! They better watch out!
I enjoyed this chapter a lot. You added in a lot more detail, and it made the story so much more intersting. I also love how you went from something so sad as Christine's father's illness to something so lighthearted as the elves, or in actuallity, the kitten. The transition was flawless!
The first and middle part about Christine and her father were so sad! I can't imagine how they feel. I think Monsieur Daae should just tell Christine since she suspects something, even though it will be heartbreaking. That would be such a great tear-jerking scene!
I'm not sure if I like your characterization of Philippe, though. Not that it isn't good, it's just that I always thought of him as kinder. But who knows, he wasn't a main character in the book, and I'm just used to characterizing him as the caring older brother. But then again, I could be wrong and you could have characterized him exactly as Mr. Leroux would have. :D
This line at the beginning sort of bugged me, too:
"Yet, in the back of his mind was the haunting thought that this might very well be the last adventure he would be able to share with Christine."
I think if you made it "this might well be the last adventure" it would sound better. But you're the author, you decide.
But I really did enjoy this chapter! Please update soon!
| Truth Questor chapter 2 . 7/21/2008
Whoops! Uh-oh! Dun-dun-dun...
I like how you get into Raoul's thoughts and emotions. I think "alright" should be spelled "all right". (At least, that's what I remember reading somewhere...)
| The Duelist's Heiress chapter 2 . 7/21/2008
Aw... Scarfshipping. I like your Raoul. I hope he can get Christine out of this mess. So cute. Update soon.
| Truth Questor chapter 1 . 7/17/2008
Cute so far! And you're welcome, although I still don't think I really did anything. :)
The only thing I'd change is "just a few years older than her" to "just a few years older than she", near the beginning.