|Reviews for Would You Really?|
| Falling Smoke chapter 1 . 5/12/2013
I really enjoyed this, I love Tien and Chiaotzu's relationship to death, and unfortunatley most people seem to take it romantic, so it's hard to find a platonic fic of them, this was the first one I found and I was not disappointed! It was very well written, it has a nice flow, they were true to their characters, and it was very adorable and heartfelt! Thanks for the wonderful read!
| The Guy who Is B chapter 1 . 3/28/2013
| ImagingThings chapter 1 . 11/21/2010
Sweet. And yay for Chiaotzu mentioning Lunch...
| Calla-Allac chapter 1 . 6/2/2010
_ Sigh DragonballZkai got me back into the fandom. All 8 episodes that are out xD;;
ANYWHO I JUST WANTED TO SAY- This is the first DBZ fanfiction I've read. Ever. :D And it makes me want to go find more(Are they any uber authors you know?) ._. The quality of writing, the topicness. Very lovely 8D
Oh sweetness, just checked your profile, and there's a lot more 8D I will definitely get to reading though
| Esplandian chapter 1 . 7/29/2009
Really, this fic is a rare one, not only for the quality, but because of the characters. Thank you for writing it.
| happy teacup chapter 1 . 7/25/2008
I AM NOT GOOD AT ENGLISH BUT I GAVE I TRY. JUST FOR TIEN AND CHAOZU. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH MORE THAN ANYTHING IN DBZ. ;_;
Hello friend! It is sad that you do not have any review, on this one as well as on other of your writting. So I decided to send one, although I am only a non-English speaker who can not even understand full sentences(u'). Despite this, I read some of your stories. I really like. Write without worry that nobody reads them. Don't be disencouraged! Frankly, if I wanted to read a story in my own language as well. They are my favorite characters and the friendship that exists between them is very interesting. A lot of interesting to work in a fanfic. Unfortunately, the others autors only make VegexBulma fics, which is already beginning to be boring.(personally, romance makes me bored 3) Despite my weak understanding of English (now I'm helping with a translator), I could make a critique for my review is not in vain. The manner in which you show the symmetry between them is quite good. Can I say nonsense? A little.' Too true, there is a total equalty of what they feel. You show it so well, they were completely unrequited. Also that their friendship it that strong that it could even surmont death.(proved by the anime!) I love this story, as well as all other yours these characters, I would have liked to leave a critique deeper than this nonsense, but unfortunately there are language barriers. (u_u)
On the other hand, maybe I did not think that Ten would be as open to say certain things. But I know that in reality he thinks theese, but I do not know if he can show his feelings in a extroverted manner. Anyway, perhaps Chaozu would be the exception? Again I say stupid things. '
You seem to approve critism and that's excelent!: "If you didn't like it, well...fine then... If you did a review telling me why would be greatly appreciated." That's great, writters like you are a really good thing u. You think the ending is bad? I quite like it. But maybe too happy-cute-sweet, I don't know. Maybe is that what you don't like. For your endings, think in a way more... silencious, or discret? For your other stories as well. Also, like I said before, Tien doesn't express feelings easily. He is cold lonely person. And Chaozu is actually quite apathetic, mysterious, not a really cute nice child. Even his appereance is based on a ghost or puppet, which is scary and misterious. Remember budokai DB? Krillin was even unconfortable because Chaozu's expression didn't change.
I guess that is due to a childhood bad past. Remember? Tien and Chaozu both trained by Master Tsuru. He trained them to be assasins, and at the beggining of the show they were the evil boys. But you're right on your storie too. I see, Chaozu's and Ten's personality changed quite enough: when they became good, and they started hanging out with Goku and the friends, their personality changed. Chaozu became more like the cute happy child, and Ten more extroverted, that's why I say that your characterisation in your story is actually right enough. And Chaozu is the only one to really reach his feelings.
Well... A good thing for TenChao stories is to a silencious, hidden, not visible way to show their feelings. Not that open, even if they are alone. Just a detail shown? Maybe in the narration you can tell what Tien feel inside, as thoughs. Your storie is really cuteness, but if you want to make it more canon-looking there is the suggestion I can give. And to make it less edulcorated too. (u) Because that's the only critism I can find to give you: too sugarly.
I SUCK at critizing a storie in english! It's the first time I do it in a foreigner language. Sorry a lot! n(_ _)n
I am talking to much? Sorry. I shouldn't consider myself an expert, throught I have quite studied them since I want to write about them too. But I really like your fanfics and you seem to be better than me actually. I'm going to add you to the autor list. ;) You seem to be one of (or the only one) of TenChao fans who write it. I really like them too and I will check your other fics as well probably. Our fandom need to grow(but not much... it's part of its charm *w* because if it does too much it will become boring, like VegexBulma).
Appart of the plot, your writting, narration, and grammar are perfect! A perfect balance with no annoying grammar errors, which is so pleasant to read. Maybe I would have liked to be a bit more poetic (metaphores and that), but i can't tell that cause I don't really know if you did or not. You can profit of the other elements: the landscape, etc. Describe it and profit of it for giving an admosphere as much as you can. They are on king-kai's little planet? There's beautiful, an interesting place. You should care of describing the other elements appart the two characters who speak.(through they aren't too many more... but still you can do it a bit '). Well you did at the beggining, but you should during the dialog. And a good thing to end now... you used many different words (not repetitions), which is pleasant. (ºuº)v
Do not bother to click on my profile; nothing yet. I am just fanart drawer for the moment (maybe known for liking them in the DB fandom? / but my draws suck T_T). And if I write my story will be in my language, I am very sorry! (but maybe i do a doujin in english once finished w don't know) Hey, and if you are really interested on them (Ten and Chaozu) do not doubt in contacting me. Hope my silly review helps you and don't doubt in answering! Greetings and good luck! (u