|Reviews for Innocent, Vigilant, Ordinary|
| Jullls chapter 35 . 10/11
I loved it! Continue, please, please, please
| Guest chapter 35 . 10/8
Great story. too bad it's not complete
| Debbie Hicks chapter 35 . 9/21
then ALIEN SNAKKES Mangllled one bloodiest bite then biutten blood feeding from people then then BBBitten Bree Tanner then then then my secret was out infectd with more than as all to best friends blood on my lips Falkor's red eyes then tto more made a Army fled in inhuman yiu there who turn you blod on your mouth pain ten three the brain sugergies then then te as all of it ATTTurned me a Supreme Vampire slaying Assassin brainwashed good mine then the LLLack of blood and skin wha-what yoou do to me oh god Welcome to the Army get her/tey gotcha we discovered yiu are chaged with murdr then FFFire kidnappppd then experimentred with thre good then too late Newspapers reported T'SAI ISABELLA MARIE SWAN JOINS THE PHOENIX COVEN See her missing picture wit Grown hair with Borg drone skin pure white like Locucus with them IIIIn Self replicated Bllack robes with Anime Falkor''s red eyes with Beetlejuice goth make up gasp who toook her with they then too late GGGGood brainwashed from the Brain surgeries without a appendix or eight then then you are too late mine bound then Brokken with they ten Lost humanity ten too late then nothingness sickest then then then it was Nothingness then woke alone with Anmesia with they Alice who did to you oh my god the bodysuit from NASA Fuserd ten spasmed who id\ youtr maker You miss both them then ten HHeads with theirs ATOMIZED But vaporiingig in flames EExecuted then then ten forbidden to live then Lost from here then burned took care of them grew too powerful good with they ended then too late Bring them then too late good guard they are Extinct then too late lost from here then with the witnesses then it came too late ASixteen killed good more guards to keep then it really happened Myself had No memories of my human life how and why I Gotten therte Alice who did to you Volturi tortured her/tey wit they the venom is stranded but trapped then in time was Immortal then was with long hair with bangs gasp hunted animals enrolled was not human then Smashed poisoned vanished then a Car began viciously screeching then KER-CRUNCHED! far way hardest too hardest Then found my singer Alice she was murdered oh my god say it one word Vampire she is what dead so us then Too late news of myself was not mortal so they then nuked ten both then gone then lost from here was not eating or sleeping from the bodysuit a brand new fro Ross Park Mall from PA gasp she is what stopped the car she is iciest cold but planetary hard as Steel then too late Sliced with them brought see dead they haunt the school in the doors of death good then too late killed us/they were in the GYM Then her powers activated from the Depths of The Neitherworld chanting more supreme and powerful: I Thou to be wary I Should in someplace scary I Turn Loose! GHOSTING HAUNTS! BEETLEJUICE
BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE! IT SHOWTIME! broken freely Lo and Behold him loud suit and sharp shoes hair skin rotting Alice screamed a GHOST! Fainted like a lady dainty but light oh him Good grief Then it came too late Commander yes we are What Guardian of Death oh my god Rose freaked out a GHOST! Then it was too late us/tey wre in fact Reccently Deceased with pets Sis Victoria a growled then too late urgh we been killed can you help us say his Name Beetlejuice Bettlejuice BEETLEJUICE! Then us/they wanted revenge onto them myself swore holiest vengeance was in fact a Supreme Vampire slaying Asassissin programed to slay then was glowing ten BETAZED ELEMENTAL POWER! MAKE-UP! MIRI ELEMENTAL POWER DELTA ELEMENTAL POWER DENEB ELEMENTAL POWER CESTUS POWR ANDORIA ELEMENTAL POWER KLING ELEMENTAL POWER BAJOR ELEMENTAL POWERR RIGEL ELEMENT POWER MINTAKA ELEMEMENENTAL POWER VENTAX ELEMENTAL POWER HELLGUARD ELEMENTAL POWER CAPELLA ELEMENTAL POWER! VENUS ELEMENTAL POWER MARS ELEMENTAL POWER JUPITER ELEMENTAL POWER MERCURY ELEMENTAL POWER NEPTUNE ELEMENTAL POWER URANUS ELEMENTAL POWER SATURN ELEMENTAL POWER PLUTO ELEMENTAL POWER MAKE-UP! Then suddenly with the Outer Beyonds then a alien votrex of galactic energy began burning then then a burst of pure lights wit both yelled then ourselves were from the 30th century Viciously by swinging our weaponry with hers then was in fact far too strong then was Us/they were in fact Sailor Guardians/Knights forged in battle and vengeance gasp they are Warriors then now awakened as fighters as well then too late never aged or died but wre in fact not from Earth from planets/galaxies sighten a huge scree show You'r Sushi held my ward of magic in front of my face who was chanting in a Japanese dialect was foreign hair flying with the Now officially freshly cut bangs Suddenly flickering then EVIL SPIRIT BE EXORICZED! I CALL THE POWERS OF BETAZED GREAT FIREBALLS CHARGE! began Flying then was now glowing yelling more stronger than before BETAZED HOWLING FIRE IGNITE! rolling out my planetary fiery anger and blaring more powerfully YOUMA TAISAN! Threw my ward burst into flames then feet/legs of Garrett good god Woman she is not human she is a priestess yes no way where in the blazes are we in Team it's Tokyo, Japan what you wish Crystal Tokyo to be born here it begins What?! oh no we been purged with as all of them are Immortal by the Silver Millennuim Imperial Crystal recalled from our past lives good lord Blimey power down we did in high school uniforms shoe slippers gulp Bree was really nervous of a new school year Ohayo students of Crossroads High School oh my god we are what exchange students in time us/they were not alive there.
| maembe13 chapter 1 . 5/23
This is far better than the original book...your writing is beautiful. I come back to this story again and again just to bask in your mastery of metaphors. your version of Bella is so much more captivating and layered and you create such profound moments out of things as simple as a pumpkin and a porch swing.. keep writing...even if you choose to leave this story as it is, keep writing. you truly have a gift.
| FelineNinjaGrace chapter 34 . 3/29
| FelineNinjaGrace chapter 33 . 3/29
Im glad that she apologized to Alice. I mean, that was necessary. But her constant griping about "He lied to me! He lied! I don't trust him, he lied!" Is making me mad again. SHE lies more than anyone in this whole story XD Hahaha! She lies to Charlie, she lies to Jacob, she lies to Edward, she lies to Alice, and most importantly she's ALWAYS lying to herself. Its downright hilarious. Do I seriously need to comb through every chapter and point out the times that she's lied? In fact she lies SO MUCH that she convinces herself that it's true sometimes. Only to eventually realize that it was a lie. Jeez la-weez!
| FelineNinjaGrace chapter 32 . 3/29
lol. Ok this chapter made me feel better. Sorry for spouting off all that stuff before. I'm glad that Bella is going back to normal. 3 I wish she could repair things with Jake though. But this chapter made me happier *sigh of relief* THANK you!
| FelineNinjaGrace chapter 30 . 3/29
Ok. I don't cuss. At all. Ever. Never. But this chapter? Is a very SHITTY chapter. There, I said it. Completely covered in crap. Smells and feels horrible. I've never hated Bella more than I did in this chapter. Why did she treat Alice like that? Alice, who has never done anything wrong to her. What you just wrote was the equivalent of Bella kicking Angela in the stomach. Or a puppy in the face. Why DOESN'T Bella trust Alice? She doesn't give any reason to NOT trust her. She's being just like Billy and the people she got upset about. When Alice asked her and she replied, "Absolutely not." I threw my hands up in the air and said "Alice. Just get out of there. Let her die from an infection. She's an a**hole. You really DON'T want people like her in your life, trust me. Go shopping with Rosalie or something and be your normally bubbly self. You never needed her to be happy. Let her live her depressing life."
Alice, who never got involved with her and Edward's relationship, Alice who comforted her after the break-up only to be un-friended, Alice who offered to change Bella's stupid bandages...and Bella acts like some superior "Your brother hurt my feelings, and now I'm going to make YOU feel bad for that. Go to hell Alice for your brother's sins!" idiot?
I mean, no offence, I've liked this story so far... but the number one rule of good story telling is: DON'T MAKE PEOPLE HATE THE PROTAGONIST.
Bella is the protagonist in the story. But you've changed it and made it so she's the Antagonist. She's against everyone and everything and I'm telling you that NO ONE feels sorry for her in the LEAST. We felt bad for her during the 3 months. But instead of growing from her struggles and becoming more mature and wise, she's become more blind, cruel, cold, and downright unlikable. Definitely a big no-no for a protagonist and certainly not for a romantic interest. Obviously no one is perfect. But when you start rooting for BOTH Jacob and Edward and start wishing they really WOULD move on and leave this b***** to wallow in her self-pity and lazy ways. Neither Jacob nor Edward deserve someone like Bella. She's not a GOOD person. Good people are kind, don't assume the worst about others, good people forgive. She keeps claiming that she's so much more mature than her schoolmates, but she really hasn't shown ANYTHING in this whole story about what makes her more mature. Disdain for others and a general anti-socialness doesn't makes someone mature. But maybe that's what you were getting at? Maybe NOW she's finally experiencing being a teenager? If so...that's actually pretty brilliant (even though its annoying).
Edward is good. He left because he really did care about her. His heart is good. But Bella is being mean BECAUSE she's changed into a mean person. Edward was just acting for BELLA'S sake. Bella's not acting.
Sure. She got her heart ripped out. That's tough. But at least the Bella in Stephanie Meyer's book didn't become a jerk to those around her. She didn't lash out at others for her pain. This just went to show that she was good, and that was why Edward loved her. That's why Jacob loved her.
I don't feel like I can connect with Bella in this chapter. For the past few chapters, actually.
If I was you, I would rewrite this chapter. Instead of Bella being: "No.", "Go away.", "Stay away from me.", "Stop it.", "I don't care.", "Now leave.", "Absolutely not.", "I don't.", "You've got to be kidding me.", "I know enough." and every other stupid negative garbage that Bella utters. 3
(Side note: Besides the BS with Bella, this story is absolutely incredible. In the beginning of the story I saw how much effort and research you went into making this! It's seriously one of my favorites on here. I hope that Bella goes back to being sweet and kind albeit wiser and mature.
| FelineNinjaGrace chapter 15 . 3/28
Basically Bella loves Jacob but shes not IN love with Jacob. But whos Jacob going to be with if not Renesme?
| FelineNinjaGrace chapter 14 . 3/28
LOVE this story. I havent written a review until now but Ive wanted to since the first day where Edward showed up. I think Ill go back and review every chapter seeing how you like it so much. You deserve it. 3
| RonjaRose chapter 34 . 3/26
Amazing story! I loved reading it :)
| Wellie-days chapter 35 . 3/6
What a brilliant story. I have recently re-read all the Twilight books and went searching for some FanFiction so I’m delighted I found your excellent fic! I sincerely hope you finish it some day as you can’t let all your hard work be incomplete. Well done
| Stephaniie49 chapter 36 . 12/17/2018
| Guest chapter 33 . 12/7/2018
I am absolutely loving this! I've got a million things to do but I can't stop reading! So nice to be back in the twilight world but not know exactly what's going to happen! The pace and writing style are wonderful! Thank you!
| Obsessedreader83 chapter 35 . 12/3/2018
Awesome story! I loved this version of Bellashe speaks her mind and has a smart mouth lol. It is sad that u didn’t continue but it also kinda ends nicely where it’s at, leaving the rest up to the imagination. Thanks for sharing!