|Reviews for Innocent, Vigilant, Ordinary|
| FelineNinjaGrace chapter 34 . 3/29/2019
| FelineNinjaGrace chapter 33 . 3/29/2019
Im glad that she apologized to Alice. I mean, that was necessary. But her constant griping about "He lied to me! He lied! I don't trust him, he lied!" Is making me mad again. SHE lies more than anyone in this whole story XD Hahaha! She lies to Charlie, she lies to Jacob, she lies to Edward, she lies to Alice, and most importantly she's ALWAYS lying to herself. Its downright hilarious. Do I seriously need to comb through every chapter and point out the times that she's lied? In fact she lies SO MUCH that she convinces herself that it's true sometimes. Only to eventually realize that it was a lie. Jeez la-weez!
| FelineNinjaGrace chapter 32 . 3/29/2019
lol. Ok this chapter made me feel better. Sorry for spouting off all that stuff before. I'm glad that Bella is going back to normal. 3 I wish she could repair things with Jake though. But this chapter made me happier *sigh of relief* THANK you!
| FelineNinjaGrace chapter 30 . 3/29/2019
Ok. I don't cuss. At all. Ever. Never. But this chapter? Is a very SHITTY chapter. There, I said it. Completely covered in crap. Smells and feels horrible. I've never hated Bella more than I did in this chapter. Why did she treat Alice like that? Alice, who has never done anything wrong to her. What you just wrote was the equivalent of Bella kicking Angela in the stomach. Or a puppy in the face. Why DOESN'T Bella trust Alice? She doesn't give any reason to NOT trust her. She's being just like Billy and the people she got upset about. When Alice asked her and she replied, "Absolutely not." I threw my hands up in the air and said "Alice. Just get out of there. Let her die from an infection. She's an a**hole. You really DON'T want people like her in your life, trust me. Go shopping with Rosalie or something and be your normally bubbly self. You never needed her to be happy. Let her live her depressing life."
Alice, who never got involved with her and Edward's relationship, Alice who comforted her after the break-up only to be un-friended, Alice who offered to change Bella's stupid bandages...and Bella acts like some superior "Your brother hurt my feelings, and now I'm going to make YOU feel bad for that. Go to hell Alice for your brother's sins!" idiot?
I mean, no offence, I've liked this story so far... but the number one rule of good story telling is: DON'T MAKE PEOPLE HATE THE PROTAGONIST.
Bella is the protagonist in the story. But you've changed it and made it so she's the Antagonist. She's against everyone and everything and I'm telling you that NO ONE feels sorry for her in the LEAST. We felt bad for her during the 3 months. But instead of growing from her struggles and becoming more mature and wise, she's become more blind, cruel, cold, and downright unlikable. Definitely a big no-no for a protagonist and certainly not for a romantic interest. Obviously no one is perfect. But when you start rooting for BOTH Jacob and Edward and start wishing they really WOULD move on and leave this b***** to wallow in her self-pity and lazy ways. Neither Jacob nor Edward deserve someone like Bella. She's not a GOOD person. Good people are kind, don't assume the worst about others, good people forgive. She keeps claiming that she's so much more mature than her schoolmates, but she really hasn't shown ANYTHING in this whole story about what makes her more mature. Disdain for others and a general anti-socialness doesn't makes someone mature. But maybe that's what you were getting at? Maybe NOW she's finally experiencing being a teenager? If so...that's actually pretty brilliant (even though its annoying).
Edward is good. He left because he really did care about her. His heart is good. But Bella is being mean BECAUSE she's changed into a mean person. Edward was just acting for BELLA'S sake. Bella's not acting.
Sure. She got her heart ripped out. That's tough. But at least the Bella in Stephanie Meyer's book didn't become a jerk to those around her. She didn't lash out at others for her pain. This just went to show that she was good, and that was why Edward loved her. That's why Jacob loved her.
I don't feel like I can connect with Bella in this chapter. For the past few chapters, actually.
If I was you, I would rewrite this chapter. Instead of Bella being: "No.", "Go away.", "Stay away from me.", "Stop it.", "I don't care.", "Now leave.", "Absolutely not.", "I don't.", "You've got to be kidding me.", "I know enough." and every other stupid negative garbage that Bella utters. 3
(Side note: Besides the BS with Bella, this story is absolutely incredible. In the beginning of the story I saw how much effort and research you went into making this! It's seriously one of my favorites on here. I hope that Bella goes back to being sweet and kind albeit wiser and mature.
| FelineNinjaGrace chapter 15 . 3/28/2019
Basically Bella loves Jacob but shes not IN love with Jacob. But whos Jacob going to be with if not Renesme?
| FelineNinjaGrace chapter 14 . 3/28/2019
LOVE this story. I havent written a review until now but Ive wanted to since the first day where Edward showed up. I think Ill go back and review every chapter seeing how you like it so much. You deserve it. 3
| RonjaRose chapter 34 . 3/26/2019
Amazing story! I loved reading it :)
| Wellie-days chapter 35 . 3/6/2019
What a brilliant story. I have recently re-read all the Twilight books and went searching for some FanFiction so I’m delighted I found your excellent fic! I sincerely hope you finish it some day as you can’t let all your hard work be incomplete. Well done
| Stephaniie49 chapter 36 . 12/17/2018
| Guest chapter 33 . 12/7/2018
I am absolutely loving this! I've got a million things to do but I can't stop reading! So nice to be back in the twilight world but not know exactly what's going to happen! The pace and writing style are wonderful! Thank you!
| Obsessedreader83 chapter 35 . 12/3/2018
Awesome story! I loved this version of Bellashe speaks her mind and has a smart mouth lol. It is sad that u didn’t continue but it also kinda ends nicely where it’s at, leaving the rest up to the imagination. Thanks for sharing!
| mdss13 chapter 18 . 10/26/2018
trolls, obese girls and back hair girls? seriously? so long for body positivity and to help each others
| MistressMermaid chapter 35 . 10/16/2018
I read this... and then realized it was on Hiatus. I am officially crying now! I got really into this story. Hasn't been updated in SO long! BOO! But also... yay? You're a really good writer. I highly enjoyed this Fan Fiction, so thank you.
| sarae32 chapter 35 . 9/27/2018
Great story and very detailed. It’s just a shame it’s not complete. Would have loved to see the ending
| Debbie Hicks chapter 35 . 7/26/2018
While then suddenly felt very diferen t ALIEEEN RSASTTLESNAKE VENOM Healed me theen blascking out you broke law that sc ar then a sudden force was growling then un der a full moon prepatring to phase on e second you die EXECUTED Then VEEEEENOMInto my heaerrttbeat then CHAN GED With bitten best frien ds this one a Lyc an to b e theen KILLED With them then the Setr found m y corpse was a Wolf's CARILISLE! Too late with them KILLED Then too k from us/them then then Blew frely then then was too late to save us then then PIERCED From here impaled then then suddenly too laate ATOMIZED Brought here they harbor a Laycassna
Child of the Moon Kingdom Werewolf both are Lyc an s then Execution then too late was deade by them then All of them are guilty then too late
MURDERED! but they were Skinned were as all of them killed but reported they hold her far too longer they are deadblew aspart bring them with as all of them then suddenly the Damages done to my heaslth then suddenly earned Pointed ears with Upswept eyebrows Alice's is not human at all Jaake yo infected her but transtioning her in to a Supernatural being with best friends that was it was Immortassl with my husband theen Alice she's not normal then myself had supersenses heighten sense of smell but enhanced superstrength and superspeed an d grace and beauty but a elegance So they were with as all then too late was no longer alive but Transformed then had a Migrane then Shielding Mentasl shield detected a plasnet power then my throasst burned was blood then so theirs they lost the color of their skin then then from the depths of my own mind Tel-Volice exploding Do you remember What I Taught you Imzadi c an you still sense my thoughts her mouth it's not Moving she's what Telepathic that was it first huin t theen as aall of most as aall of animals killed then too late dried up then Replaced with animal blood then were ass all of them PIERCED Freely tore from with implanted kids followed bring them then ATOMIZED! brought here then with the very remain s of as all killed into as biggest lab by now they reported dead at childbirth good bitten as all of themwith more then too late had eight were hybrids so they now too late saved from deasth then wasa Vegetarian so they then n ow too late myself was bitter then Nessie was in love with Jake was a halfling oh my god with the kids aged to adulthood you never age or die or haven't changed with them too late Asleep blew apart then With last ones then brought here found out had eight kids were immortal but too late bred in pon 'farr Jake proposed marriage then with them then had eight shocker then too late created a race then Jared went to the Gong suddenly we both yelled Kail'filee! Wore white so the best friends were Priestesses oh my god they had kids from that a very large Coven/pack unified was a alliance began a priesthood of Surak followed from the Kir'shara then too late was no longer humans were different SLICED From here popped brought here reported they are dead they will be killed sentenced to death by us officially then ATOMIZED! Ashes were as all of them then too late more as all of guards with our look/voices bitten freely that stopped procreation Seth went to the gong then This time Kail'fliee! from here fluently in the Vulcan language was Marriage or Challenge Challenged myself was a great-grandmother as the dawn of of our tomorrows for our days as it is today from the time of Awakening I Shall make my choice This One! pointed at my mate coldly without emotions embraced Kolinahr was a Acolyte of Mount Seleya located on Vulcan Sir! ashes were found but they are burnt to death but as all of Vampires born in Italy nuked of deadly blood is from Selene Captain she's wearing religious Vulcan jewelry head neck hands Oh my god she's what Vulcan as a priestess now too late the very as all of them reported she's with as all of with five on Vulcan both nuked with families as all of bring them now go then too late myself swore to their planetary gods/goddesses oh no he paled of Paul Lahote was my executor dressed in from Amok Time was a Trekker so Do I With Emmett were Trekkers with best friends were not alive gulp KROYKAH! Was Stop! or Enough! had religious Authority with ranks and titles Name Sch'n T'Gai T'Lar oh no she's a Vulcan woman Crap she is fluent in the Vulcan language oh my god she is very harsher icy cold good god man it's murderous that was it us/as all of them were exiled here waaah Atreyu he's hungry you delivered a baby learned from a webpage young lady did a deed me he's a toddler that was it aged to be 7 years of age had a tamed a Sehlat a real one oh no he's a man so the last kids.