|Reviews for Digimon Adventure: Dark Times Emerge|
| I.Rock.And.You.Know.It chapter 6 . 11/25/2011
Ok so one day I was looking around fanfic because I need something to do and found this story and fell in love because of how awesome it was. So you need to update it soon because you can't leave us hanging like this (us being me ,Tk ,Kari ,and your other readers( see what I did there...lol)). So this is a great story and I would love to know what is going to happen next so update soon.
HEART, . .
P.S I think this story is worth it.
| Tommy Gensou Suikoden chapter 1 . 8/16/2010
who I can to the digital monster?
| galung chapter 1 . 12/29/2009
saya senang digimon
| the21stMartian chapter 6 . 2/25/2009
oh, a cliffhanger, literally.
I look forward to the next installment whenever that may be. Until then...
| the21stMartian chapter 5 . 2/25/2009
oh the vagueness! oh the horror! oh! they forgot to pay their electric bill? Is that why the lair is so poorly lit?
I'm going to guess that the red hooded digimon is Daemon. I could be wrong, but that is my intuition from this chapter. As for the others, no clue.
So, wait, are these digimon after the crests? I thought the crests were destroyed and then used to release the Sovereigns.
Alright. I'll continue reading now.
| the21stMartian chapter 4 . 2/25/2009
Sounds to me like TK has "Harry Potter Syndrome"
symptoms may include:
1. frequent headaches
2. hearing things no one else can
3. speaking foreign languages without knowing it (alright TK didn't do that, but still)
4. finding yourself at the center of everyone's attention for something you have no idea about
I've been wondering if TK and Kari are considered generation 2 or 3, I think these past 2 chapters have answered that question.
I shall press on and finish reading the 2 latest chapters to get fully filled in.
Not bad so far
| the21stMartian chapter 3 . 2/25/2009
hm...I'd have thought that Kari would have learned her lesson about keeping these things inside, oh well, I guess old habits die hard. Nice references to both the past, and what will be in the future (as seen in the last episode of season 2). I'm really getting into this story
| the21stMartian chapter 2 . 2/25/2009
uh-oh! sounds like trouble's a brewing. Human paranoia can be deadly sometimes.
This chapter was a nice overview of the current situation and I look forward to reading more.
| the21stMartian chapter 1 . 2/25/2009
a good build up and summary of the first 2 seasons of digimon. I look forward to continuing to read this story
| ARCtheElite chapter 5 . 1/9/2009
Well then, time to be a jerk and be nit-picky about stuff!
1) I'm not sure about your reason for using "stongly bounded". Did you mean strongly bonded or bound, as in tied to the Dark Ocean, or bounded (surrounded) by the Dark Ocean?
2) So the hooded Digimon first found that he was alone, but then another Digimon was also there?
3) I'm not convinced about the effectiveness of the "drop the pin". The saying is normally used to talk about how quiet a place is, not how big.
4) The female digimon gathered some of the most frightened Mega levels? Did you mean frightening, or were they afraid of the female Digimon?
Anyway, that's enough of "perfectionist mode".
On to the next chapter!
| ARCtheElite chapter 3 . 1/6/2009
I have to be honest, this seems to be the best chapter out of the 3 I've read so far. It seems (to me anyway) that's it's a lot easier to focus on a single character than to tell a narrative from bird's-eye view.
You still have a bit of awkward stuff, but it's nothing terribly major. I'm not sure if I said this in my last review (I have a horrible memory sometimes) but you do a better job in terms of descriptions than many other stories out there.
I just want to caution you on using "etc." in stories. It's not exactly the most professional of things to use when you (the writer) is telling something, and it destroys any mood that you worked so hard to evoke.
| ARCtheElite chapter 1 . 1/6/2009
Well then, let's get started.
First of all, I never expected anyone to PM me with stories they want me to read. I'm surprised anyone goes onto my profile at all. Nevertheless, thank you. I'm only at the first chapter, but this looks promising.
It's probably a little late to do anything about the first chapter, but here are some thoughts:
I'm reading some of the other reviews of chapter 1. I tend to remember more of what I read/watch, so I didn't find the recap too informative. But since other people seem to agree that it was necessary, I have nothing to say. However, I do believe that you could have expanded on the "new prophecy" a little more. Not enough to spoil the suspense, but maybe just enough to build it even more.
I want to ask: Who is telling this story? For example, if Azulongmon was telling this story, it would sound much different than if Tai was. And right now, I would say that it sounds more like Tai than Azulongmon - which is fine, if that is your intent. But my personal style leads me to using a more "formal" or "poetic" style, kind of like a bard.
Finally, I'm going to agree with the self-proclaimed "Perfectionist" reviewer (though I noticed that you left some "I's" uncapitalized, if you're reading this :D) that there are some mechanical errors here. Mostly they have to do with awkward sentences. A lot of that can be solved by putting commas and periods in some places and taking them out in others. I would recommend a beta (not trying to sell myself or anything, just saying :D)
I'm off to read more chapters, then. Cya!
| TwilightForever93 chapter 6 . 1/5/2009
| Dawn chapter 6 . 12/31/2008
Good chapter! There were a few run-on sentences, and the plural of 'digimon' is actually 'digimon' (there is no change) but overall, very good! HAPPY NEW YEAR!
| DOTMW chapter 6 . 12/23/2008
Hey,just getting back to you on the story...after the first few chapters I'm getting a pretty good feel for what you're trying to say.
First, you have a good concept laid out. You seem to know where you're going and how you need to get there. Looming threat on the horizon always adds a sense of urgency and now you've actively put one of the main characters in danger. In terms of substance, you're off to a good start.
You have a "telling" style of writing indicative of fledgling authors; what I mean by this is that you very clearly spellout exactly what's going on
For example, In the last paragraph of your latest chapter;
"Everybody except Kari went inside. She wanted to see the eclipse till it was gone. Suddenly a gigantic earthquake came causing havoc to the entire city. The ground was shaking tremendously. It was definitely not a normal earthquake. If the shaking was measured on the Richter magnitude scale, it would be over 10 or more."
Maybe this is just a personal choice, but I like to be "shown"
If I were to write the same paragraph, I would probably say...
"Kari was vaguely aware of her friends leaving her but the eclipse had almost...hypnotized her. It was so breathtakingly beautiful that she found herself drawn to it,unable to look away.
TK lingered behind the others, waiting to see if Kari was coming in and contemplating whether or not to join her when suddenly...
A low rumbling filled the air and the apartment began to tremble violently. TK's legs buckled underneath him and garbled cries of his friends pierced the roar that surrounded them. In the chaos that ensued,only one thought rang through the din
A strangled cry seemed to block out everything else as TK tore across the shaking floor trying to reach Kari. She turned and for a brief instant their eyes met.
Then she was gone.
"KARI!" With more speed than he had ever shown in his life, TK tore across the floor, grabbing Kari's hand as the balcony fell away."
Notice how I didn't include all that info about the earthquake? That's because no one in this scene has a Richter scale. Also would TK or Kari know about the passengers in the subway?
When you write, you should focus on the characters in the scene. We're seeing the world through their eyes and anything they don't know about, we shouldn't either.
I know it can be tempting to add detail to hit a point home, but there are other ways to do that. For example, you could include the Subway and bridge info in a news report in the background of the next scene.
You're doing fine. Style is something won through experience and my advice is the opinion of one author. I'll keep an eye on the rest of this story to see how you develop