|Reviews for Total Eclipse of the Heart|
| bethabetha chapter 2 . 12/7/2017
i got about halfway through chapter 2 before i just couldn’t read anymore. the writing for EPOV is too stilted and formal to mesh well with Bella’s, and it throws me right out of the story.
| debslmac chapter 22 . 10/14/2017
:) loved this story
| JayNahNah chapter 22 . 9/15/2017
Read this on a recommendation & while parts were entertaining, the lack of continuity was annoying. For example, if Bella was living in a flat & the initial references were her walking down a hall to her bedroom, why were there suddenly stairs when they had their 1st formal outing?
Who stabbed Edward? One would assume Michael but no mention. What happened to Lauren & Mike?
Like I said, parts were entertaining & I appreciate the effort but it felt choppy & forced. Felt characters were added just because. Flying from California to Hawaii is approximately 5 hours & depending on the time of the year, a 2-3 time change with Hawaii being behind.
| Ashlie Christine chapter 4 . 7/21/2017
This story had great potential. But it just didnt flow well for me. I mean they just met a wk or so prior and they already are hooking up? No hate, just not my kind of story. I enjoyed it up untill here.
| Boobert chapter 3 . 7/21/2017
This story is just too mushy, too fast. It's annoying and uncomfortable...and why would Edward scold Libby bc of her tongue? That's so incredibly stupid. Between the forced longing and sensitive inner dialogue, I'm not sure I can continue.
| charbronte chapter 9 . 7/2/2017
Loving it so far!
| Guest chapter 13 . 3/26/2017
Edward hurt her and she is tring now to protect everyone
| Guest chapter 12 . 3/26/2017
Anyone figuring out what she is thinking. She believe Libby and emmett being hurt is her fault
| Guest chapter 9 . 3/26/2017
Not to be rude but there are two little mistakes and I quote "Heather's fingers stroked my husband's jaw" this was in EPov and it says softly signing when I am amusing it should say singing
| Guest chapter 3 . 3/26/2017
Bella thinks she not beautiful. Edward thinks he not good enough
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/26/2017
How does jasper know edward?
| peacelovebre chapter 22 . 3/16/2017
| twimima7 chapter 1 . 1/20/2017
Hey, good story going and can't wait to read on.
| petmom1213 chapter 22 . 12/4/2016
Very good. Thank you both!
| petmom1213 chapter 20 . 12/4/2016
Jacob is yuck. I do not like him. He is a master manipulator.