|Reviews for Total Eclipse of the Heart|
| abbie.loves.twilight chapter 22 . 5/30/2010
| abbie.loves.twilight chapter 1 . 5/29/2010
Wow. I love it so far. I can see the difference in writing style between the povs but it is great because it shows it through a real guy's eyes. If that makes sense...
When Bella gets the letter I think she should have thought about it more than she did instead of agreeing immediately. But I guess that applies more if she will have a stubborn side because then I think she would have thought of it more.
Great on the whold. Perfect starting block
| Team Switzerland 703 chapter 22 . 5/26/2010
AWWWWWWWWW... great story. i loved it. im sad its finished, but now im gonna read arogance. but not tonight, cos youve already kept me up too late and im not gonna be able to get up early in the morning for school
:( lol. haha best acceptence speach ever :):):)
please please please keep writing lots of storys, and update ymmdct soon. lol. xxxxxx
| Team Switzerland 703 chapter 21 . 5/26/2010
OMG THAT WAS TOO MUCH DRAMA! lol. i love this story! ts so good!
I knew it would be Mike! haha I was right ;)
but i thought it would be carmen, not lauren :( ah well
haha my names lauren and its kinda annoying cos in all the stories laurens an evil bitch ;)
| Team Switzerland 703 chapter 20 . 5/26/2010
omg i was so embarrased for bella when she said edward. LOL
aaaaawwww poor libby :(
shell be ok i think though... hopfully? x
| Team Switzerland 713 chapter 16 . 5/26/2010
yay things are finally getting back on track. i must say i got slightly depressed when edward was acting like a dick in hawaii. lol ;)
| Team Swizerland 713 chapter 15 . 5/26/2010
hahahahahaha i went to youtube and looked at the trailer for gingerdead man, and it looks like the stupidest movie ever. :D
| Team Switzerland 703 chapter 7 . 5/20/2010
We stood at the bar, sipping our drinks as songs came and went. Disturbia, Pour Some Sugar on Me, Sexy Back.
haha pour some sugar on me :) i love it
i love this story, and i love the way bellas still the same even though shes famous, how shes all modest and stuff :)
keep up the excellent work. xxxx
| Team Switzerland 703 chapter 5 . 5/20/2010
with the peom thingo, at first i thought bellas stalker was deaf because it says 'although i cant here', hahaha :)
but i think i worked out the answer: a shadow?
| Team Switzerland 703 chapter 5 . 5/20/2010
haha i love all your little side notes and a/ns :) there so entertaining to read.
arent you lucky having a husband that loves twilight as much as you ;)
this is the first time ive seen a husband and wife writing atwilight fanfic together.
anyways love the story :) xx
p.s: please update YMMDCT soon :)
| Team Switzerland 703 chapter 4 . 5/19/2010
haha i knew your story wouldnt stay innocent fr long ;)
omg carmen is such a bitch! who doesnt want to hold there new born baby! i thought the mum would be tanya, haha
anyways i love this story so far. xxxx
| Kabbima chapter 22 . 5/17/2010
Great story! I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing it with us!
| Poppyseed43 chapter 11 . 5/12/2010
I thought that Edwards reaction to Bella falling and some stranger picking up her purse contents as not how a bodyguard would react to this situation. Love Libby,don't want any other baby, just want Libby. You've made her a very lovable child. Also love Edward's character, how could anyone resist him.
| Poppyseed43 chapter 8 . 5/11/2010
Yes, I think that Carlisle diffently overeacted, taking Edward's age into consideration. He should have said something, but it sounded like he was talking to young teenager, instead of an adult. Now I'm hoping that Bella doesn't overeact too. Otherwise the story is great.
| NewAgeWriter chapter 21 . 5/11/2010
Im slightly disappointed in this chapter, Edward should of shot Mike, at least cause him a little bit of pain for what he's put them through.
Also, Edward wouldn't off been allowed to go on that operation since a family member of his was involved. Again, Bella wouldn't off been left like that, and the SWAT operation didn't really flow quiet well.
When Edward entered, Mike was holding his daughter, he held no weapon, Edward would of easily dispatched him. And the way it was written, Liam said that 'we'll get her back,' it makes it sound like SWAT's plan was for them to leave a women up there alone with the hostage takers and then go in there again a few minutes later. Then you have Jacob and Edward go alone together without any other trained members of SWAT.
When the lights are gone and Edward goes in for the final time to rescue Bella, and see's the shot to take Mike out, he doesn't take it because of Bella's look on her face, there are no-kill shots which SWAT members are trained for and then Edward goes to choke him out, a move that is used to disable the hostile, and Edward stops because BELLA again tells him to. Mike passes out
Jacob takes care of Lauren and Edward takes off his vest even though Bella had one when she was left which she would know where it was. Anyway he takes time to take if off and put it on her even though it would of been quicker and safer to take her outside to the hallway and put it on her. As soon as he does that he gets shot by Mike I suppose even though he was choked out a minutes ago.
This chapter really strains against the real world, I've been enjoying the story so far but I felt the need to review on this chapter. Liam comes out of nowhere to tackle Mike and then the door bursts open and a SWAT team enter, how the heck did they get up so quick if there was no power until it was turned on when Edward gets shot and the elevator was left on the floor they're on.
Edward gets shot on his own fault because he was emotionally involved in the situation which is why he shouldn't of been in the operation altogether.
Another thing, previous chapter, Bella and Jacob practically fucked each other on camera, and the film is PG-13? I just feel that that is wrong, Jacob blows his load over Bella and Edwards fine with it? Hell no he shouldn't neither should Bella, I would be upset about that. I don't care if my girlfriend screamed out my name while rubbing herself all over some guy, she's still rubbing herself up against another guy.
Would it be OK for me to get naked and practicably jack off over one of my female friends that I'm close to? No, it wouldn't. That's how I'm seeing that scene. It's unnecessary.
I've written quite a lot, and mostly its me complaining but I don't want to leave it on a bad note. I really enjoy this story, my favourite character is Libby (I wouldn't mind having her as a daughter), I was hooked on it when I read the summery. I'm gonna go and finish the story off now.