|Reviews for Too Much|
| Mr. Onigiri chapter 1 . 10/18/2012
This was pretty amazing :) I hope you write more of these.
| KILLERmiles chapter 1 . 8/5/2008
WOW THAT WAS DEEP...IT MAKES SUCH A WEIRD TRUTH BEHOLD IN THE READER
| Cicada Noise chapter 1 . 7/20/2008
While your writing is, overall, fairly good, you might want to consider addressing the psychology here in a longer story, because it simply isn't explained well enough in this one-shot, and it reads as very OOC.
First, I do think that violent, brutal sex would be appropriate for these characters - that's not what I'm faulting you for. They're very psychologically damaged individuals who aren't bound by the morals of most human society. The thing that I find completely inappropriate here is that you've written Loz off when he is, canonically, the physical aspect of the trio, and therefor probably the most likely to want sexual contact. More importantly, by their very nature the Shinentai do things together - why in the world would Loz, the most emotionally dependent of the boys, willingly shut himself out of ANY form of intimacy between his brothers?
There are many ways to interpret the little bit of canon material surrounding Loz, Yazoo, and Kadaj, but I don't think that this one is particularly well thought out. I can't see any canon basis for your supposition that they would try to deny or restrain their emotions with each other, nor any justification for the idea that feeling or expressing love for each other would run contrary to their goal.
| disappointed chapter 1 . 7/20/2008
Your writing is generally quite good, but I don't believe that your characterization is in keeping with that displayed in the movie or as suggested by various canon sources. Yeah, it's a pretty pairing, but these characters are three aspects of Sephiroth's psyche and as such are not exactly capable of being in dischord or having one of their number removed from the picture. At no point does any canon material express that they are ever in conflict with each other or with Jenova - the closest they come is Kadaj's jealousy of Sephiroth and fear that he is not enough to be her chosen.
These characters' driving emotions are particularly important in their definition, and Kadaj never failed to display them in the movie. At no point do they give any indication that they do not love their Mother in particular or that they seek to deny themselves emotions - in fact, they express their emotions more easily than many other characters, with childlike lack of restraint. (Hence the title "Advent Children".)
The concept you seek to express could perhaps be stated better in a longer piece, and might not sound so OOC with more exploration and work.
| Aeriths-Rain chapter 1 . 7/19/2008
...wow... the ending was amazing,
| tenchi chapter 1 . 7/19/2008
Characterization was brilliant as usual.