|Reviews for Paybacks are a Witch|
| Kalen Darkmoon chapter 1 . 7/23/2008
Great writing. Added this to my favorites. This is FAR better and certainly far more believable of the personalities and human nature of the characters presented than JKR's farcical epilogue. You can read my thoughts on the HxG and RxHr pairings in my profile if interested. It appears they are similar to your own.
Don't even get me started on Dumbledore whom I thought to be a far greater and more terrible Dark Lord than Voldemort was. I will only point out what I saw as perhaps the biggest and most critical difference between Voldemort and Dumbledore and why the latter was worse. Voldemort offered his followers a choice to join him (even if the choice was join or die, they still had a choice) whilst Dumbledore ENSLAVED Harry into being his follower. Harry's orchestrated childhood of suffering and abuse along with careful manipulation into suicide by Dumbledore for his cause showed just how vile and evil any self-righteous person with power can truly sink to in order to ensure THEIR way for the world. Power corrupts and Dumbledore was every bit as equal of a poster example as Voldemort.
"Good intentions" can never justify vile and evil acts because it is our actions that define us, not our intentions. The actions we take to reach our goals and bring about our intentions affect the value of those intentions fully. Dumbledore himself hypocritically preached that as the reason for his own inaction is using his power to stop the Death Eaters permanently. The irony was that he was completely blind to the evils he was inflicting on innocent children in order to spare the demons from punishment for their own horrible crimes. Dumbledore sacrificed children to avoid punishing monsters himself and in doing so became a monster.
| lycus chapter 1 . 7/22/2008
That was heartbreaking, Harry and Hermione is my favourite couple but yes JKR did make her incredabily stupid in that last book. And that Ron/Malfoy comparison was brilliant and absolutely true. And dumbledore seperating Harry and Hermione, Seems true especally since if Harry was around Hermione too much he would pick up her habits and start to question dumbledores'motovations. And his excuse of not making Harry a prefect was stupid you have enough things to deal with but if I put the weight of the world on your shoulders you'll be fine.
| Xadro chapter 1 . 7/22/2008
I love this one-shot, its exactly like it should have been done, this makes more sense than the epilogue of JKR good job!
| Howard Russell chapter 1 . 7/21/2008
Spot on, really. Justice makes for a more satisfying revenge sometimes.
The entire concept of Ron/Hermione is tragically flawed for the reasons you showed. Hermione has only two options when paired with Ron: become a shrewish nag in order to force the lazy git to ever do anything with his life-which he will resent for his entire life-or become Mrs. Weasley, Mk II-which he will probably resent almost as much.
I like Harry/Luna almost as much as Harry/Hermione. Luna's a fun girl who needs someone like Harry.
| Vukk chapter 1 . 7/21/2008
I think I read one other story similar to this. I liked both it and your story as they had a somewhat realistic ending, unlike JKR's.
| Alorkin chapter 1 . 7/21/2008
To start out with, I believe both Half-Assed Plot and Deadly Horrible were the worst pieces of literary crap I have ever read. I have both, but only for reference. The plot was screwed, and the story badly written. My thirteen year old could do better, and she thinks a thousand word essay is hard.
It's funny. I'm a 'deluded' H/Hr shipper, but Harry/Luna is a close second.
Now on to the story.
Being a H/Hr shipper, I have to feel for Hermione. 'Seeing' her with Ron makes me gag. Your explanation does make a certain sense, however. The old adage applies. be careful what you wish for...you might just get it."
I can easily see Ron deciding to take the easy way out and never take his NEWT's, relying instead, on a minimum wage job. The wizarding world is still the bigoted place it has always been. None of them were willing to lift a finger to protect themselves, and yet they condemn Ron and Hermione for their own cowardice.
I can also see how Ron, someone with a insane jealousy of pretty much anyone better than he was, might using the rather provincial pureblood laws, 'discourage', or even forbid Hermione from taking her NEWTs. Hey! He did it to prevent her from retrieving her parents. Moreover without those NEWt's she has no worth in the wizarding world, other than brood mare.
I wonder if Hermione's attraction to Ron was potions-fuelled.
Luna and Harry are a nice twist. I can easily see them together. She is the 'earth mother' he needs, but that's not the only reason. They 'fit' together, almost as well, in my opinion, as Harry and Hermione.
Ginny's attraction to freelance pharmaceuticals is a major sticking point with me. Anyone who has to rely on drugs to trap a mate, is not really worth having. If Rowling had developed the character of Ginny Weasley when she should have, like a few really good FF authors have, she might well have been a legitimate mate for Harry without resorting to mind altering drugs. As is, she was, is and always will be a fan-girl.
Eve in spite of Ron's potential interference in raising the children, I'm certain Molly would lend a hand. She raised her own brood well enough, with a variety of characters. Of them, all but the last two turned out polite and giving...even Percy, in his own way.
Suicide is somewhat out of Hermione's character, if only for her love of her children and her concern for their continued welfare. She may dislike her situation, but she would still love her kids. Ron wouldn't be able to care for the and while Molly and Arthur would try, they wouldn't have the funds either. I suppose the rest of the Weasley's could pitch in, but Bill and Fleur have a family of their own, Charlie annd George may also have families and Ginny is working on Wilshire and Vine.
A/N: 1: A really good first angst fic. Harry tore himself apart when Cedric died, but for some gawdawful reason, he seemed to have blown Sirius off completely. I agree with you, on the survivor's guilt. I have been a police officer and a soldier. I have lost buddies in combat, and still feel guilty for being alive when they aren't.
2: I agree totally. Ron is a bigoted as Draco. The only difference is the gold. I also agree with your assessment of jealousy. Harry would have to conceal any issues of envy, because he has been trained from the first that he was unworthy of attention.
3: Not only the separation issue, but almost every aspect of Harry's life. Dumbledore sacrificed his parent's lives, and he fully intended to sacrifice Harry's as well, in order to defeat Voldemort at any cost...even if the cost was every witch and wizard who looked to him. It was only chance he was cursed by the ring before he could put his plan into effect.
4: As I indicated, Luna is one of my favorite characters. One can write her in almost any fashion and still have her in character. Sometimes I wonder if Dumbledore is a Catholic, (Having absolutely nothing against ANY faith!) in his willingness to sacrifice innocents. He ~appears~ to believe that sinners must be redeemed and any innocent casualties will go to heaven, being innocent. Does that make sense?
All together, a wonderful, angsty and well presented story.
| Anime Princess chapter 1 . 7/21/2008
I agree with you on ALL your points in this story! This was extremely well written, and I LOVE it lots! Hermione lost it all for a shag...too bad! POST MORE STORIES ASAP!
| Yunaine chapter 1 . 7/21/2008
I absolutely loved the Luna as portrayed in this one shot. Harry is very realistic since going through a battle without aftermath would be stupid.
Hermione/Ron & Ginny after the curse were just icing on the cake.
Keep up the good work and have fun writing :).
| Innortal chapter 1 . 7/21/2008
Excellent work and great reasoning.
| luckykas chapter 1 . 7/21/2008
| Cateagle chapter 1 . 7/21/2008
*wince* Hermione earned that one the hard way. I agree with you about Ron & Draco being much alike and about Dumbles' deliberately isolating Harry from Hermione, both to keep Harry ignorant and because, in my opinion, he'd fixiated on Ginny being the next Lily (or it could simply have been his own pureblood predjudices that wanted to focus Harry on Ginny rather than Hermione, who ws much better suited to him). In the end, they made their choices and reaped their consequences for good and for bad.
| jabarber69 chapter 1 . 7/21/2008
Hey now I really like hp/hg ships and love reading stories like your other two about them, and to be honest 5 years ago when I started reading hp fanfiction I liked hp/gin and ron/hg ships, but after 2 yrs changed to hp/hg. I of course also like hp/harem stories.
Now as to your story here: I thought it was a well thought out and extremely interesting as well as well written story! I too have evovled into thinking that ron cant be trusted, he is the male version of a fangirl and only hangs around harry for his fame. also he is keeping him dumbdowned either by dumby orders or his own lazy arse reasons probalby jealosy or more than likely just being a lazy arse.
After much thought how can someone as brilliant as hermione put up with ron's attitude toward her. it is plainly obvious that the only reason she is friends with ron is because of harry. I dont know about you but I sure as wouldnt want to be around someone much less date them that always was putting me down or using me. anyway hp/hg go together like peas and carrots their both from the same world muggle and can live in either world. Personally if I was harry or a wizard I would learn magic of course but I would also keep up during the summers go to muggle hi school summer school or something equialvant and then after I graduated hogwarts, and a muggle university I would live in the muggle world but still use magic. magic sure beats cleaning your house or apt the muggle way or apparating sure beats getting stuck on the highway in your car during traffic jams.
One last thing you pegged luna pretty well in my opinion she just acts loony on purpose to keep people away or maybe she is clairyvoyant but anyway either way is no reason to hide her clothes and personal items. I caught someone messing with my shit at college once and I beat the living hell out of them, the only thing that happen was they were kicked out of college, nothing happen to me except I had some sore knuckles for awhile. of cousre I had to pay for the wooden chair in my room that I purposely broke to get a chair leg to use as a club!
| witowsmp chapter 1 . 7/21/2008
I'm not really an angst fan, but you made several good points in it, and that's truly what Hermione's life would be as Mrs. Weasley.
| Fibinaci chapter 1 . 7/21/2008
Wow, I know technically its not ironic or karma, but she gets caught by the one book she didnt read. Its kinda effed up though, because you know those kids would have to turn to "Uncle Harry" after she kills herself, as their Dad was worthless. So Hermione's selfishness kinda jobbed Harry twice.
I'm glad this story had Luna, who I was sure was the best girl for Harry after OotP, there for him in the aftermath. Harry's jealousy was one of the reasons I was yelling "Potion!" as I read HBP. Other than the potion I was sure she was dosing him with, I didnt have anything against Ginny. I just thought they wanted two very different sorts of lives. And given her statements that Harry wouldnt be happy if he wasnt fighting Voldemort I knew she still hero worshipped him and didnt really know "Harry" as all he wanted was a quiet normal life.
| riegert8 chapter 1 . 7/21/2008
It interesting story, it must be a shock to Hermione that she may really bad choice and pay for it. It must a bigger shock to find out that Luna cursed Ginny, Ron and herself, Hermione has only herself to blame for what happen. I am surprise that Hermione would killed herself for the only fact that she has pregnant and also has kids, but if all her kids are like Ron then it make sense for that reason. It funny that you compare Ron to Draco but make sense at the same time, Draco & Ron are cousins and they could both call Headmaster Phineas Nigelius (Black ) their Great Great Grandfather but this fact tied into Pure blood inbreeding. I also find it funny that Harry is distant cousin to the Weasley family and Voldemort, but Harry is blood related to either what can I say I was bored yesterday and look up Potters,Weasley's and Black's family tree. I admit I am not big on Hermione Ginny or Ron bashing but knew it was going to happen before J.K release the last book, Ginny is simple she end up with Harry and people can't bash the author so hate Ginny is more easy. Ron is easy target for that people don't want Ron to change and they only could see his bad side the his good, Hermione is book smart but has trouble when she have to think for herself.