|Reviews for High School Nightmare|
| ADayWithNoLaughterIsADayWasted chapter 19 . 1/23
This is great. A little repetitive, but I still like it. Update soon.(:
| pumpkinking5 chapter 19 . 8/3/2013
Thanks for writing such an incredible story.
I adored how you put drama, romance and suspense into your storyline and characters.
Troy and Ryan survived their horrendous ordeal. It was close call for the both of them.
I was curious if you were going to finish the story. I am glad that you posted this chapter and
the boys were ok. I don't think I could have handle this chapter not being posted. The suspense would
have been terrible waiting!
Curious, are you going to finish it? It would be a shame if you didn't. Thanks again for writing
such a wonderful story.
| Guest chapter 19 . 7/2/2013
This was such a great story! Adios amiga!
| Laa123 chapter 19 . 7/2/2012
| Parodoxical Shift chapter 1 . 11/10/2010
...sorry. I couldn't leave it at my previous crappy review.
Because I don't want to leave it at that, I'll try and turn it into constructive criticism instead of just criticism. Try to remember that I'm actually trying to help this time. I'm a little blunt when I edit. I apologize beforehand.
1) ...I'm not quite sure what point I was trying to make here. Scratch that one.
2) When you write, you change both tenses and point of view. I'll copy your first paragraph down to give you an example, and add footnotes in. There's other problems, but I'll just focus on the points in the review I gave more than a year previously.
"Jack held Troy tighter to him as he looked over at Logan, who has (You've used past tense (held, looked) so "had" would be the better choice here) the gun pointed right at him, Troy, and Gabriella. He noticed Gabriella step in front of him and Troy, protectively but turned his attention to Logan instead. He gave Logan the meanest look he could manage as he held his injured son tighter to him. There's (Here's another jump to present tense. "There would have been" might fit better) no way he's (again, "he would") going to (omit "going to") let this freak do whatever it is (was) he has (had) planned for Troy."
3) Point of favoring. My bad.
4) Again, point of favoring.
5) Again, point of favoring.
I know this story is on hiatus right now. I don't expect a reply or anything, really. I just wanted a chance to redeem my previous review.
And I apologize if I seared your eyes out from my chatspeak in my first couple of reviews.
| kaybaby1127 chapter 19 . 9/16/2010
| kaybaby1127 chapter 1 . 9/16/2010
| bubzchoc chapter 19 . 9/3/2010
hope u carry on
| MaxRideRox chapter 1 . 9/7/2009
This sounds really good...make it into a movie! :P A movie with a video camera..get a whole bunch of your friends and do them as the gang! Uh...Id totally watch that! xD It actually sounds like a reall movie trailer 'From the mind that brought you The Road'..Amazing..OK, Ima go read the rest now!
| thisisreallife chapter 20 . 8/19/2009
Wait. Why would he need surgery? I get the "removing the bullet" thing. Unless the bullet shattered the femur through entrance, they'd only need to remove the bullet. Was there an exit wound? Because if it didn't hit the bone, it probably had enough inertia to cut right through the leg, so they wouldn't need surgery anyways. He'll probably need blood transfusions, if he was spouting out blood, which seems to be the concept you're trying to do (as you said.) But blood transfusions aren't done through surgery. If you need a transfusion, you will get the blood cells through tubing connected to a needle in your vein. You will most likely get the transfusion in a hospital or an outpatient clinic. A transfusion takes about two to three hours for each unit of blood cells. Therefore, he wouldn't be in surgery, unless the bullet had shattered random bones in his leg, which you didn't specify happened (yet). Also, the doctor/nurse/surgeon/whatever would have said that his bone had been damaged. Lastly, you don't only need to be a specific blood type. For example: O negative is the universal donor; anyone can get O negative blood type, while O negative people can only have O negative blood. AB positive, on the other hand, can receive any kind of blood, but can only give to other AB positive people. O negative is a very common blood type; other people have donated there blood usually, so they wouldn't have to randomly grab other people. I don't know, you might be mixing blood type up with bone marrow donors; those have to be a lot more precise, which is why they'd usually pick family members.
Seeing blue and double vision are signs of other illnesses. Usually drugs won't cause the patient to do both those sympyoms at the same time.
Other than that, enjoyable story. Sketchy grammar and first person/third person issues, but pretty good besides that. Glad that they made it out okay. Just one question: What was the Camp Rock added in for? Good job.
| sktwirler chapter 20 . 8/13/2009
I like the humor at the end of the chapter. Good job, keep up the good work. Can't wait until the next chapter.
| Acting-Singing-Bella chapter 20 . 8/9/2009
Aw good chapter Erin and Sam!
Love it so!
| IHeartLogiebear chapter 20 . 8/2/2009
I hope that Troy and Ryan are going to be okay!
| OnceAWildcatAlwaysAWildcat chapter 20 . 7/30/2009
Loved it! Update.
| Bella chapter 20 . 7/30/2009
Oh, thank god Troy is going to be fine. I was so worried about him. I'm so happy he's going to live. That just made my day. I can't wait to read more. Keep up the good work.