|Reviews for If the Fates Allow|
| jesttalyahoo.com chapter 1 . 7/24/2008
It was great to check in and see this story sitting here.
I've only seen about four episodes of the series so I am working off of partial facts.
Even so, you painted a very thorough picture. I find myself wondering if the scenes that I now wish very badly to see will live up to what my imagination has made of them from the cues given by /your/ imagination ;)
You have a very nice sense of pacing in this piece. Information isn't given in a rush at the beginning or held out. Thoughts, action, information are all woven together to keep a primarily introspective piece interesting and moving.
I also have a bit of a prejudice. I don't like Erin that much, I fear. I can accept her as a character, but I definitely am not a fan of any reciprocated vibes between her and Markus. I think that a very easy trap would have been to have hugs and excessive sentimentailty (no spell check here - sorry ;) ) for her comforting him. You avoided that, but did keep the very present and (I believe) canon sense that she has strong feelings for him. And he knows it.
I guess, in other words? At the points in the story where the reader would have wanted to hug/touch comfort Markus, you had him standing alone. You didn't vicariously give him something that he shouldn't have had as the lone-leader character he is. You did give him some closure and peace at the end with a small gesture, but he had already worked things out in his own mind, in a way, before he took it.
Anyway! Great piece. I'll keep checking for more!
Thanks for writing