|Reviews for Epilogue: Another Wedding|
| gossip-bangkok chapter 1 . 7/31/2009
thank you soo much
| Bella503 chapter 1 . 4/3/2009
i love this!
| skaia7 chapter 1 . 1/4/2009
This is great. I've only read the first 2 books but I've already looked online for how Meyer ends the story. I haven't read it yet, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to like your version better. :) Thanks for sharing!
| writingangel101 chapter 1 . 11/15/2008
Ohh, that is really good!
Can I add your story as a nominee for my site? Well, mine and my friends, but still.
It is a site for good fanfiction, and I would like to have your nominated!
Let me know. The site is my homepage, so please check it out, and maybe become a member?
Please and thanks! LOved the story.
| lauren chapter 1 . 7/31/2008
I followed your link from amazon and I really like it but IMO Alice is just slightly out of character. You put her accross as being quite snappish in places and most people see her as a more cheerful character. But then thats just my opinion.
Your grammar needs checking in places but other than that I wouls say you have a good chance of winning that contest.
| readinangel chapter 1 . 7/22/2008
Aww, that was very sweet, you did a good job!
| Matelia-legwll chapter 1 . 7/21/2008
Aww, cute ending. I rather like the idea of reminiscing while getting ready for another wedding. I understand the word limit, although I kind of wished for more on the werewolf/vampire episode, and the Volturi visit. (Make sure you spell it right in the final draft, by the way. Volterra is the city; the vampires are the Volturi) Maybe if you didn't hint at more of a story behind the words. But, even then, you have to stay true to your characters. hmm. Stupid word limit. lol.
Ooh, I have an idea. You get kind of in a pattern of a few words that sets Bella off reminiscing, and then Emmett enters, and she stops that pattern. Not fully, but no more flashbacks. No more italics. I was actually looking for the italics on her thoughts about the wolf/vamp fight. Maybe have her explain something like the sight of Emmett as the groom instead of the pastor, made her realize how close the ceremony was and that she couldn't go gallivanting off in her own memories every few seconds. That wouldn't take too many words, really, and would help explain the change in flow.
Good luck with the contest! I hope I helped. Really, this was an excellently done fanfic. You were good with the characters. They didn't seem out of character, and I know that is pretty hard-keeping them in character. Emmett was hilarious as the pastor. Great job, and good luck!
| Martha chapter 1 . 7/21/2008
I really like to tell you this fan fiction story was great especially how Emmett had to be the "minister" that was hilarious. I love how you kept the story to flasback into the past and said what happened when bella was changed. The only thing is that made me a bit sad was how it was mentioned that Jacob had a son and was with Leah. Just that fact that Edward and Bella can't have their own was a bit sad for me it reminded me what Bella won't have when she becomes immortal forever to be with Edward but I think it's still worth it for them in the end. Besides that it was a great story i wish you could continue it or talk about more of what happened after Bella was turned like with her friends like Angela, Ben, Mike, Jessica and etc.
| Topaz Ki chapter 1 . 7/21/2008
| Molly chapter 1 . 7/21/2008
I saw you post on Amazon, and thought I'd read and offer you some feedback. "At least you aren't accident prone anymore." seemed wrong to me. And for lack of a better word, it was a "lame" way to introduce that aspect of her change. I'd suggest more like "at least you can walk on two feet" or something of that tone. I also didn't feel that when she said her eyes were practically the same color brown as before was believable. In my opinion, they would have changed to a topaz or black variety (depending, of course). And when you say "I suppose I do look different now." you have a bit of a verb tense contradiction. I think it should be "I supposed I did look different now." And I was pretty confused when you wrote the flashback about Emmett marrying them. I guess it works, but I wouldn't have thought that to happen at all. Oh, and I was curious where they were at the time of Rosalie's wedding. And good idea to have that be what triggered all the flashbacks! That was clever. ""Not really, the only difference is that I'm a vampire?" I suggested." that part didn't sound right to me either. I was thinking that you could say something more along the lines of "Oh? Such as... my mortality(/humanity)?" But the original line does work. I also felt that the morphine was far-fetched because morphine works through your blood, and after the venom dries it up, it's pointless. But it was an interesting twist to the process the way you wrote it. And good job mentioning the blushing! And the war between the wolves and the Cullens seemed to lack a solution... "He looked sad; Edward had always worried about me not accepting this life. He always worried that I felt as if I had missed out on something." that part was good. Very important from the previous books. One more thing I thought you should have said: something about Bella's struggle with blood and how she dealt with it. That seems to be the only thing missing to me. All in all, a good story for under 3,0 words. And while no one can imitate Stephenie Meyer, you did a pretty good job :) Keep writing and I loved getting a taste of Breaking Dawn!
| Jane chapter 1 . 7/21/2008
Awesome story. It really captures the essence of the twilight world, so cookies for that! But I don't think you focused enough on the werewold/vamp war. I know there isn't alot that can be born from 3,0 words, but the war seemed alot more important a concept than the memories. No offense. Try maybe making Jacob and Bella come to terms with the others decisio during that time. It might make things a bit more interesting, or at least fulfilling as an ending to everything. Anf your end line was cute, but take a tip from someone who's taking advanced English classes. The last line of your story is by far one of the most important, second only to your first line. It has to capture everything in your story, and make it come together in a way that describes your characters, and fits in to everything that's happened to them. Try something really cute, like "Bring it on." or, perhaps, go for blunt simplicity, such as "Positive."
But if your really strongly connected to that line, than keep it. It's your story, and it's your creation. Not mine. Good luck in your contest!
Hugs from Edward,
| MoonStarWithWings chapter 1 . 7/21/2008
OK, I love it! But I have a few little improvements, which I will list. I AM NOT CRITISCING - I loved it!
'"Not really, the only difference is that I'm a vampire?" I suggested.' I would take out the question mark.
'"This is what I want. I want to be with you, Edward. It's the only way that makes sense, $just like Carlisle said$." I replied.' Adding in the bit in $$s.
'I felt the needle slide into the crease at my elbow; I waited a few seconds to start feeling numb.' Maybe put in a bit about Bella's aversion to needles?
'"See what?" My brows knit together in confusion.' knitted - you're in past tense.
I loved it, and I really hope you win!