Reviews for Pokemon Crystal : The Abridged Fanfic
bulbasaur2345 chapter 1 . 9/25/2012
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... what the hell
supersexyghotmew95 chapter 25 . 9/8/2012
Oh yellow I love u even if you are crazy someone had to bite kris and u rule
She Who Loves chapter 29 . 9/6/2012
...Pineapples.

HOLY CRAP YOU UPDATED.

Bob evolved! Yay!
Taco Kickline chapter 25 . 9/13/2011
I was reading this and I became very excited, because you know, Yellow is my favorite character in Pokemon advanced besides Diamond. . and then I was like.. Ooohhhh booooyyyy can't wait for...

Yellow: Meep *bites protagonist*

Me: T.T...

Yellow: Meep

Yellow's Doduo: IMA FIRIN MAH LAZAHHH! *hyperbeams*

Me: XD
She Who Loves Pineapples chapter 27 . 2/19/2011
[" Eryeergh. M' name's Zeke. We dun take too kindly to Johto folk, typically a cup' of medd'some chicks. This is'th Kanto Pokemon Fed'ation. An' me an' m' brothers, Dwayne an' Harris, take our positions seriousrah. Betcha scared uh these chains. "]

This is difficult to read.

This chapter is a lot more well-written than the past chapters. Perfect amount of description, too.

Redneck bikers. XDD

It's interesting to see that Kris actually has a sense of right and wrong... though of course she loses it in her desire for revenge. Or was revenge her only thought in the first place?

And I like your twist on the Power Plant story. What a coincidence; I just fixed the Power Plant in my SoulSilver today. XD It really is an inconvenient location, isn't it?

And that weird PMS-ing manager was so weird in Silver Version. This fic reminded me of that. They made him too normal in HGSS. D:

[Mr. Policeman gave a hesitant look, then exchanged a glance with Kris, his eyes insisting that he had to deal with this idiot on a frequent basis. And so in return Kris pitied him, since Mr. Policeman seemed to be very similar to a certain boy she knew. Gold finally wrestled his hands out of Yellow's jaws and was now starting a snotty faucet of his own. All that stupid boy needed was a couple of decades stacked upon his age and some facial hair. Two Mr. Nosedrips.]

So is she thinking of Silver or Gold? It seems like Silver since he's so whiny, but then it talked about Gold so it was kinda confusing...

Funny chapter.
She Who Loves Pineapples chapter 26 . 12/20/2010
LOL Copycat.
C-Sui chapter 26 . 12/13/2010
At last, a new chapter! (I need to update myself, actually...)

It's been so long that Yellow had me laughing all over again. She's so ridiculous, I love it. XD

Sabrina was creepy, very creepy. I bet she can brainwash people just by being in close proximity to them.

Saw a little typo before Kris starts talking to the Copycat girl.

"Creeped out Kris raised an eyebrows."

Take out the "s" in "eyebrows".

Looking to more craziness between Kris and Yellow next time. :P
She Who Loves Pineapples chapter 25 . 5/28/2010
[Kris remembered that the last time she took a peek at the KNB, Elm's wife was on the front cover with a lampshade on her head. In the background was her mother, holding up a picture of Gold and her daughter holding hands for the world to see. Needless to say, Kris had burned all copies of the KNB in New Bark.]

ROFL.

I like how you tied the remakes into this.

[It was almost like a tunnel, a place where creeps, weirdos, and dirty old women spent their time lurking. Originally built for the escape of innocent fugitives and Jynx with black faces]

Ahahahaha! XD Is Nintendo hunting the black-faced Jynx? XD

[" Pleasure to make acquaintances with you again, Miss Staller. "]

And… this is still a problem. There shouldn’t be a space between “ and the P, or the period and the “. It should be…

["Pleasure to make acquaintances with you again, Miss Staller."]

It’s a little hard to read with the unnecessary spaces.

[Oh, and some foreign animal, I believe it was ferret or possum or some species of raccoon. I figured that most people wouldn't appreciate eating a baked raccoon, though. "]

D: I don’t appreciate the less-than-pretty ferret reference. The fact that media almost always shows them in this context (despite the fact that they are adorable, loving pets, and not rodents by the way) is what leads to them being banned in some states and stupid things like that.

[" MEEP ! "

CHOMP !

" DAWWW, SON'VABITCH ! "

Kris grabbed for the hand that Yellow bit into and attempted to shake the girl away. Falkner yanked his lackey by the arm, pulling her off the victim and leaving a long trail of drool and blood from Kris's hand. " So sorry, Kris, " he mumbled, turning away from the brutal glare that he was about to receive.]

It was a bit confusing to tell what had happened at first. You might have mentioned that Yellow bit Kris’s hand right after the CHOMP noise.

Heey, where did the last name “Schwartz” come from? Yellow’s full name (English) is Amarillo del Bosque Verde… she could probably go by Yellow Verde if you want the faster option, but there’s no need to just make something up.

Anyway, this is a hilarious chapter. War zone parody? LOL. Good idea. I really liked Yellow in this (even though she was way OOC XD) and the idea that she’ll be “baby-sitting” Kris from now on is awesome.

Update soon! :D
C-Sui chapter 25 . 5/23/2010
Holy crap. What is this I don't even.

I found this chapter amusing but surprisingly intense. "Mew, is this a parody or a f-king war scene?" My thoughts exactly.

But it was interesting. The battle scenes weren't bad, but I agree they're a little off. But Kris didn't do much of the fighting, anyways. I think it's hilarious how different Yellow is from the original Yellow.

I enjoyed this chapter. It's always interesting and fun reading this fanfic!
She Who Loves Pineapples chapter 24 . 5/1/2010
Finally caught up to this part.

Marshmallow Head was the murderer! Wow. Didn't see that coming. xD That's just... awesome.

LOL at the random environmentalist.

[" Yeah...who are you ? "]

What's with all the random spaces? There shouldn't be a space between the quote and the word, or the question mark and the word. Also... there should be a space after the dot-dot-dot.

In other words, it should look like this:

["Yeah... who are you?"]

Ahaha that was hilarious.

Poor Kris... just when she thinks she's done, she has to go to Kanto too. 'xD

This has even gotten funnier as it's gone along, and Kris is a bit more like-able of a character, too.

I hope you continue this!
She Who Loves Pineapples chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
I am utterly confused. ''XD
She Who Loves Pineapples chapter 1 . 4/10/2010
[" Are you a boy ? Or are you a girl ? "

" GOTDAMN IT, ARE YOU BLIND ? I AM A GIRL ! "

" Oh. Well, geez. Don't act like such a bitch. I'm only asking you a simple question. "]

Ahaha I know right? XD I love it when the game asks you the gender... though it's funniest in FireRed and LeafGreen. "So, tell me about yourself. Are you a boy, or a girl?"

"Kris Staller" Ha ha cute name.

lol the Wooper.

Oak really is senile. What kind of a guy forgets his grandkid's name? XD

ROFL suing Silver for sexual harrassment.

I thought if you set the clock to night, the character says, "Oh, no wonder I was asleep." o_0

Why did the spelling of her name change halfway through the first chapter?

This is really funny so far.
MikariStar chapter 24 . 4/7/2010
this was really fun to read _
tobi's.little.kunochi chapter 24 . 4/7/2010
Man, this story just gets funnier and funnier! And I now just noticed that Bob never evolved...

Anyway, keep up the good work!
Raara chapter 1 . 3/27/2010
O_O...YES A FANFIC ABOUT THIS! I was looking for a novelization of Crystal but...this is good too. :D Haha I was mad at Silver too when he was all "GTFO" at me. Hehe I lost my old game a LONG time ago so...i've been playing an emulator too. XD
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